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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating Thread 89

999 replies

Docmartensanddungarees · 09/03/2015 09:38

Candle light and soul forever
A dream of you and me together
Say you believe it, say you believe it

Free your mind of doubt and danger
Be for real, don't be a stranger
We can achieve it, we can achieve it

Come a little bit closer
Baby, get it on, get it on
'Cause tonight is the night when 2 become 1

OP posts:
Blossomflowers · 23/03/2015 15:26

lurking thanks. I am a little shocked, I thought we were very compatible. Said he is freaked out by it all. Would never have expected this from him. I am very upset but will of course pick myself up, I am feeling stupid and sad right now.

Original poster
Docmartensanddungarees · 23/03/2015 15:52

Blossom I am so sorry to read this. We were all hoping for better from this guy. Lots of Cake definitely in order.

OP posts:
Lurkingforanswers · 23/03/2015 15:53

Blossom I had a conversation recently about this and it's a sad state of affairs how dating is now. I'm always one for going with my instinct but lots of men(and women I'm sure) are now calculated liars, dating has changed and you can't trust your gut anymore. The reality is that if you want to avoid these men then you need to avoid dating and that would be a shame to do that. I'm a decent person as you are and it's a case of wading through isn't it. Doesn't stop it hurting but the dating thread helps as you're not the only one. Jesy Is good example when she says she's been there and she's in happy relationship now. I'm sure it wasn't easy getting there but I bet she's glad she persevered with it.

SuperFlyHigh · 23/03/2015 15:57

He shouldn't be sending you messages about fishing (jokey) and then sending you stuff re should he delete his profile/freaked out. That's messing with your head whether he's a liar or not! He wouldn't like it if you did same to him.

for example - I don't think I like apples the man I saw on Friday - I did say I'd see him (oops) but I've not contacted him or replied to his text from yesterday. I don't think he needs a text. He should get the message. But if he were to ask then I'd just say sorry, not suitable. Grownups do that!

I agree with what Lurking says sometimes gut instinct is great sometimes not so much and it lulls you into false sense of security. I try to put on my wading boots and wade through the idiots!

Blossomflowers · 23/03/2015 16:02

doc thanks for the cake going have lots of choc and wine tonight, cuddle up with the cats and watch shit TV.
lurking I really does help coming here and talking, , I think if was not for this thread I would be freaking out more, thinking there is something seriously wrong with ME. It was almost like he wanted me to try and talk him around, does he think I have no self respect.

SuperFlyHigh · 23/03/2015 16:04

I hate to say it Blossom but I sometimes think my cat (male, Felix, almost 1) would make a better boyfriend than a lot of men!

Original poster
Docmartensanddungarees · 23/03/2015 16:10

Blossom not sure if you remember Ms Accent but she was like that. She told me that she was seeing someone else and 'had to make a decision'. I said ok and that I wasn't going to be friends with her after that. She then started saying she preferred me to the other girl blah blah, she totally wanted me to go chasing after her and try to 'win' her. All she achieved was that I had zero respect for her. Sometimes we get drawn in by a total player. It's better he called it off now than a few weeks down the line. There is definitely a guy out there for you and maybe he will take you by surprise when you least expect it Thanks

OP posts:
Blossomflowers · 23/03/2015 16:10

super lol.

oh god is there any hope? Shall I just give up and become a mad cat lady. I am still reeling how badly I read this one

dippinmytoe · 23/03/2015 16:14

Ah blossom that is a shame. A bit of a cheek of his message about fishing !! I think he expected you to beg him and he couldn't believe that you were back looking !

Blossomflowers · 23/03/2015 16:14

doc awww thanks. My problem I believe what people tell me. I asked him about the type of place he lived and turns at to be unusual place, I said it sounded great and he replied yea like you did not know. Turns out he is quite well known and has appeared on TV, I had no idea. I just took him @ face value.

SuperFlyHigh · 23/03/2015 16:16

Blossom - we all get them wrong - hey I did that this and last year with 2 different men... but at least I knew they both weren't quite right.

Like Lurking says I think they all tailor stuff, know how to play you (the texts and calls I got from the last man were incredibly overwhelming!) and maybe think we want this all?!

