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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dear VNXH

502 replies

WellWhoKnew · 11/02/2015 15:55

Dear VNXH,

I am pondering about pondersome things. What are you doing, I ponder?

The SHL is contemplating the latest bit of fuckwittery from a legaltastic viewpoint.

I merely remain navel gaze in a reflective sort of manner. My mind continually mulls over and over, in a ruminatory sort of manner.

I am pleased to report that fuck all has happened to day except I got on with some shit.

Woman, thoughtful.

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 17/03/2015 17:14

What???!!???

acatcalledjohn · 17/03/2015 17:14

You really need to write & publish that book, WWK. It'll make a good income for a while. Use that money to retrain as an SHL, and then live comfortably on the salary associated with the role of an SHL.

Mr SW would hate that Grin.

acatcalledjohn · 17/03/2015 17:16

X-post. What the feck?

Mmmbacon · 17/03/2015 17:17

What¿

yougotafriend · 17/03/2015 17:19

And........????

WellWhoKnew · 17/03/2015 17:20

So I told them I would take the 'hit' on the capital, if he'd realise cash funds today, or at least this month. He just needs to tell us how much he has available.

And so off SHB went to do her thing in the corridor.

OP posts:
piggychops · 17/03/2015 17:22

I don't understand...how is he allowed to break the rules by taking advice from his legal team and no-one seems to care??

Kundry · 17/03/2015 17:24

Delurks to wonder if your thread will make it into Most Visited on my browser, am refreshing so much!

AcrossthePond55 · 17/03/2015 17:38

Sooo, less capital for full disclosure AND immediate funds?

You really know yourself and what's important to you WWK. I admire that!

LadyTmalia · 17/03/2015 17:39

Im starting to feel a little sad, I hope you havent been let down by your SHL and SHB and GG x

AcrossthePond55 · 17/03/2015 17:39

PS I think DH thinks I'm watching porn. I keep refreshing, hyperventilating, and fanning myself.

I don't dare tell him what it is that really has me excited!

Holdthepage · 17/03/2015 17:40

I wonder if Mr SW walked into a bear trap?

WellWhoKnew · 17/03/2015 17:41

Piggy I also remarked something similar. But, sometimes, you just gotta go with it. He's broken all the rules all the way through. It's distracting but it's not the main issue.

Fairness is always subjective. Justice never is.

So today, I broke the rules. Firstly, by commenting on a legal system in progress. Secondly, by insisting on an FDR. When GG was clearly left, at taxpayer's expense (something I take very seriously), twiddling his thumbs - because aside from an 'emergency hearing' first thing, we had him to ourselves all day. This is not usual in an FDR day - usually, you 'share' the judge with lots of other 'unhappily married people'.

Just sometimes, you gotta allow the system to do what systems do best: malfunction.

And so SHB went to see the other side.

And came back with a cash offer, without interfering with the offer on the table.

But it didn't work for me.

And on, and on, and on, and on. The offers didn't work for me.

And frequently GG got bored threatening to haul us in to court.

And frequently SHB, quite exasperatedly kept saying: we are narrowing. We're getting close.

And GG got increasingly angry with WWK.

And GG kept reminding the SHB that unless her client started to co-operate he'd take over proceedings and she'd be lucky to get the offer on the table.

And so, finally, just after noon, the exhausted SHB was sent out for a final time with WWK's final thoughts on the matter. Which, quite frankly, was ridiculous.

To come back with an offer, which works for me.

And, I also get his offer of yesterday. Completely.

And so with that, the utterly frustrated SHB went before the exasperated GG to say:

We had agreed terms. We would be back shortly with a consent order.

GG asked and 'exactly what are those terms?'

To which SHB replied. In her own way.

And with that Grumpy Gudge threw his head back and laughed.

“Bloody hell, the wife’s done well”

And Now I know: the judge was wrong. The ex-wife IS Well.

But he is not to know.

OP posts:
Gozogozo · 17/03/2015 17:45

Hurray hurray hurray!

DPotter · 17/03/2015 17:46

There's need's to be book rights, film rights and an application to be the next director general of the UN following this. When the shit hits the fan I want you on my side WWK

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 17/03/2015 17:46

:o amazing! Flowers

DazeyandConfused · 17/03/2015 17:47

Applause. Take a bow my dear. x

Gibbsbasement · 17/03/2015 17:47

Bravo! And very well done Flowers

ThreeQuartersEmpty · 17/03/2015 17:47
Flowers
TwinkleDust · 17/03/2015 17:48
Flowers
mojo17 · 17/03/2015 17:48

Wow what a time you've had
Well done on working out what would work for you sometimes it really is the best we can do and do you know what he won't like it so a bonus eh
Congrats you deserves a great life for yourself now so go for it

WellWhoKnew · 17/03/2015 17:49

So I got the 'overly fair' offer of yesterday. Plus all my legal fees paid. Plus enough to live off for a year.

As for him? Best hope he was lying about "losing" his job.

Tomorrow is a day off from litigation hell.

The next day, I embark as a woman who is totally in control of her own future. And in control of her own finances.

For the first time in fifteen years.

OP posts:
EauPea · 17/03/2015 17:49

Phew!!!!

I was getting worried that GG had been taken in by Mr SW and decided maybe that a damp caravan was indeed very fair.

Well done WWK

(And seriously, please give the book idea some serious thought?)

winterinmadeira · 17/03/2015 17:49

Oh bloody fantastic WWK!

bobs123 · 17/03/2015 17:52

Flowers Brilliant

So is the consent order all signed and done and dusted? And do you get the absolute straight away?

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