Dating Thread 89

[Docmartensanddungarees]

Candle light and soul forever
A dream of you and me together
Say you believe it, say you believe it

Free your mind of doubt and danger
Be for real, don't be a stranger
We can achieve it, we can achieve it

Come a little bit closer
Baby, get it on, get it on
'Cause tonight is the night when 2 become 1

raspberry - wait so Mr T is gone but Mr Y is still in touch? Benefits of Mr Y?!

jesy afternoon tea with both mums sounds lovely, enjoy, all fillings etc sound great.

britney yes OLD is a minefield and yes men go AWOL all the time. Good you have a new keen option.

Super

I think Mr T predates Mr Y:)

Sorry you're having such a torrid time.

We all get jaded with online dating. :/

Yep a date for a date's sake isn't worth it as I have just realised this evening, after one of the shortest dates in history.

I knew he wasn't my type but agreed to go out with him for something to do and because you never know until you meet someone. We met, he was at least 6 inches shorter than me and had a gold hoop earring. We had a quick drink in a bar where the music was so loud we couldn't talk. He said we should go somewhere else and when we got outside I just thought sod this I just want to go home. So I told him and he was very good about it, walked me to my car. I feel bad as I think he was a nice guy but just so not for me.

So yes I am feeling very jaded with online dating after two crap dates in a week!

Sienna

He sounds like some dodgy disco loving dwarf;)

How did you resist?

Ah sienna sorry you had another crap date :(
lurking am I right in thinking this is your first OLD? In which case I thjnk it's perfectly reasonable and a good plan to treat it as a 'putting yourself back out there' practice date (as long as it's not inconveniencing you too much e.g. Not costing an arm and a leg in babysitting).
I did one of those (knew I wouldn't fancy him before we even met) and ended up having a lovely pressure free chat,takeaway coffee and walk along the beach - lovely guy jist my for me but great confidence builder in teaching me I can still talk tk the opposite sex!

Super then you need to step it up with MOTS!!

whatsfor you sound a bit despondent too? Good luck or are you taking a break from it?

blossom not long until Tuesday - good luck. Keeping fingers crossed for you with Mr Sailor. And ignore the silly comments!!!

jesy afternoon tea sounds lovely and I think it is a definite sign of something serious when Mr P suggested bringing both mums together!! Enjoy it!!

Chilli please, please be very careful and don't give out too much personal information; most people are reasonable and normal but some are just plain weird or even dangerous! Take care

Sienna I am so sorry that it didn't turn out well. Any more in the pipeline? There will be someone nice out there!

Waves to everyone else!!

Having said that, now that I've had multiple dates and dtd with 2 players men post break up from dh I have now realised that my spare time is precious and I am no longer willing to invest my time or money forking out for babysitters on anyone who clearly won't meet my expectations. I must have wasted over £150 on Mr E in petrol,babysitting,drinks,activities etc-all for nothing!

Chicken in oven , cake frosting done , eggs boiled , you get feeling I'm nervous about today .

Just got back in bed lol

Hello everyone, and happy Mothers day!

Newto,Sienna and Super sorry your feeling frustrated with this OLD lark. As really says, there will be someone nice out there somewhere!
Blossom, did you text Mr A?*
Rasp, how did it pan out with Mr T? Don't forget what you said about Mr T being like your ex, fitting you round everything else, late night dates etc, and that was what you were used to so it felt 'comfortable'. Be careful about him edging his way back into your good books ... (Hope you don't mind me saying that)

No dates this weekend for me as have my kids here, which is lovely, we're going for a bike ride and lunch out today, should be nice. Got a couple of irons in the fire, suitor 1 who I'm quite keen on, we've progressed to texting, he's had his kids with him this weekend as well, he's local, and we seem quite well-suited. Not met him yet of course, so we'll see, hope to meet him soon, too much texting can build a false sense of intimicy IMO, and build hopes...
Suitor 2, we're still just messaging on MM every few days, just keeping that going really until I see how it pans out with suitor 1.
Been in contact with Mr Curveball, texted him happy birthday, had a few long text exchanges. I feel happier that things there now on a more even keel there IFSWIM, I find I have no secret hankerings to get back together with him, so feel much better now about moving forwards.

Sorry Jesy, missed your post. Hope you're enjoying your lie in!

Waltzing

I would be but a spin class called him and I'm sat watching a Disney film chicken cooked tho so a bit more relaxed

Morning! I think(as usual) I hadn't explained myself properly. I don't mean I'd just go meet anyone for the sake of getting out the house
What I meant is if I liked someone, as I do wetfish then I'd be happy to go meet them. What I'm saying is at this stage I'm happy to potentially waste time just to get myself used to dating as there's never a guarantee you'll like someone face to face. I don't mind meeting someone for coffee when I can spare time and if I got to the date stage then I hope I'd enjoy it for what it is, a night out as I don't get the chance to go to the cinema or gigs etc as I don't have anyone to do those things with.

