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Original poster

Feel bit annoyed but maybe harmless lads banter? DH

99 replies

sillyornot · 03/03/2015 20:58

Ok first thing out the way - I read dh text. He has been away at work and there was banter on there about how hot the woman was who was taking their course.. look at her tits etc.

So he goes away again this week so I need to look. Says to the person who is already at the course "any hotties there?"

No grief over reading the texts please but just debating. harmless lad banter, after all I would say to a friend oh he is nice looking etc or more?

OP posts:
flora717 · 03/03/2015 21:00

Yuck. But then I wouldn't be asking if someone is good looking.

BathtimeFunkster · 03/03/2015 21:00

He sounds like a total dick.

Did you know he was such a knobhead when you married him?

BolshierAyraStark · 03/03/2015 21:02

Hmmm, not sure harmless is the correct term for this particular banter-nice tits, really? Hmm

BolshierAyraStark · 03/03/2015 21:03

Sorry, look at her tits-just bleurgh.

ZombieZoo · 03/03/2015 21:05

Awful! I wouldn't like that or be attracted to someone like that

AnyFucker · 03/03/2015 21:07

Oh dear.

Fallen off his pedestal has he ? What a juvenile twat. I would be horrified if I found evidence of my H talking like that.

AnyFucker · 03/03/2015 21:08

An minute now some manpleaser will come on and say "just be thankful he is a redblooded male, all men are like this"

they are not

Joysmum · 03/03/2015 21:09

I'd be annoyed too. I don't like the trend of women objectifying men any more than I like men objectifying women.

AnyFucker · 03/03/2015 21:12

hey, Joy. Where were you when I was getting it in the neck on the "wa=heyyyy, younger man" thread ? Smile

AnnieMorel · 03/03/2015 21:16

He sounds like a complete idiot.

Never in a million years would my H say something so moronic.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 03/03/2015 21:20

I suspect dh would have said moronic stuff like that -

  • when he was 15.
Not since he grew up though...
Original poster
sillyornot · 03/03/2015 21:21

Thing is he is a really nice guy, great dad and thoughtful dh.
Is it really that bad?
Is it the same as me for instance going out and finding someone attractive and commenting to a friend? We all do it don't we?
Aren't men just more laddy with their comments?

:(

OP posts:
cleanmyhouse · 03/03/2015 21:23

Yeah, guys can be total dicks sometimes.

My ex was lovely and sensitive and enlightened and thoughtful blah blah, and then I heard a story about him talking to his mates in the pub. He sounded like a proper blokey wanker.

AnyFucker · 03/03/2015 21:24

I don't think it's a LTB crime if he is otherwise an A-ok guy, but if this were my DH I would have to tell him I saw the comments and that he had massively taken a nose dive in my estimation.

JassyRadlett · 03/03/2015 21:30

If by 'harmless lad banter' you mean 'disgusting sexist twattery', then yes.

On a work course? Seriously?

And even in a bar - do you go round commenting on the apparent size of a man's penis?

Original poster
sillyornot · 03/03/2015 21:30

Honestly he is a fab husband but just didn't like it when I saw it and feel annoyed he is asking if there are any nice looking people where he is going to, why should it matter!
I have also heard hd chatting to mates on the phone and he goes more blokey but obviously not this kind of chat. Suppose I just feel paranoid now as he is away all week.

OP posts:
JohnFarleysRuskin · 03/03/2015 21:31

He's just being a twat. I'd tell him tho.

AnyFucker · 03/03/2015 21:33

You feel paranoid now because of his behaviour.

I would call him and tell him you have seen the texts. Spoil his week, like he has spoiled yours. I'm a bitch though.

cleanmyhouse · 03/03/2015 21:36

Either that, or talk loudly about a neighbour/colleague/waiter/wotevs enormous lunchbox to one of your mates. Say "Phwoar, look at the size of that trouser snake" and "Cor blimey, that's big enough to make your eyes water".

He probably won't get the message, because he won't know you've seen his text, but you'll have a good laugh objectifying some bloke. I mean it's all harmless fun right?

And once you've made a big deal of it all being harmless fun, tell him you've seen the texts.

Original poster
sillyornot · 03/03/2015 21:36

Lol! Yep you are right as to why I feel it.

Jassay - he is on a course. I expect you think he is away with the lads?

OP posts:
MrsWolowitz · 03/03/2015 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheCraicDealer · 03/03/2015 21:40

My boyfriend of four years and his colleagues get on like this all the time. They have discussions over which of the civilian women they'd shag if they had to and in what order, in a life or death situation, who has the best boobs, if their boss got laid at the weekend...there's literally nothing off limits. Most of the 'offenders' are married with children, they egg each other on. I don't let it bother me, I have no desire to listen to it but I know it's all chat and a source of amusement rather than reality. He's forces but I've seen it in places (banks, shops, insurance co's...) and other men I've worked with and have got on with. It's a lot to do with the culture of the workplace in parts I suppose; if it's laddish or very laid back and ribald then you see more of it. But I'm not sure it's much different to me saying to my (female) colleagues about the men I know through work and fancy the pants off, or keeping my workmate going about having a fictitious affair with a builder we use occasionally, or asking if there's anyone lush on that training course you go to. To say it's not normal isn't really representative.

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 03/03/2015 21:41

She is there to do a job and all he and his mates can do is ogle her? What kind of professional setting is this?

He should be ashamed of himself and questioning how he values women's contribution to society

MrsWolowitz · 03/03/2015 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
sillyornot · 03/03/2015 21:42

Am I not crazy to think that most men talk like that between themselves? I imagine we don't know as we are not there and not on their texts etc. Any men on here?
We don't say about the size of a guys bits as its not how we talk is it? I wouldn't be attracted or bothered by that but a handsome face :)

Not making excuses but really trying to debate it and decide in my own mind...

OP posts:
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