My cat is ok... but he does miaow a lot... and demands attention - oh 2 man traits right there! Grin

SuperFlyHigh · 23/03/2015 16:17

also how were you to know he's a minor celeb?!

Blossomflowers · 23/03/2015 16:29

super because he told me, but was not boastful. When he left yesterday I thought he was awesome, he said all the right things, like you guys he was a great texter. I am just left a bit [confused} Sad. My radar is obviuosly way off

jesy · 23/03/2015 16:59

Blossom
Lurking is right not a happy girl today but I've been hurt before and I'm glad I didn't give up the right one their I don't if it be long term with Mr post I'd like to think it will be but if it goes wrong ill try again.

My heart goes out to you no one said life was easy this is from woman who falls apart lots but we got each other on here , this group special x

So cake n wine is order of the day and Mr blossom to be lol will appear x

Luv xxxxx

Blossomflowers · 23/03/2015 17:54

Thanks jesy life has been pretty rubbish this last year, so just when I tough things were looking up.

jesy · 23/03/2015 17:58

Blossom

I know feeling , my mum off ill I'm not sure if I should stay or to go to Mr post

jesy · 23/03/2015 18:02

Dog not my mum

Sienna17 · 23/03/2015 18:14

blossom I'm so sorry to hear he has been such a knob. You deserve so much better. It's really hard to pick yourself up when things like this happen.

I haven't posted much lately as I've been having a bit of a think about OLD and I think I'm going to give it a rest for a while. After my disastrous date with Mr Earring I just keep thinking I can't keep putting myself through this! I would really like to meet someone but it's just not going to happen through OLD. So I'm going to give up even trying to make it happen. I'm unlikely to meet anyone in RL but so be it. I'm just going to try and concentrate on other things. I'm trying for a promotion at work, don't think I'll get it but at least I'll have tried. Got a couple of evenings out with friends over the next few weeks, relatives coming to visit, lots to do round the house. I have a job I really enjoy and work with some great people so I'm just going to get on with life and stop thinking about dating altogether!

AmonRa1 · 23/03/2015 18:26

I'm lurker on this thread as not single, but just wanted to say I really feel for you Blossom and am gutted for you! I have been following you and Mr S and had everything crossed it would work out for you.

It is incredibly hard to keep picking yourself back up and dusting yourself off. It all seems a bit strange re him, you reminding him of his ex wife?! Surely he'd have known that from the off?! Idiot.

No advice, but hugs.

Blossomflowers · 23/03/2015 18:54

amon thank you. I am baffled really, I thought everything was good. He was so full on. OLD just seems a whole different ball game

britneyspearscatsuit · 23/03/2015 18:54

Shock oh no blossom. I'm so sorry.

What completely queer behavior. Why have the second date and do all those lovely things and have sex with you only to break it off right after? Are men this calculating? I'm so sorry, I know you must be feeling disappointed and rotten.

Make sure you cut off all attention and friendship from him now. Men like this HATE that!

ScrambledEggAndToast · 23/03/2015 18:54

Really sorry to hear that Blossom WineThanks

Well my day hasn't been much better. Last night got loads of flirty texts, right up until about 10.30pm. Loads of "can't wait to see you" etc. 7am this morning I get a text saying that he can't meet as something has come up that he can't get out of Confused Yeah right, in nine hours, most of which he was asleep. Probably had the offer of another date.

However, slightly weirdly, at about 10.30am this morning he sent me a picture message on my phone. I didn't see it until about midday but my phone won't open picture messages (I just saw the notification). I had a think about what to do and then asked him to email it to me and I was curious. I have had no response all day.

Just getting really despondent. It's not him personally it's just soul destroying constantly being rejected. I see all these couples and I know that not all of them are happy but I'm sure most are. I just want that for myself Hmm

Blossomflowers · 23/03/2015 19:05

britney Exactly, it is very queer behavior. When he called me earlier I tought he was joking. I did text him to say I thought his message on POF was pretty unkind and he apologised.

Blossomflowers · 23/03/2015 19:13

scrambled sorry you had shit day

ScrambledEggAndToast · 23/03/2015 19:21

Thanks Blossom.