Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 ··· 25 26 27 ··· 39 40

Original poster

Dating Thread 89

999 replies

Docmartensanddungarees · 09/03/2015 09:38

Candle light and soul forever
A dream of you and me together
Say you believe it, say you believe it

Free your mind of doubt and danger
Be for real, don't be a stranger
We can achieve it, we can achieve it

Come a little bit closer
Baby, get it on, get it on
'Cause tonight is the night when 2 become 1

OP posts:

Blossomflowers · 25/03/2015 16:34

super have you any idea what MR Film looks like yet?

ScrambledEggAndToast · 25/03/2015 18:12

Opinions please ladies. Mr Sunday night date has been texting a lot today but keeps calling me "Hun" and "babe". Would this annoy you? I'm not sure that it annoys me as such but I'm worried that he's going to be OTT on Sunday.

SuperFlyHigh · 25/03/2015 18:13

Blossom when his name was mentioned ages ago I google checked him to find out looks. He looks nice quite good looking as I recall.

jesy · 25/03/2015 18:19

Scrambled

It don't both me as I call ppl sweetie all the time

My ex still calls me sugar in fact lol.

I guess it's just a term of environment I call my dog pig face at times but it don't mean out.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 25/03/2015 18:22

Cool, guess I'm on high alert what with all the time wasters. Scared of getting there and he's a real slime ball.

Lurkingforanswers · 25/03/2015 18:24

Scrambled It would bother me slightly but I'd still go on the date. It would bother me if a date said it yet there's an older guy I know who calls everyone babe and I like that and I also like the likes of Jesy who go around calling people sweetie etc. I'm weird I think

Sienna17 · 25/03/2015 18:36

scrambled I don't like it when they call you hun/babe before you've even met, after I don't find it so bad. But if you like the sound of him I wouldn't let it put you off going on a date. I don't think it's a sign he'll be OTT.

jesy · 25/03/2015 18:45

Lurking

I can't help it , lol ok food time starving but having a kids plate as I don't eat well.

coffeewithchips · 25/03/2015 19:56

Want to share a bit of a disappointment I've had recently. Online dating isn't working out that well for me. Most men on there don't stand out and if they do, they're just not interested in me.

I saw a guy had viewed my profile so I clicked on his. We were a 90% match, his profile was well written and interesting, photos show he's good looking, shares all my interests. I sent him a message, mentioned a few things in his profile and...he ignored it

Bit sad as he's the only person I've seen and been remotely excited about in ages. He lives in a big city about 40 minutes away from me so maybe that's why he didn't answer. Bit of a shame though as he didn't even want to talk.

Oh well. Onwards and upwards.

Lurkingforanswers · 25/03/2015 20:04

Coffee It might be that he was already exchanging messages with a few others or infact the distance, not really a big deal.
If your only disheartened because you haven't found anybody you're interested in dating yet then it's just a matter of time. Maybe just check the site from time to time, not put so much effort in, or try different site

MadeMan · 25/03/2015 20:22

"He lives in a big city about 40 minutes away from me so maybe that's why he didn't answer."

To me, 40 minutes away isn't far at all; it's not like you're both up opposite ends of the country. If that is his reason then it's a bit of a crap reason really; surely nobody realistically expects to date on their doorstep all the time?

Doughnut123 · 25/03/2015 22:08

Coffee, I feel your frustration, but that's just normal for on line dating , I'm afraid. I think an awful lot of the people on there have no intention of meeting up or having a relationship. I think that a lot of people are married. Your man just sounds so typical. I've had exactly the same thing happen. I'm looking for a very specific kind of man. Someone arty, who makes me laugh like a drain, who is kind and not self obsessed. Sensitive , without being a pain in the arse! A lot of the men I've seen on the dating sites ( and some of the ones I have met), have been city types. I'm not tarring every commuter with the same brush , but they were generally very dull. And I've been married to a commuting workaholic for 15 years-he crushed my spirit-not intentionally, but he is quite obsessed with money and time keeping. I don't want to go there again. I've really given the on line dating up for good now.
But I have another little interest. He is everything that I love-a musician, arty, absolutely hilarious and we get on. BUT, he is a player. I have only ever kissed him, nothing more, but he wanted to have sex. Well, that was 2 years ago. Just to complicate things further, he teaches one of my children.
Sometimes he texts me regarding the lessons, when he really doesn't need to. It seems to be an excuse to talk to me.
He knows I am no longer with with my husband and that I am living alone. He has asked if I see much of my ex, he's just fishing really.
Anyway,the other day, I took the bull by the horns and just texted him-how are you?' Sort of thing.
He texted straight back that he would 'love to see you again some day. 'I texted back that I would love to see him too.
But then, nothing. No response for more than a day now. This is how he is.
But I think he may be the one to just get me back into dating, if I can control my feelings. I haven't had sex for at least 3 years. I just need some fun, a laugh, with someone I like. I know I can never be involved with him properly, as he just can't do relationships. Pick am very cynical about him. I think I just boost his ego and that's all he wants now and then. Just to keep me dangling.
Sorry, bit of an essay. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thank you.

