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Relationships

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Original poster

He didn't wish me a Happy Valentines...

115 replies

HermoineWeasley · 15/02/2015 16:55

He didn't wish me a Happy Valentines, or anything. We've been dating a few months so it's our first valentines.

He gave me a gift a few days ago because our anniversary falls in the same month but that's it. It wasn't wrapped or anything. It was a watch I wanted. And said this is a valentine/anniversary present.

He didn't have to do anything major yesterday. Maybe a card or even a Happy Valentines Day message. He says he doesn't believe in it. I ended up going out with my friends during the day before they had plans for evening with their partners. Even the guy at the place we ate at wished me a Happy Valentines.

I'm a big old romantic, he isn't by the way things are going. All my friends got flowers and got taken out. I got nothing. I believe the watch was more of a anniversary present than a valentines. He just thought he'd give it early so it looks like both.

For my birthday, he bought me flowers but that's it really. Didn't take me out, whereas I was planning this whole thing for his birthday but I didn't end up doing it as I thought I'm putting in too much effort.

Am I being unreasonable? I like showing acts of love and affectionate. He's not one those to go out of his way for me.
Like I always travel to him as he hates driving. Not once except for our first date, has he come to my area.

Maybe he's not into me as he thinks he is? But when we had a fight and I needed space, he got really upset and confessed how much he likes me and how upset he is that I'm not talking to him and that I'm the one. So I don't know really

OP posts:

Original poster

HermoineWeasley · 15/02/2015 17:27

I told him I did believe in it but boring extravagant. I just think the whole idea is cute. I told him that on Wednesday. He ignored me.

OP posts:

Original poster

HermoineWeasley · 15/02/2015 17:27

*nothing! Not boring

OP posts:

TokenGinger · 15/02/2015 17:28

What rumred says!

I told the guy I'm dating I had little interest in going out but it would be important to me to have the evening in together. But that's more so because he was on holiday last week, and the weekend prior to that we'd had clashing plans x

Original poster

HermoineWeasley · 15/02/2015 17:29

Sassy - maybe, probably because what I give and do and say equates to my love.

OP posts:

Cantbelievethisishappening · 15/02/2015 17:31

Valentines is a pile of shite. Are you REALLY this upset over it?
I dont understand this 11 month anniversary thing though.... wouldn't it make more sense to hold out until a year?

SassyPasty · 15/02/2015 17:35

Sassy - maybe, probably because what I give and do and say equates to my love.

And that's fine but you maybe with somebody who doesn't feel that gifts = love (although he has bought you flowers and a lovely watch and spent heaps on meals) Instead, he shows you he loves you by the 5am texts, the chats every day etc I know which I'd rather have

Original poster

HermoineWeasley · 15/02/2015 17:36

Well I'm upset because it's the first one and I thought we would celebrate it.

Well he's the one who gave the anniversary present early. Our anniversary isn't until another two weeks.
I think he thought he could do a 2 for 1 deal.

OP posts:

sanfairyanne · 15/02/2015 17:42

so long as he wasnt out celebrating it with his other girlfriend/wife?

merlehaggard · 15/02/2015 17:44

What can'tbelieve said.

TokenGinger · 15/02/2015 17:44

#facepalm

There's always one who has to add in an extra layer of insecurity.

Not every man needs to get his dick wet in more than one place.

SassyPasty · 15/02/2015 17:46

You really are starting to sound like a grabby princess now

If Valentine's Day was so important to you, why didn't you book a table somewhere, send him a lovely text saying 'meet me at x at 7.30pm' But no, the onus was on him to surprise you

LineRunner · 15/02/2015 17:46

Well I guess you just aren't compatible.

Thudercatsrule · 15/02/2015 17:47

I don't understand why you are upset? He told you he didn't believe in it, so why wd he acknowledge it?

If you are a big old romantic why didn't you arrange something special to show him how much you like valentines day?

Not buying you gifts for valentines or just flowers for your birthday doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

Is this how you feel, or how your friends feel?

stevienickstophat · 15/02/2015 17:50

If you don't like him the way he is after a year, maybe he's not the one for you.

People don't change that much, OP.

He hasn't done anything wrong, but I think you two use different love languages. It's really interesting, that. Love Languages. Google it.

