Honestly, when you go out for a meal..

[obviouslyneedsupernanny]

Not necessarily anywhere special, even just breakfast in a cafe, is there much conversation over the meal? Basic small talk, actual interesting conversation, or total silence?

I'm very 'strict' on no technology at the table, even making passive aggressive jokes with friends but some people don't seem to realise how rude it is.

He sounds like a rude arse. If his interest in you is this low after only seven months then it doesn't bode at all well. Dump him.

Yes we talk about all sorts of things.

If DH sat and looked at his phone throughout dinner I'd tell him to stop it.

He sounds vey rude OP.

Mary not sure why the but yeah, I do think it's sad that so many couples go out and just don't talk

Depends how hungry we are! If we're really hungry we don't talk until the food comes then we start commenting on the food then once we're feeling a bit more full we start chatting

Seriously though, after 10 years together sometimes we do have quieter meals out but we're both quite comfortable with quietness anyway, other times we'll chat non stop just depends but I just feel comfortable I never feel like oh no its silent I must fill it. I haven't actually gone out just with dh for a meal for over a year since we had our baby! This thread has reminded me we really should!

7 months in we were definitely chatting all the time I'd be pissed off about the phone.

we chatter, people watch, I mess about a bit with my phone...often to show him things, he doesn't really do social media, so misses funnies and ridiculous things relations things people have posted. He does have a fb account but rarely uses it, plus I like to check in on fb to torment him and photograph my dinner from ALL the angles. ;)

Your bf sounds a bit odd if he really hasn't anything at all to say over dinner ....is he like this at home too?

DP and I have been together 28 years but can still find something to talk about at the table. Phones are banned unless there's a very good reason to have it ready (like when mum had an op).

Yes, we have a few moments of quiet, like when we've started eating, but it's companionable, no awkwardness at all.

This chap I'd dump.

When my friend and I are out, we always look around at the couples at the other tables or sitting at the bar to see if we can guess their status and happiness. So many couples are sitting in silence. I don't understand it. No eye contact, just staring off, looking at their phone, playing with their fingernails, twisting their rings, studying their food.

And I think - who would I go out to eat with and not attempt conversation? Answer: People I don't like, but for whatever reason am forced to share a meal with (ranging from co-workers to relatives).

I'm a huge introvert, I don't do social interaction well at all, however DP and I can chat for ages together, we talk into the night if left to it and I like that.
Out to dinner we discuss food, movies, other diners, home stuff, kids, anything and everything.

Phones at the table is incredibly rude!

My DP is a quiet and formal person and takes a while to warm up, even with me, after years together. If I didn't make the effort, he would spend most of the meal staring at the wall in a daydream.

He's gradually getting more sociable and I've learned to find ways to draw him out. Phones are definitely banned, as he'd be on it too in a restaurant if he could. I think the more extrovert one has to make the biggest initial effort for a successful night out.

Yes we talk, yes we can sit in companionable silence and not have to talk, no I don't think its acceptable to be on the phone at dinner, yes it's ok at coffee.

We chat. But we love going out to lunch and and taking our books. Such a lovely relaxing thing to do!

Depends how loud it is. I can't understand well in loud environment as I am a speech reader (read lips, listen to sounds I can pick up, and watch body languages all together..without one, I am lost) so I am quiet.

DH has a bit of a high pressure job and started to get into the habit of emailing at the table when we were eating out but I've banned phones now. We always have stuff to talk about though and it's one of the reasons I'm with him. No way would we sit in silence.

Sitting quietly is fine (for 40 minutes seems a bit long, though); looking at the phone is not! We are both chatters although some of what we talk about would bring to mind the proverb "speech is silvern; silence is golden" to someone listening!

Yes, we talk debate stuff (he has a degree in arguing whereas I'm an avid news junkie). We try not to talk about the kids and definitely no mobile phones. We have different political leanings and share quite a few friends, so usually something to debate talk or gossip about. We were in a ldr for a couple of years before moving in together though and, unusually for a bloke, it was difficult to get him off the phone!

It depends. If we have a lot going on then talk is non stop and if it's a run of the mill kind of week then we talk less. After 30 years we are quite comfortable with a happy silence and it doesn't reflect any relationship issues.

We went out for lunch today and spent an hour and a half discussing how we would redesign our tatty kitchen. We really know how to keep the romance alive.

I wouldn't rule out using our phones, but only if we are grabbing a quick bite to eat and need to google something. We don't randomly use phones and ignore each other.

Coffee and papers in a cafe - probably don't chat that much.

Dinner, might take a while to warm up but then we can chat away.

We talk or sit in companionable silence. No phones at the table, ever.

About 15 months before XH left me for OW, we went out for lunch on our wedding anniversary. It was excruciating. I desperately tried to make conversation with a man who had none. "How can I spend the rest of my life married to someone with no chat?", I remember thinking.

Luckily, I don't have to, but it was yet another red flag I ignored.

We talk about everything while out for a meal. We laugh a lot, flirt, gossip, joke, and generally have a proper catch up of whatever's going on in our lives. Sometimes we'll discuss random world events and he always surprises me with the things he knows.

Other times I like to sit quietly, maybe link my index finger with his pinky and just enjoy sitting beside him. It always feels like a treat.

My boyfriend used to play on his phone and once even answered a call while we were eating. I told him it was so rude and he hasn't answered a call since or played on his phone.

We're quite good at keeping up a conversation but I've noticed sometimes when we're sat around other couples they don't say a word to each other.

I think it depends where you are in the relationship. We've been together 4 years and I suppose couples just starting out, although you'd think they have a lot to talk about because they're getting to know each other, might be a bit nervous and unsure about what to talk about.

I think you should say something about the phone thing though. It's just so rude.

We don't sit in silence, but there is not free-flowing conversation either. This is one of my biggest bug bears in my relationship with DP - he is not a big talker or conversationalist.

It's fine at home as he shows his love, affection and character in lots of other ways, and we do laugh together a lot. When we have something specific to talk about, we can sit down and talk for ages.

But when it comes to restaurants, where it's a more artificial environment and you sort of have to get conversation going and run with it, sustained chat just does not happen and I have to make most of the effort.

It used to really bother me, but I have mostly got used to it and accepted it is just the way DP is. I've told him how I feel about it, and he does sort of make the effort, but just not very well.

I can put up with it because I have good friends I can have nice long rambly discussions with in pubs and restaurants instead of DP, really. And he has other good qualities to balance out his lack of interest in conversation for conversation's sake.

Yes. We chat. We've only been together 2 years.

But I chat with the kids at the table, my mom, whoever I'm eating with.

An ability to chat was one of my key criteria when I was dating

He sounds rude and dull op

Meal times are precisely the times we do chat - even more so if out for a meal, but nobody in our house would be so rude as to be looking at a phone or any other screen during a meal - mealtimes are for conversation as much as food IMO.