Honestly, when you go out for a meal..

[obviouslyneedsupernanny]

Not necessarily anywhere special, even just breakfast in a cafe, is there much conversation over the meal? Basic small talk, actual interesting conversation, or total silence?

No! That would be the death knell.

Imagine what it would be like in a few years if he can't be arsed to converse with you after 7 months.

With DH Yes, we talk a lot. We often gossip as we both avoid doing this with other people but both love gossip. With my friends, yes we chat too. Have you tried asking him about this or saying it bothers you?

It can vary enormously, depending on how tired we are, or if we have had a particularly shattering time parenting and are still rather raw ofor shell shocked. Lately I've discovered it helps if we can walk or get a cab and gave a few drinks! An afternoon nap helps me, too!

Some people are brought up not to talk at the dinner table and they find it hard to break that habit.

My H was like that. He said when they were kids if you spoke at the table his dad would hit you

Apart from eating out together, does he talk easily at other times? In the pub, having a walk, in the car?

I'd say that if you can't find anything to talk about, you aren't really compatible.
My ex used to bring a book when we went to the pub! Glad he's now an ex!

Not a good sign 7 months in! He sounds dull company, and rude.

No that's plain rude. Don't put up with it.

There's a huge difference between not talking at the dinner table because you were brought up that way, and ignoring your partner over dinner while you arse around with your mobile phone.

When we are out having a meal neither of us look at our phones, we both share that pet hate, we talk apart from when we are actually eating.

Oh God, bloody phones. OH have to have ours on because of the kids. But they are not otherwise looked at.

My hubby and I have been together for 9 years now and one of the things that gets me down sometimes is that we run out of conversation over dinner if we eat out. We both have different jobs, his only interest is football which I am not interested in and we don't have any children to talk about.

OH and I ...

Left to myself, I'd be quite happy to fill up any space for conversation. I've learnt, though, a few questions that I can ask, which reliably lead to interesting conversations, so long as I remember to keep quiet til my companion has worked out what to say.

I think introverts tend not to mind lack of conversation so much. Id rather talk than eat, if it comes it it, but I enjoy listening to interesting stuff even more. HTH.

Yes, we talk a lot about things in the news or politics or people we know. He tells me about the people he talks to in work, I tell him random crap I read on the internet.

Honestly OP, I once dated a man for about 6 months, and he would spend all his time reading newspapers or on the phone in my company. It didn't work out and I really think that was a key reason.

My ex was like this. It was torture.
We once sat in a bar for 3 hours saying nothing, and this was on holiday in a far flung destination do its not like there was nothing to say.
Other times we'd sit in the pub and he'd watch football while I say like a lemon. He'd actually shush me if I tried to talk

Note he's an ex.

Don't waste years of your life with nothing in common like I did.

Yes. We talk about things we've seen, read, done at work, what people we know have done, make plans, talk about DS, the food we're eating.

That's rude op.

So when do you talk then?

I used to waitress and it was so desperately sad to see all the couples who came for dinner and then just sat in silence

The worst was valentines day, tables and tables of silent couples

yes, we still talk. DH is still the best dinner date. I do sometimes have to start things off with a conversation opener if he's got his "distracted by complex work stuff" face on, but generally we can find things to chat about. He finds it harder in groups as he's rather shy/socially akward, but not with me.

Looking at his phone rather than you is rather crap.

Yes we chat, more so while we're waiting. But there are lots of comfortable silences, usually while we are actually eating and able to savour our food/enjoy eating without ds chittering or asking for things, the cat trying to sneak food of our plates and the dog crying from the kitchen. I'm the chatty one, dp can be very quiet. But if we're having a drink, he opens up and I can't get a word in edgewise

Yes, we chat. There's always something to talk about. News, current events, the kids, my mother , what we'd do with a lottery win (we don't even play it) although that always ends in a row. For the lottery that we don't even play.

and then there's all the really really daft conversations you can have with someone.

Does your boyfriend chat with you at other times? Is it just restaurants that he is silent in? Is he shy? I know some people feel shy if they think others can overhear them or they are being loud. I know it's a restaurant not a library but still.

Looking at his phone (if continual), just screams I'd rather be anywhere else than here with you.

Have you told him how you feel and asked him why chatting is hard for him in that situation?

I'd dump a man who didn't talk to me at the dinner table.

QueenBean - that is so sad.