Dating Thread 89

[Docmartensanddungarees]

Candle light and soul forever
A dream of you and me together
Say you believe it, say you believe it

Free your mind of doubt and danger
Be for real, don't be a stranger
We can achieve it, we can achieve it

Come a little bit closer
Baby, get it on, get it on
'Cause tonight is the night when 2 become 1

Coffee I agree with MadeMan - 40 minutes isn't far away at all! And I think maybe what Raven says maybe he's some dates with someone else and not taken his profile down yet.

raven - I say as and when what's necessary. My last 2 weren't even relationships really so I may not mention them next time. The other previous one I will mention but it got a bit silly with him (he was being petty) so I don't want to sound mean etc.

I didn't hear from Mr Fireman so assume he blew me out re drinks - he texted me first thing, I replied lunchtime. No bad thing. Still 3 men from POF (Mr USA I think..., Mr Geek and Mr the other one (can't remember his nickname) but they all seem nice... conversation flowing.

Morning all
coffee I just wanted to say you must not take it personally that the man did not reply, could be for lots of reasons. I get tons of messages and just do not have time to reply to most. OLD requires a thick skin I am afraid but one could be out there keep faith.
Chatting to a local man atm, he seems very keen I am not so sure. Talking to a few but taking it easy, still thinking too much about Mr S, stupid I know.

super you sound like me chatting to a few going with the flow.

Hi all. I'd really appreciate some feedback on POF and Tinder as I've been back on a few days and am finding it all quite saddening.

1. If you get a vibe someone is not going to gel with you after a few messages, do you just tell them? Feeling guilty and end up talking to people for ages when I feel no interest.

1. I am very worried I look better in photos than real life. Should I include some ugly / bad photos of myself so people aren't disappointed? I think I'm just photogenic and it makes me scared of meeting people.

1. If they get very sexual in the first few messages is this a clear sign they are a twat?

I'm messaging now with about 10, but not feeling anything for any of them :(

Ok ladies advice on what to wear I've seen what the birthday girl is wearing and her mates are all dressing nice

Now I don't know what to wear

Brittany

I'd be honest , no point stringing them along.
A couple year back I messaged some one and he . Was honest enough to say sorry your not my type .
I was glad of the honesty it made a change.

Britney, 1) If you can manage to do that, yes! 2) No, milk it, 3) Ugh

Super I think the fireman knew you weren't really interested from your txts, which is fair enough. You weren't bothered so I imagine you were probably relieved not to go. When are you meeting brothers mate?

Jesy It does sound an unusual situation with your ex's though I think it's good if your all fine with it. The party will be fine I'm sure.

Blossom Just keep chatting on dating sites and soon Mr s will be a distant memory.

Raven I've hidden my profile just now, which is more to do with not wanting anyone to see me online if I'm not using it. I will only date one person at a time so have no intention of using profile but I don't expect the other person to be exclusive. I've made it known that that's the way I am and the guy I'm seeing says the same. This could well be lies but I wouldn't try to find out if he was lying or ask him to take profile down as that should be something he wants to do further down the line. I also understand what your saying in that it might make you appear more serious if you mention it.

Mademan Do you need to state what kind of woman you're looking for? I didn't on my profile as I feel the same as you, there is no type for me, I don't like to limit myself. I hope you don't mind me saying that I'm surprised that you have given up on the old. The reason I say this is because it's seems far easier from the mans side. From what I see most women are genuine, less likely to mess about and there seems to be a better selection of women than men.

Britney I tend to talk to a lot of men and if there is nothing there it just tends to tail off naturally in my opinion.
I am sure your photos are fine sounds like you are lacking in confidence
Men sexting before you have even met are def twats

scrambled I don't especially like hun/babe etc before meeting but I'd still meet.

Coffee sorry about the no reply. I've had a couple of no replies to messages I've sent too. It's hard - best thing might be to get a few going (even if you're not 100% sure about them) and then you don't mind so much (or even notice!) if someone doesn't reply.

Doughnut - I'm not sure on Mr Music Teacher, sounds like he could be draw you in too much and leave you feeling insecure? I think as a sorbet type, get-back-in-the-game relationship you need someone who isn't going to mess you around (even though casual). Not a game player. I think the fact he wants to keep you dangling and as an ego boost is a red flag for a casual thing. You don't want to be wasting time stressing about someone who isn't even going to be a relationship.

Ravens - tall smiley man sounds nice! I usually don't go online after 2nd date but wait to see what they do with their profile (this is just after being burnt by someone who said he wasn't interested in anyone else so I took mine down but he left his up!). My ex had an affair too and I read his emails to find out! If asked directly by a date (many ask in messages), I just say he had an affair but I keep it to bare facts and say I'm over it now and happy and accept maybe we weren't compatible and that I'm happy he's a good Dad. I try not to say anything negative about my ex and don't turn it into a complaining session.

super - glad you've got your 3 POF men chatting, good to keep a few on the go :)

Jesy - hope you find something nice to wear. I don't go to many parties so not sure I'll be much help! Good luck.

