depressed about sex life after talking to friends

[daffodiljar]

We were having a conversation about Valentines day and they ended up sharing details of their sex life which quite frankly is much more adventurous than mine. I was quite happy with how things are with me and DH but now I feel quite depressed. I think I would be mortified presenting DH with a cock ring etc. Am I a prude?

Poor old queenofhearts - bet she is always feigning headaches

Op don't worry about it, I think sex in a lasting partnership goes up and down. DH and I are in a very dry spell due to pregnancy and a toddler - I've got friends younger than me with toddlers sleeping in separate beds as they are so shattered!

It will come back and we are both happy and have lots of kisses/cuddles.

I'm not massaging his prostate any time soon. He'd be horrified! We are extremely vanilla!

I guess some people are just more highly sexed!

OP - don't listen to it or worry about it.

Gilbert - very wise words

King of Hearts - your sex life is so great that you need to spend more than your Tesco bill on stuff to spice it up? Hmm.

If you are getting pleasure from your sex life all is good. I stopped talking about my sex life about 20 years ago (when I told my mates that my then boyfriend had an anal probe. They looked shocked and all said they could never look at him in the same way again).
Personally I like plain old sex. Only even used my rabbit once or twice then took the batteries out to put in a Thomas the tank engine toy.

No, not everyone is spicing it up, not at all!

Plenty of us have brilliant sex lives with no need for anything other than (pretty fantastic) vanilla sex

I don't think the use of sex toys indicates more highly sexed or not really.

Becoming dependent on them though, must be like putting ketchup all over your food. A little bit if you're having chips may be nice. All the time? yeuch.

Oh thank you all I feel so much better. Sorry gilbert I really appreciated your comment too. TBH the idea of sticking anything up DHs bottom fills me with horror and I have visions of the cock ring getting stuck on his penis and cutting off the circulation.

Don't be depressed be happy you have such a fantastic sex life that you don't need all that stuff.
My dh and I have used toys but we found that just using our bodies (lips, tongue, you get the drift) is enough and are incredibly happy with our sex life.

Team Vanilla here too. I would actually be a touch offended if DH asked for toys where the sun doesn't shine. Although we have a small person so sex (and sleep) are always welcome.

Some grand advice from MNetters as ever and also reassured me!

I had to have a rectal examination recently. It found it a much overrated experience! After that, I'm not spending good money on a prostate massager

If you enjoy your sex life why are you bothered what others do? Fuck it literally if it's good it's good, doesn't matter how you do it, as long as it does it for you. Comparison of anything can always make you feel inadequate, if you let it...

TBH if you talk about your sex life to others you've got to make it sound really good (or really bad if doing a reverse).

"I would fret far too much about how to wash up anything that had been up an arse."

Yes, I don't think my integrated dishwasher has a place setting for prostate massagers.

I know this is a naive question, but what is Vanilla sex, and also a paddle? The mind boggles.

Are these your friends?

Tedious adventurous couple

Many people are just simply scared of sex, regardless how long they have been with their partner they dont seem to be comfortable/confident about it.
If you can break through that barrier, you wonder why it ever took so long.

kingofhearts do you get your sunday roast at lovehoney?!

TRex

I know a fireman who had to cut a cock ring off a man's willy after it got stuck. Be careful what you wish for.

Gilbert - be like me, just blather on not worrying whether anyone reads it or not!

AFAIC those that insist on 'showing off' about their sex lives are either bigging it up or insecure in their marriage. I knew this couple that were forever banging on about how wonderful it all was, TMI most of the time... cock rings, sex toys etc. They'd been married for 30 years and she told me that she never tired of one of the 99 ways he used to give her oral. They split up shortly after.

I want to google prostate massager but bit scared to do so....

My friend who always used to blather on about her amazing sex life recently admitted that they hardly do it any more.

It's swings and roundabouts in a long term relationship ! Honestly over sharing is totally gross I really don't want to know what they're all doing, we very rarely talk about it because it is private !!

I'm happy with the stuff we do but I accept that at the moment - I'm pregnant, it can't be as frequent as we'd like. It will pick up again, just not right now !

If you're happy and so is your dh there really is nothing to be depressed about. !