Is 9 years too big an age gap?

[penguinplease]

I've been seeing a younger man for 6 months. He is perfect, if I had ordered a man to be delivered he is it.
But we have 9 years between us and it's stressing me out!
He isn't bothered, says age is just a number etc, well it is when you are his age but I feel like it's wrong?!

What do you all think? I never imagined we'd get serious so wasn't bothered before but we are going very strong with no signs of any cracks and I'm worried , maybe I owe it to him to let him go?

Do these relationships work??

I'm 7 years older than my DH. We've been married very happily for 25 years.
[shrug]

There are 9 years between my mum and dad and they have been married for nearly 30 years. So yes it does work why throw something away if its good?

The only possible issue would be to do with having children, as your timescales will vary.

I'm nine (nearly 10) years younger than my dh and it has never been a problem, coming up to 14 happy years now. Never really cared what anyone else thinks - it's my relationship, not theirs. Stop worrying and enjoy

DH is 8 years older than me. No age related issues whatsoever. Enjoy it

DH is 9 years older than me, 7 years and 2 children later things are working well!
I think it depends on the people as well as the ages though. I don't think if I was 27 I would be happy going out with an 18 year old, whereas if I was 39 I would have no problem going out with a 30 year old!

I don't think it is, at all.

But I agree about the children thing. A friend had a partner who was about nine years younger than her, and he was of the view that he'd like children "one day". Sadly time ran out for her before that day came.

But having said that, that probably reflects more on him as a person than his age, so go for it!

Do you want kids?
Does he want kids?
That could be a timetabling issue! Other than that, you know, go ahead, be happy!

I think if the man is older it's much more acceptable though isn't it?!

He would like children but it isn't a deal breaker for him, I already have them.

I wonder if people judge when they see us together! I'm finding it way more of a deal than he is.

I'm 6 years older than Dh and its never been a problem.

The only slight issue was planning a Dc, we only waited 3 years into the relationship purely down to my age and me worrying about my bio clock ticking.

We've been together 10 years so we're doing something right!

My cousin is married to a man she met when she was 38 and he was 26. they agonised about it for a bit because she needed to have kids pretty soon, and he would have preferred to do it later, but of course he realised that wasn't an option and he loved her, so they went for it.
They have 2 kids now. It's funny, because when you look at them together, it doesn't look odd. She is very youthful, and loves to go out dancing etc, and he is a bit of a geeky type young fogey. he is definitely the over anxious parent while she gets to be the cool one!

I say, if he is the one, then he is the one. And anyway, 9 years isn't that much when you are 79, he will be 70. Feh!

DP (9 years older) and I have been together 22 years.

He already had 3DCs and we went on to have 2 more.

No issues (related to age that is)

Anyway, as far as being the older woman and what people think. That's why God invented Botox. Isn't it?

23 years here

Depends.

20 + 11 - Yep.

20 + 29 - Not really.

Ha well it's actually 28 and 37

My DH was 20 and I was 27.

We loved each other. We didn't especially give a shit what people thought.

And tbh if you are worrying about what others think of your relationship it's worth remembering that most of them probably don't think about it at all.
I can't remember the last time I spent any time at all wondering about other people relationships and their relative ages. No one cares really .
That's as it should be.

I think once the younger one gets over 25 there's not much in a 5 - 10 age difference. Assuming him being older does not mean he comes with too much baggage.

My Grandparents had a 10 year age difference, in that my Grandmother was older.

Didn't stop my Grandfather dying first tho'

He has no baggage, he is everything I could ever wish for. I have plenty of baggage, he isn't remotely bothered.

It's only me with the problem isn't it!

penguin - Yes it is. Again, you're over 25 not 14!

It's just the younger man stigma that worries me and how can I be what he wants when he has so much going for him and I have baggage and complications!

Stop worrying penguin. I already had 3 Dc before i met Dh and thought it would just be a fun fling.

I never imagined we'd get married and have our own Dc!

Dh is definitely more of an old fart than me and has far less energy, so age means nothing

10 years between my parents
40 years this year,

Does he want kids? That's the only potential sticking point.