Britney - sorry you're finding Tinder and POF a bit rubbish. In answer to 1. to my embarrassment if I have a few people messaging, I sometimes end up just not replying to the last message of one I'm not sure about . But I'd just say you aren't sure you're compatible but wish them all the best. 2. I'm sure you don't look totally different - maybe ask some of your friends for opinions on whether your pics show the real you or are they more on the flattering side? Maybe include some natural ones - laughing or one from the side etc. 3. I wouldn't accept very sexual in first few messages from a man - to me it would indicate that we weren't looking for the same thing. I prob wouldn't reply or might say that i think we're looking for different things, good luck etc.

Lurking

It is odd. The first one who set me up with Mr post was good about it , and with Mr it my ex said he a good bloke so that helped me accept another date.

I come from a small town and most ppl seem to know each other.
I think likes of fb make world smaller, Mr it is friends with my ex best mates hubby lol

Britney 1. just let it tail off, if they're really persistent you can say something. 2. Most people put their best photos up! plus, I bet you are just as attractive in real life but, being a woman, over critical of yourself. 3. I wouldn't bother with them.

Super I must admit I'm still hoping MOTS will have legs.

Lurking where are all these genuine, good quality women you speak of?? Trust me, women are just as bad. Obviously not the ones on here as people join in with the thread because they genuinely want to get the dating thing right.

Hello everybody else

Raspberry

I've got a black dress and just found beads in charity shop in claret only £1:50
Had to pay for it in ten p pieces lol

Britney

1. yes tell them.

1. no no bad pics! I'm sure you look fine but no one really wants to see bad photos and why should you put them up?! I'm told I'm photogenic and better in real life in equal measure...

1. yes they're twats - avoid

Lurking and yes Mr Fireman no great loss. I was relieved.

I think I'm meeting brother's friend next week.

Rasp and Blossom I just think its good for now to chat to a few and not meet yet. Not to say I wouldn't rule out meeting yet but happy just chatting for now.

Doc like I say I was discussing MOTS with a friend at weekend and we both agreed to leave until I leave there... hopefully this spring!

rioux Sorry to hear things did not work out. How are you feeling?

Rioux sorry to hear that too.

To be honest i think both of you knew that it would never be light of your light stuff but still yuck when it ends...

have some I know it's earlier....

for what it's worth you sound a very very nice man (remember the AA advert?!) so I'm sure you won't have trouble attracting a suitable female in due course.

Jesy I missed the outfit question earlier. You can't g wrong with black dress. Have you got any coloured heels/bag you could wear with it. I'd also do red nails or similar.
I'm not used to going out much so hate having to think about what I'm going to wear now. My next date is casual so that takes the pressure of a bit.

Rioux I'd like to see you try old purely so I can see how it is from the other side. As Doc has pointed out, I seem to be under the impression that all the old women are genuine and normal and that all the men are messing around and experts at sending cock shots

Super I keep forgetting to say that I think you should just ask mots out, before someone gets in before you. I am always the first one to make the move because I'd hate someone to get in there first.

Doughnut I knew I'd left someone out before. I would avoid music teacher man. I don't think any good can come of it. If you want a fling,bit of fun then I'd find someone else as you know this guy too much.

Rioux

So sorry sweetie xxx

Lurking

Nails are already painted in claret and blue ,I don't have any coloured heels but I think I have a bag.

It's at the fancy golf club but least it's still walking distance home

His home not mine lol

I am always the first one to make the move because I'd hate someone to get in there first you are so confident Lurking and sorry for your situation Rioux but have to smile at Lurking also curious

Blossom good that you are chatting to people, anyone nice?

Super looking forward to update about brother's mate and still agree that you should try and chat to MOTS more!

Mademan and others; what do you think is a reasonable distance to travel? I have only dated a couple of people romantically and distance was an issue with one (opposite ends of the country) and has the potential to be with the other (different continents). Thoughts anyone??

Doughnut Music man does seem a bit risky but you are aware of that!
You also summed it up in a previous post "You don't know what you're looking for , until you find it.".

Ok, I typed a long post which Icopied to flick back and have now lost most of it!! Grrrr!!

So waves to everyone and will catch up later

Jesy Nails sound good, that's the kind of thing I meant( not that I'm a fashion expert) coloured or silver/gold bag is good so it's not too much with black. Most important is it's something you actually feel good in. As long as post is there you'll have a good night at the party and after ;-) My next date is tomorrow but I have work the next day and for the whole weekend so it puts a downer on it a bit as i'll be tired, I'm aware of having to get home before I look like a a pumpkin that's gone off the next day

Jesy - dress, nails and beads sound great. Can't go wrong with a black dress wish I had somewhere to wear mine to!

Really for me an hr is the maximum travel distance, I know that's realistic as I have a little one. It worked OK with my ex who was an hr away.

Rioux - sorry about the breakup, its so hard but it does get easier quickly. most important thing I think is to try not to have too much contact now even though you'll be tempted to support her through it and make everything OK, contact could be confusing for her. Yes, try OLD and we'll (try to) advise and handhold :).

Super yes chatting is good and maybe brother's friend will be amazing and you can ditch them all [grin[.

lurking - hope you don't get back too late from your date tomorrow :). I agree it is hard to work out what to wear when you don't go out much! I have a few date outfits sorted but all very casual.

Lurking have fun tomorrow :-)

Really for me long distance is fine if it's near certain parts of the coast. Intercontinental is probably doable depending on financial and life style restraints, as long as both parties are secure and realistic. For me it has to be mainland UK.

Am I the only person who doesn't worry about outfits? Jeans and a t shirt for most things