Dating Thread 89

[Docmartensanddungarees]

Candle light and soul forever
A dream of you and me together
Say you believe it, say you believe it

Free your mind of doubt and danger
Be for real, don't be a stranger
We can achieve it, we can achieve it

Come a little bit closer
Baby, get it on, get it on
'Cause tonight is the night when 2 become 1

Super I bet hold off on my vouchers for now then, till he learns what I'm like friends and family get embarrassed by me because I pay with the correct change I think I'm being helpful.
I won't change my ways but I probably need to break others in gently.

Doc Fancy a date?

Lurking ha ha... I bet we'd manage not to spend a penny!!

broken Discussing/using other forms of birth control is something that could/should be considered in a relationship and not with casual daters.
He may be surer of your history but this is already an indication that you can't be sure of his!! (As well as poor disposal/yucky habits!) Echoing Equinox I would also find this disrespectful!

Blossom hope you are feeling a little better, eating lots of , drinking and chatting to some new people

Super worth trying brother's mate though??

Scrambled feel better soon and enjoy your date!

Lurking agree with you, 'numbers' is not something you need to discuss unless you want to .

Braving hello and welcome to the kind and thoughtful advice and support from everyone here.

I also came here to 'suss' the dating scene out before I tried it and got some great advice. I have been very fortunate to have been able to go down the RL route but I am in a position to get out and about quite lot which I appreciate is not possible when one has young children. Most of all, take time to get over your unexpected shock and look after yourself first and foremost

Sunglasses looks like your name change was succesful?? Welcome (back??)

Jesy we all need a helping hand now and again and if Mr Post is happy to help, let him Enjoy your evening!

Rasp glad you had great weekend

Britney banker sounds a weirdo!

As for me, quiet week on the dating front as Mr M away all week. Did have a quick coffee date last night though with a male friend and lots of plans with various friends towards the end of the week.

Happy dating/ messaging and keep your spirits up

That is a decision only you can make broken regarding what to do next. If it makes you feel sick then why would you want to carry on? Not judging by the way just curious?

Broken no you didn't fuck up asking him. I would have thought a bit of openness was important as you need to know how exposed to the risk of catching anything you are.. so it's relevant. If he sleeps with a new person every week, and they all sleep with a new person every week.. and you already know he is happy not to use condoms sometimes. That's a lot of people.

And I agree with Really.. If the thought of him with someone else doesn't sit right with you, maybe reconsider the situation. That feeling is unlikely to go away.

Broken do you think maybe you could take some time out and get yourself in a better place? you don't need a man/sex to help you do this. You just need to be kind to yourself and focus on doing the things you love doing. Once you get your mojo back you will be in a much better position to date and to make decisions that will enhance your self esteem

Broken I have to agree with Doc here. You do need to think of yourself and get yourself on an even keel. When you are in bad place within yourself, casual sex will end up destroying your self-esteem and confidence. Please take good care of yourself and keep posting here. We can't offer you a date but we can offer and support and friendship.

Lurking

I think it fine to use the asap ,
Money for me is very tight , to point I burst into tears in the bank today as I don't have any thing in the bank. Literally nothing and no benefit till Monday so won't even see Mr post after today as I can't get there.

Doubt ill be much fun tonight Tbh .

Doc - I've texted the fireman with the get out clause...

Yes, my brother has now organised it into 'xxxx is staying for a few days so why don't you come over for dinner?!' - which I probably will do but I mean my DB and SIL will be sitting there and smiling nicely and praying I don't say anything weird and I and he will know we're 'set up'. now where's my valium?!

broken - sorry to say again but if you're in a bad place casual sex doesn't help much at all - I've done it. The thing is you think you can cope etc but in reality it's harder than it looks and sadly is where men seem to have a better time as they generally separate their emotions from sex better than we do.

Take care of yourself. and yes, keep posting here.

Super make sure you are yourself, don't watch what you say because of your brother. Maybe you and this guy (he needs a name!) will have a moment to yourselves where you can both laugh at your brother's lack of subtlety with the introduction!

Doc my brother will be there, LOL. Let's call him Mr Filmmaker. because that's what he does.

PS - MOTS is still an option but I don't really want to start anything until/if I get a new job... but he's still an option.

super I hope Mr Filmmaker turns out to better that MR S, he also made films. Will be weird with your brother and SIL there

Jesy I don't have a lot of money either and will not be able to keep going on dates every week but if I keep seeing someone then it'll move on to dates indoors that don't cost much. It is awful though when your worried about what restaurant your going to etc because your worried about being able to pay for it. It should be easy to say but then you're worried it'll look like you're asking for them to pay

Broken I also think some time out is needed. The fact you want to carry on seeing this man after finding condoms shows that you're already attached and not wanting it to end. If it was just casual you'd find it easier to move on to someone more decent.
It is important to be happy as you are. I would like to find a partner to enhance my life and to share my life with but if it never happens then I know i'll still be happy. Because I'm happy in my life I wont accept a relationship for the sake of it. If you only want a casual relationship then that's fine because I don't personally it's not a situation I would knowingly get myself into. I hope you're not upset by anything that's been said by me or anyone else. We are trying to help and be supportive. The dating will be a lot easier when you're ready for it

Lurking

I know what you mean, I used to say to start off with that I don't have a job.
Just feel it best to be up front.

It's a hard on Jesy As people just assume you have money especially if they're in a different situation. With me being a single parent I feel it's wastefull spending money on dates too as it's money that could be spent on DS. I worry if I'm doing the right thing spending time and money dating if it takes away time and money from DS

Well that is weird I have replied to someone a fair bit older than me, break the pattern try something new. Mind sure alot of people are lying, pretty sure MR S was a good few years older than he said. Am chatting to several people right now, gonna be so wary about going on a date though, after what has happened

Oh an prat MR Surveyor keeps trying get in touch (he was the one who arranged a date and then did not confirm and sent a casual hiya text the next day) Still ignoring him

I've never met anyone in real life ( slight lie but my ex sort of set me up with Mr post)
But reading polls post makes me wonder do people get treated this way in rl, ie rude comments on meeting , or is it just on line they think can get away with it

Rioux nice try but I know my brother... he will want to have me pinned there in their front room whilst they scan my face for any signs of interest...

I do have a get out clause there too - I could say 'oops ditzy Super forgot to bring wine/dessert shall I nip across to Tescos (2 second walk) for it?' and drag Mr Filmmaker with me and maybe to a pub on the way...

Blossom - yeah it will be weird with them both there, even worse if the flatmate Julia is there too...

Lurking I agree with you re dates - I have money (go me!) but not loads of it... and when you arrange dates it can be costly. Best to be upfront.

Blossom to be honest I wouldn't be too wary - I really do think Mr Sailor was quite out of order and not your standard man in his way of thinking/being. You seem lovely so far from what I see here so why change??