Brandnewattitude · 15/02/2015 17:52

I'd be more concerned that he wanted to pack on a Saturday night for a holiday on Monday rather than spend the evening with you. Who packs on a Saturday night?! Valentine's or not.

Cantbelievethisishappening · 15/02/2015 17:52

He didn't wish you Happy Valentines ffs. Call me a bitter old cynic but I am struggling to understand why you are getting bent out of shape over (from what I can see) nothing at all.
You are comparing your r'ship to your friends who are currently lost in action underneath 1000 red roses and choking on Ferrero Rocher.

Perhaps you have been spending to much time on Netflix.

Come back from Cupidville and perhaps look at what you DO like/love about this fella.

Original poster

HermoineWeasley · 15/02/2015 17:54

Sassy - I do book tables etc. But they are always near him. If you read my previous post. I didn't want to book a table near me as I don't think he would travel plus he told he didn't celebrate it on Wednesday and when I told him I did and how cute it is, he ignored me. He would have got annoyed if I booked a table anyway.

I don't expect a lot from him. What he gives, I give back. I'm not materialistic etc.

All I wanted was to spend a evening yesterday with him. Or Happy Valentines, I love you. Anything!

On my Facebook, snapchats etc there were pictures of rose's, chocolates, cards, meals out. I think I just hurt me abit, when I'm a romantic myself.

I think I felt lonely, that all my friends were out with their partners and I was sat at home in my pjs by myself.

OP posts:

Original poster

HermoineWeasley · 15/02/2015 17:56

He decided to pack yesterday as he had to go to his friends down south today as they travelling from Heathrow.

OP posts:

stevienickstophat · 15/02/2015 17:57

Do you love him, OP?

If you told him how you feel, would he listen?

Do you feel able to talk to him about how you feel?

These are the important questions.

AgathaF · 15/02/2015 17:57

I think I'm just upset that I'm the only one out of all my friends that didn't get anything valentine and got taken out. It's because I'm a romantic

Is it? Or is it because you are competitive and want to have what your friends have, or better than?

Valentine's is nothing more than commercial shite. Love should be shown year round. If it is, then Valentine's matters not a jot. If it isn't, then you have something to worry about.

TBH I'd be more concerned about the driving to his area all the time. To me, that smacks of you putting in the legwork and him chucking money at it.

Original poster

HermoineWeasley · 15/02/2015 17:59

Maybe I am being unreasonable and we are just both different in that aspect.

I'm a very giving person, to my friends and family. For birthdays, weddings etc.

I just assumed that my partner would be the same.

This is my first serious relationship by the way. I'm 27. I've had a few before but they never lasted long as I've done alot of travelling and life got in the way.

OP posts:

ImCatbug · 15/02/2015 18:00

I'm a total romantic, cards and gifts and flowers and everything. DH is not, he thinks cards are pointless and has bought me flowers maybe twice in 7 years? So I buy him loads of stuff and he doesn't do the same for me.
But I've never once thought that he wasn't into me or didn't care about me because of lack of gifts, it's just not his thing.
We totally forgot it was Valentine's Day yesterday, but we don't celebrate it anyway because 1) he doesn't care and 2) our anniversary is mid-March so it seems silly to us to have a big romantic celebration twice in a month, we'd rather not buy v day crap and spend more on a nicer thing for our anniversary.
I think if your anniversary is 2 weeks away it's not unreasonable for him to not want to do 2 lots of gifts (especially as he doesn't believe in Valentine's day)

SassyPasty · 15/02/2015 18:00

You do realise that the card shops were full of blokes saying 'ffs, I better get a card else the Mrs won't speak to me for a week' and not 'oh happy days, thank goodness it is Valentine's Day so that I can buy a card for the love of my life'.

He told you he didn't believe in it - if you find that so hard to bear then you should finish it and find someone who does like to celebrate it. He might, of course, be an utter prick the other 364 days but yay, Valentine's Day you can be JUST like your friends and put it on Facebook and everything ...

AgathaF · 15/02/2015 18:02

Sassy .

Original poster

HermoineWeasley · 15/02/2015 18:03

Stevienick -

Yes I love him. We have a lot in common other wise and we want the same things in life.

He would listen but he's stubborn and I would have to just accept things.

Most things but not his non romantic side. I think he'd get annoyed.

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