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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does my boyfriend actually love me?

78 replies

Doesheactuallylikeme · 14/02/2015 13:15

Bit of background. Bit long, sorry.

DP and I have been together 5 months. He and I were friends at work, he has a toddler DD with his ex. We started to get close when he and his ex were going through a tough time. She was jealous of the time he spent with me, but I didn't really care about that so I saw him more.
When they split up, I invited him to live with me. I live in a lovely expensive house which is quite out of the way, and as he doesn't drive I said I would drive him to and from work each day. We split all the bills exactly down the middle. I didn't want to be hanging around waiting though so I made him swap his shifts to that it was easier for me.
For the first few months we lived together I was still in regular contact with my ex, and was going out for meals with him texting, speaking every day, and he was visiting me at home whilst (now) DP was seeing his DD, but I didn't tell him that. Nothing ever happened with me and (now DP) despite spending all of our time together when he wasn't with DD. Not even a drunken kiss, despite me sitting on his lap a lot when I'm drunk. He doesn't really have any other friends apart from me, and we only ever hang out with his parents.
I'll be honest, I call the shots, for example I've made him walk home when he's refused to leave his ex's house at the time I wanted (his DD was only 4 months when he left so that's why he sees her for a couple of hours a week there) on Mother's Day I turned up an hour early to pick him up because I didn't want him spending any longer than he needed to there.
Last Summer, he and his ex started getting close again, spending more time together, and he told me they were sleeping together again etc so I decided the time was right for me to tell him I like him. We got together and have been together since. I told him I loved him after a month and he said it back. I still drive him everywhere but have told him he needs to learn to drive himself.
I have just found out that he said he would go out with work people tonight. The plans fell through so he is cooking me dinner but I still don't like the fact that he said he would go and hadn't planned anything in advance.

He said he loved me this morning but I'm not sure. What do you all think?
Thanks.

OP posts:
Lweji · 14/02/2015 22:24

I think you could open her eyes to her behaviour as well as to his.
Be there for her, but point out how else she could have gone about it.
You don't need to make her feel bad, but hopefully think about it so that she doesn't repeat it with someone else.

MildDrPepperAddiction · 14/02/2015 22:33

You sound scary. He needs to cut you loose.

Lweji · 14/02/2015 23:30

And you need to RTFT, Mild.

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