Jesy Hope you have a nice day, it's good your nervous, if you weren't you wouldn't care. I know it doesn't always feel good being nervy but sometimes you enjoy the early relationship nerves I think?

Chilli That message would creep me out, does sound like someone is trying to check you are who they think you are without giving their identity away.

Sienna I'm sorry but I can't not laugh at that date, awful! I think(hope) I'd have done the same as you and walked.

Super I've not been at this old long and I can already see i'll be taking breaks from time to time as it's harder work than it should be and makes you so cynical.

Waltz Glad your having a good weekend, maybe you'll have a date arranged for next weekend, a lot happens in a week in the old world

New I understand how your thinking about your time and I'm trying to give up some of my time now and not to think I'm wasting it which is hard. If I got a babysitter for an awful date I know I'd just be thinking I could've had fun with my Ds. The alternative I guess is never to find someone so this is a test for me to see if I actually want a relationship.

Hi everyone! Been lurking on this thread for a while but rarely post. I would appreciate your opinions on a man I've met on OkCupid though!

We've been talking on OkCupid for about a week. He is good looking, seems OK from his profile etc. but there is something a bit 'off' about him. When I first started talking to him, he dropped in that he had a 'morning glory' really early on in a general conversation about bad habits (his username is related to habits). I told him that comment was TMI and he toned it down but I get an undercurrent of him being a perv from the things he says sometimes. Constantly calling me 'hot stuff' when I've asked him not to is also starting to grate. He's also coming on a bit clingy ("did you miss me?" / "I missed you!") when we haven't messaged for half a day or so.

I'm not sure whether to give him a chance and arrange a date or back away. He lives near me and is the only man on there I've been remotely interested in but he's putting me off a bit!

I'd back off coffee, he sounds a creep. Sorry. Is a 'morning glory' a wank? Urggh, definitely TMI and inappropriate when you haven't even met each other.

Hi Coffee I have to say all of that would put me off too. You could say what harm would a meet do? but imagine having to talk to someone in real life who was that full on and cringy. I stopped messaging someone who said to me "Get your hot ass down here" Refering to their town. I just don't think you speak to a stranger like that even though I'm aware that is sometimes how people speak in real life.

Lurking

I'm terrified ,my mum has what ill call mental health issues , she had a break down when I was a kid and it scares me to the point I won't get help for my issues . She still on medication many years on and due to anaemia has mood swings

Yesterday went well but it was about 20 minutes this is a meal .

Part of me just want to run away , I'm not always treated like a grown up at home just thinking today a big mistake

Jesy Sorry, I got mixed up and didn't realise it was your mother that was making you nervous. I have experienced mental health issues myself and I feel more able to deal with people who are experiencing issues, nothing phases me in that respect. Having said that, I understand how difficult it must be to deal with your mother when you also have issues stemming from hers and wondering what anyone you introduce to her will think. I do think these days people are more informed and able to be compassionate. All I can say is I hope it goes well and try not to stress as many of us don't have a "normal" life you just have to deal with it as best you can.

Remember me telling you about the lovely man I was speaking to and the dodgy Whatsapp man?

Dodgy Whatsapp man is actually normal I think, just works long shifts ( nursing?)

Nice normal chap I was hoping to meet has turned out to be a psychopath. He called me last night and the conversation quickly escalated into him ranting about stuff, none of which had anything to do with us. He hung up on me.
Awoke this morning to find about a dozen vile messages. The first 4 were of a sexual nature and sent just an hour after our phone call and I found it odd because he hadn't even been flirting .The remaining messages were threatening , how dare I speak to him like that, I demand an explanation , all misspelt .
Phone call this morning from I guess his land line I ignored. Texting continued till about lunchtime so I called the police ( non emergency) and I haven't heard a word since.
Bloody scary.
Sorry if I've hijacked this thread, I wish you all a Happy Mothers Day x

Goodness Chilli That's extreme and seriously frightening. I'm glad you called the police. I hope they do more than simply give him a warning as it sounds like he needs serious help and I doubt you're the only person he's been abusive to.

I didn't call emergency police. The police woman said she hears this sort of thing all too often. I've blocked him from messaging me on POF.
The thing is ,if he hadn't got his leg in plaster ( which he really does have) I would have probably met him in RL and goodness knows what might have happened.
Also wondering how man times he's done this before.

Lurking

Most of time mum is fine but she can get Moody maybe mental health wrong she has a form of anaemia which I have that affects her
But she needed help for years , a few weeks back she got funny as she'd not slept well and she not trusting , I dormant to seem nasty as she'd do anything for me,

Please no one think I'm ungrateful coz I'm not

chilli how scary-hopefully you won't hear any more from him.This is what petrified me about OL or even RL dating

The thing is I was talking to lots of others too, I don't make up romances in my head, I think it is important to keep your options open,
This guy was forthcoming with his name etc so suppose there was the trust thing there, whereas those who were a bit more guarded , I treated with suspicion.
I expect the calls will start up again tonight ( suspect drink)