the worst MIL thread you've read

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What's the worst story about a MIL have you read on here? What were her antics? I read another thread that mentioned that there are some awful stories here on MN. Just wanted to know what they were? Alternatively, what about DILs... are there any stories that you've read on here which have shocked youm it's such a tricky relationship sometimes.

"WHY is it only sons who and their mothers who haven't "cut the apron strings" - never heard this remark made of a mother and daughter".

Because this is a site on which mainly women post to air their grievances and get support, there are plenty of threads where women speak about their controlling mothers.

My point workhouse is that I have never heard this particular comment "cutting the apron strings" made about a mother/daughter relationship. I am aware that there are threads where women talk of their controlling mothers.

Maybe you have heard it?

"Mummy's boy" is an insult- "mummy's girl" isn't.

Woman popping round to see her mum. Perfectly normal. Man popping round to see his- uncut apron strings.

Well there's a "tell us your worst DIL thread" atm. If you want to see a thread about worst Daughters / Mothers / sons / whatever, why not start one?

I admit I assumed this thread was started in a partly lighthearted spirit.

You may hear it more if you go onto a site where men are complaining about their partners overly close relationship with their mothers.

'Cutting the apron strings' is nothing to do with men popping round to see their mothers, it's about men who are still doing what mother tells them, as you well know.

yes we get one side of the story, but (except in rare occasions where someone recognizes herself on a thread and gives her side), that's the case with all posts on MN.

'Cutting the apron strings' is nothing to do with men popping round to see their mothers, it's about men who are still doing what mother tells them, as you well know."

Actually, on Mumsnet it seems to mean men ever doing what their mothers ask them to do.......

Having read the MIL threads and the one about a DIL being pressured into playing a bigger role in her SILs wedding, I've come to the conclusion that so much of it is about family dynamics. You're expected to fit into another family with little preparation and even little things can grate if it's not what you're used to.

I know exactly the things that wind up DH about my parents - and he knows the same for me about his parents. Very often they're the same things! I know he finds his mum a bit overbearing and that pre-dates him meeting me or us having children - he felt that way anyway. For me, it was about learning to work out where the boundaries were - MIL wants to mother everyone, but I don't need that kind of relationship with her, I have a very close but different kind of relationship with my mum. An example was her asking if I wanted to go wedding dress shopping with her, as my DM lives much further away.

Trying to explain that I didn't want to go dress shopping with anyone - I hate shopping with anyone, always been a solo clothes shopper by preference -I could tell she was very hurt but I wanted to be clear I didn't need that kind of help , and luckily there was lots of other wedding stuff she could help with.

The elephant in the room with DH's family is not MIL related at all, it's FIL and alcohol, but is basically a very sad and difficult situation, and DH and the rest of the wider family are all in agreement on it- so it's not a cause of conflict, just the sense that we're powerless to do anything about it really .

Hello Hakluyt, I am getting the sense that you may have experienced some MIL / DIL problems yourself.

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"Hello Hakluyt, I am getting the sense that you may have experienced some MIL / DIL problems yourself."

Nope. You don't have to have personally experienced a particular prejudice to find it reprehensible.

I had the infamous "ledkrs pils" but over time and cos I love dh, I've gradually forgotten their wretched behaviour and I quite like them now
I can only put it down to being excited about the first grandchild and beubg unable to remember how it felt just after you'd had a baby (particularly a c section)
It was truly nuts for a few years but seems better now (thank god)

If you want to see a thread about worst Daughters / Mothers / sons / whatever, why not start one?

We don't, that's the whole point. Just as little as we like to see worst MIL stories.

We complain about everyone on this website - DH/DP, DCs, PILs, parents - DS/DB, friends - nobody is exempt. But I guess the change in a woman's role between their generation and ours mean there is extra potential for a clash.

Funny thing is, before I came on MN I always associated the idea of the "MIL from hell" with Les Dawson and comedians of his generation. It never occurred to me that the DIL relationship could be strained as well as the SonIL.

I do know one truly terrifying MIL - not mine - but equally I know one truly terrifying DIL. The rest of us are just trying to muddle through, doing the best we can, and like in all situations that can be a little emotionally fraught, misunderstandings occur.

check the pattern of Hakluyt's posts.

it does occur to me that all those traditional, outmoded MIL posts might have had some basis in reality ... Just like Grimm and Anderson do. But that doesn't mean there aren't awful DILs or SonILs too! (not quite sure why people think MILs get a hard time when actually mothers and aslo FILs get almost as much airtime and SonILs almost never get mentioned)

I think this thread is really distasteful.

People sometimes post about family relationships to get perspective on them, and advice on a way forward.

People gleefully picking over their stories, to find the "worst" is just horrid.

I really thought that there was a touch of humour in the original post.

Alternatively, what about DILs... are there any stories that you've read on here which have shocked youm it's such a tricky relationship sometimes.

no one seems to have bothered to read this ;)

I agree that the thread is a bit distasteful-whichever way round-worst DIL or worst MIL it isn't a thread looking for advice-just relishing hearing about other people's poor relationships.
I suspect OP is writing an article or something.
Very much dislike the word "antics".

Well said SanityClause you're absolutely right.

go on nananina. post DIL/SIL/Mother threads. Otherwise you're simply turning into a critic without action to improve matters.

those threads might also be "post your goodstories".

Just a note to all you who think MILs are being disproportionately picked on on Mumsnet. I think it is important to realise that a large percentage of moans (not all) are about MILs directly trying to control or interfere in their DIL's and DS's family life and to undermine their family autonomy.

The equivalent in my mind would be the DIL trying to directly interfere with the way MIL and FIL run their home and relationship.

Grandparents don't necessarily have a right to see their DGCs or their adult DCs.

I have no axe to grind against PILs. Mine died before I met DH, and I'm mum of two boys.