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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does my boyfriend actually love me?

78 replies

Doesheactuallylikeme · 14/02/2015 13:15

Bit of background. Bit long, sorry.

DP and I have been together 5 months. He and I were friends at work, he has a toddler DD with his ex. We started to get close when he and his ex were going through a tough time. She was jealous of the time he spent with me, but I didn't really care about that so I saw him more.
When they split up, I invited him to live with me. I live in a lovely expensive house which is quite out of the way, and as he doesn't drive I said I would drive him to and from work each day. We split all the bills exactly down the middle. I didn't want to be hanging around waiting though so I made him swap his shifts to that it was easier for me.
For the first few months we lived together I was still in regular contact with my ex, and was going out for meals with him texting, speaking every day, and he was visiting me at home whilst (now) DP was seeing his DD, but I didn't tell him that. Nothing ever happened with me and (now DP) despite spending all of our time together when he wasn't with DD. Not even a drunken kiss, despite me sitting on his lap a lot when I'm drunk. He doesn't really have any other friends apart from me, and we only ever hang out with his parents.
I'll be honest, I call the shots, for example I've made him walk home when he's refused to leave his ex's house at the time I wanted (his DD was only 4 months when he left so that's why he sees her for a couple of hours a week there) on Mother's Day I turned up an hour early to pick him up because I didn't want him spending any longer than he needed to there.
Last Summer, he and his ex started getting close again, spending more time together, and he told me they were sleeping together again etc so I decided the time was right for me to tell him I like him. We got together and have been together since. I told him I loved him after a month and he said it back. I still drive him everywhere but have told him he needs to learn to drive himself.
I have just found out that he said he would go out with work people tonight. The plans fell through so he is cooking me dinner but I still don't like the fact that he said he would go and hadn't planned anything in advance.

He said he loved me this morning but I'm not sure. What do you all think?
Thanks.

OP posts:
QueenMas · 14/02/2015 13:19

This must be a wind up, surely.

basgetti · 14/02/2015 13:19

I think he should run a mile.

Reekypear · 14/02/2015 13:20

I say it's a mess.

I say you deserve better and are settling for sloppy seconds.

He is not over his ex.

Move on.

Pippin8 · 14/02/2015 13:20

Seriously?
Sounds like he's in fear of you & you're a bit of a control freak.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 14/02/2015 13:23

I think you should stop bullying the poor bastard and let him go find a life. If he said he loved you it's probably because he's terrified.

Ilovemybedbaby · 14/02/2015 13:24

U are far to controlling, sounds like your acting like his mother!

AddToBasket · 14/02/2015 13:24

You are a control freak. If he were my friend I'd be helping him leave you.

Doesheactuallylikeme · 14/02/2015 13:25

But then why does he live with me and continue to be my boyfriend then?

OP posts:
WaxOnWaxOff · 14/02/2015 13:26

Is this some kind of reverse - are you the ex?

Finola1step · 14/02/2015 13:26

This must be some kind of weird reverse.

SoulSista85 · 14/02/2015 13:27

It sounds like you have some serious problems here.

CONTROL FREAK is right at the top of the list.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 14/02/2015 13:27

Too many funny threads happening this week. I'm out....

Finola1step · 14/02/2015 13:28

Or the OP is a dear, kind old mumsnet friend who wishes to send everyone into a lather on this fine day.

Bifauxnen · 14/02/2015 13:29

you offered him a place to stay when he had nowhere to go. That's why he's living with you.
Does he even know that you think he's your boyfriend?

NoArmaniNoPunani · 14/02/2015 13:31

Is this a film plot?

SolomanDaisy · 14/02/2015 13:35

Presumably this is a reverse and you're the ex. Or something. It's not a convincing piece of writing anyway.

KIrsty7318 · 14/02/2015 13:36

Look at it from his point of view. He has got it made, he gets to live in a lovely house with a live-in chauffeur and sex on tap, and can play 'disney dad' at weekends! Of course he is going to stay! He would be a fool not to!

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 14/02/2015 13:37

He should run for the hills.

ImperialBlether · 14/02/2015 13:38

It's a reverse thread. Why don't you tell us the proper story, in your own words?

Lweji · 14/02/2015 13:39

Is this a reverse thread? Confused

LTPB
(leave the poor bastard)

Pippin8 · 14/02/2015 13:39

You're driving him everywhere & he gets to live in your nice expensive house. Presumably he gets sex on tap too? So, Why not?

AnyFucker · 14/02/2015 13:40

I am not replying until you tell us who you are in this "story"

Bifauxnen · 14/02/2015 13:42

" Nothing ever happened with me and (now DP) despite spending all of our time together when he wasn't with DD. Not even a drunken kiss, despite me sitting on his lap a lot when I'm drunk."

you don't need to presume stuff when it's written in the OP.

Brandnewattitude · 14/02/2015 13:47

I'm confused. He moved in with you but you weren't even a couple. Are you a couple now? By your own admission, you are not very nice to him. What's the point?

silveroldie2 · 14/02/2015 13:49

If this is a reverse OP, and you are the male in this 'relationship' I would advise you get the hell out now.

If you are the female - you need to stop the controlling behaviour.

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