MadeMan · 25/03/2015 22:19

"But then, nothing. No response for more than a day now. This is how he is. "

It's probably just part of the arty personality. I think creative people can be a bit unconventional and crap with routines, unlike perhaps their city working counterparts.

Doughnut123 · 25/03/2015 22:36

Yes, you're right Mademan. But, with him, it's all or nothing. He just ignores your messages. Just doesn't respond. Then he'll pop up again,when he feels like it. He is a nightmare. Thing is, he's very clever. He knows how to charm a woman. He got the measure of me very quickly and got into my head. Then, he just ignored me. It's not nice. But I can't help this crush I have on him. I've never met anyone like him. We seem to be totally on the same wave length . We're even born on the same day. But I must be sensible. I must stop obsessing about him and resign myself to celibacy! Honestly, I think that's where I'm heading. I could have a man if I wanted one. But I don't just want any man,for the sake of having a man. I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person. How are you? Are you internet dating?

MadeMan · 25/03/2015 22:44

I'm fine thanks Doughnut. Nope, I'm not doing internet dating anymore because I got fed up with it and I'd rather try my luck in the outside world. I wasn't too keen on having to state what sort of woman I was looking for because in truth I don't really know; it's not something I can reduce into pigeonholes.

Doughnut123 · 25/03/2015 23:02

Sorry to hear that Mademan. It's very true. How can you know until you actually meet someone anyway? I just know what I don't want.
I have an analogy.Trying to find someone that you like and can grow to love, be it in real life or on the internet, is like buying a house. You might absolutely fall in love with the look of a house from the estate agent's details. It looks perfects ,but then you visit the house and realise that all the photos were slightly misleading. The kitchen looked bigger and brighter on paper, the garden looked longer and more manicured than it really is. The road that the house is on, is busy and parking is a nightmare. So, the advert for the house has just portrayed the good bits and embellished them somewhat. It's just like the profiles you see in on line dating. People try to show their best side. You don't know what you're looking for , until you find it. The house that seems the most unlikely, can often be the one you end up with.

Doughnut123 · 25/03/2015 23:10

Scrambled, I totally agree with you. I hate being called 'Hun' or 'babe' by someone that I haven't even met, but I would still go and meet the man .give him the benefit of the doubt.
Jesy,
'I call my dog 'pig face' at times , but it don't mean out' - that's hilarious.

MadeMan · 25/03/2015 23:11

"You don't know what you're looking for , until you find it."

Absolutely, this pretty much sums up how I feel about it.

Doughnut123 · 25/03/2015 23:23

Glad that struck a chord with you Mademan.
I always say, 'you could look like the elephant man, but if you can make me laugh, you're halfway there!'
Maybe that is a bit extreme, I wouldn't quite go for the elephant man! But humour is SO important to us women. It's much more sexy than just a pretty face. If I saw a profile where the man had put his best feature as his bum or his abs, it was an instant turn off. Obviously,there has to be something to attract you,but making a woman laugh increases a man's attractiveness hugely. Especially if they are self deprecating . Given the choice between someone like Daniel Craig and Billy Connolly, I'd go for Billy every time. Someone with a naughty twinkle in their eye does it for me . And Bill Nighy-how gorgeous is he? Despite being in his late sixties.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 26/03/2015 06:32

Coffee-I agree with others, that is so typical of OD. You just have to develop such a thick skin even though it can become a bit soul destroying at times. It's typical though, the ones you are interested in don't want to know, whereas the ones you aren't interested in you can't get rid of!! That's my experience anyway.

jesy · 26/03/2015 08:00

Doughnut

I know what you mean about laughter thing , when I met my ex I didn't fancy him , he was skinny lol but we had of non dates walks , ect but he made me laugh and I think that what built up my trust in him, and as he wasn't such a looker I didn't feel pressured .

Just watching first dates this lovely looking man has said it all ,

It's a numbers game .

ravenmum · 26/03/2015 08:08

Coffee, maybe he's just had a couple of dates with someone else and not taken his profile down yet, for example. I've now had a second date with my tall smiley type and wondering if it is presumptuous to take my profile down, or rude not to!

How much do you lot say about your previous relationships? My last (and more or less only) ended unpleasantly - he had an affair, I read his emails. Smiley type has been open about his past (but not creepily so!) but I'm nervous to say anything much in case it makes me look bad. On the other hand, not mentioning it makes it a bigger deal when I do finally say something...

jesy · 26/03/2015 08:15

Ravenmum

Mr post knows a lot about my ex he was the one who told me through about my ex last year lol.
All three of my I guess relationships know each other .
Mr post was aware of the fwb thing I had we never really discussed it but I know he knows as I saw fb post from last year where they on a lads weekend and he made a comment about Mr it saying he was a lucky sod going home to me lol

ravenmum · 26/03/2015 08:19

That is a lot easier if he knows everything anyway, though it must have its drawbacks!

jesy · 26/03/2015 08:26

Yeah it a bit awkward like Friday night will be.

I'm going to a birthday party both exes will be there lol

Flip

1 2 ··· 25 26 27 ··· 39 40