Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

the worst MIL thread you've read

147 replies

thisismypassword · 21/01/2015 21:01

What's the worst story about a MIL have you read on here? What were her antics? I read another thread that mentioned that there are some awful stories here on MN. Just wanted to know what they were? Alternatively, what about DILs... are there any stories that you've read on here which have shocked youm it's such a tricky relationship sometimes.

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 22/01/2015 14:27

A woman deliberately wore a transparent trouser suit that displayed her pubic hair to draw attention away from the bride??????!

On what planet is that even remotely plausible?

IvanOsokin · 22/01/2015 14:47

What Hakluyt said.

NotQuiteSoOnEdge · 22/01/2015 14:55

I don't understand why people get all het up about awful MIL threads. Terrible MIL's exist, along with the lovely ones who are a DIL's dream come true. Why can't we talk about them without some people getting so angsty?

We don't go onto threads where some poor OP has had some completely awful behaviour foisted on her by her DH, and complain 'oh here we go again, bash all DH's'.

In all roles of life, the majority are fine, some are quirky, and some are downright dangerous, and that's true of MIL's as well. We are allowed to talk about it.

Pennies · 22/01/2015 14:57

I remember the ear piercing one. The op's DH had taken their 15month-ish old to the PILs and was watching the footie or something downstairs. The MIL pierced the baby's ears upstairs using a pair of her own earrings, just forcing them through the lobes Shock. IIRC the op was going to go to the police and have her charged with assault but I don't know if she took it that far in the end.

Hakluyt · 22/01/2015 15:07

Of course we're allowed to talk about it. But MIL are the only group where guilt and culpability is assumed. Well, apart from social workers and health visitors and possibly step mothers. Where obvious mental health issues are treated as evidence of evil mil behaviour. Where whatever they do they are in the wrong.

Hakluyt · 22/01/2015 15:10

And actually, I reckon with threads about bad behaviour from partners there's at least 50% Of posters sympathising with him and suggestingt eh alan might have done something to provotke it. Or at least that it isn't as bad as the op makes out.

WannaBe · 22/01/2015 15:12

IMO the majority of mil threads on here are bollocks.

There are overbearing people in all walks of life, and some of those are of course nasty to their dil's as they probably are to everyone else they encounter. but there are invariably two sides to every story, and I have little doubt that when we hear the "oh my mil said the most horrible things to/about me and all I did was marry their son," there is probably a lot the dil isn't telling from her side.

As for mil cleaning the loo with the dil's toothbrush? yeah right. Hmm and if anyone wore a see-through suit to a wedding with no underware would people say they'd done it to upstage the bride? I think not, but mils have different intentions to the rest of the population...

I wonder how many of the gleaful mil bashers have sons....

CatThiefKeith · 22/01/2015 15:25

It was my mil with the vow renewal. She's not a mil from hell, she's actually a very good mil, but she is a bit socially inept, and extremely tactless.

Most of the time I just laugh now. Smile

supernaut · 22/01/2015 15:41

The recent thread about the chinese (I think) PILs who came to stay and rearranged the house, messed things up and did all manner of weird stuff.

zippyandbungle · 22/01/2015 15:50

Oh get over it. Some mil are nuts when it comes to dil relationships. I see my totally rational friend turning into a mil from hell on an ever increasing spiral. She can't see it , no matter what is said. And it is just in this relationship. It has brought out the very worst of her for no rational reason other than she almost sees her dil as the 'ow'

Ohfourfoxache · 22/01/2015 15:50

Thanks CatTheif - your story just really stuck out in my mind (possibly because I also had problems with my ILs during wedding planning).

Are you the poster who was contacted about her dog and the previous owners wanted him/her back? If it is you, I'm not stalking you - honest! Grin

CatThiefKeith · 22/01/2015 15:53

Yep, that's me too. She's asleep on my feet at the moment. 2014 was an eventful year, I am hoping 2015 will be less so! Smile

Ohfourfoxache · 22/01/2015 15:59

Excellent! So glad she's still with you - the previous owner sounded utterly deluded. Got everything crossed for you that 2015 is boring in comparison! Grin

Hakluyt · 22/01/2015 16:04

"It has brought out the very worst of her for no rational reason other than she almost sees her dil as the 'ow'"

And this never goes the other way? Hmm

onlyjoking9329 · 22/01/2015 16:09

I'm sure there are some lovely MILs,sadly they don't get much of a passing mention.
My MIL was not one of the nice ones, ever.
It's hard to do a shortlist to give a measure of her evil.
Reported me to social services for abusing her grandchildren, leaving them home alone every night whilst I go to the pub, shouting and swearing at them, my parenting has 'turned them autistic '
Reported the children's Sw for not taking any of the above seriously
Reported the oncology SW for not reporting direct to her.
Reported the hospice for the same lack of reporting
Shouting and swearing at me cos I caused her sons brain tumour and death.
Reported the advocate service for advocating.
Threatening then Reporting agency nurses that came to help us.
We had bouncers at his funeral, they were kept busy whilst she ranted and shouted throughout the funeral.
Then blocked the exit so me and the children couldn't safely leave.
Reported me to the DWP for everything and anything.
Sending me plan your only funeral packs.
The last time I saw her was at DH funeral in 2008, she is still causing trouble.

Hakluyt · 22/01/2015 16:14

That's awful, onlyjoking.

But with anyone else, we'd be talking about a woman with paranoid delusions. Because it's a mil, she's evil.

TheComfortOfStrangers · 22/01/2015 16:24

There was quite a sad one where the mil went into the op's room in the middle of the night and took her crying newborn off her

Erm, wasn't this a helpful thing to do? The sort of thing we wish the DHs and DPs would do more of to give new mums a little break and sleep?

It's unacceptable if an MIL does it though, because the mothers of adult sons are intrinsically evil, it seems.

Ohfourfoxache · 22/01/2015 16:28

Onlyjoking Sad - how absolutely bloody awful Sad

People don't need to have a MH problem to be evil though. Actually, labelling evil behaviour as a side effect of MH problems just perpetuate negative connotations associated with sufferers of diagnosable conditions. They are two completely separate entities Confused

Ohfourfoxache · 22/01/2015 16:35

Not in this case TheComfort - the mil snatched the baby away and the dil found the relationship very difficult after that. I felt really, really sorry for the op because she had obviously tried really hard to be a "good dil".

Fwiw I would feel the same way if anyone did that - the fact that it was a mil is actually irrelevant.

I would do anything - anything - to have a close relationship with my ILs btw. I would love to have the type of relationship where we could call each other up, or see each other without DH facilitating. I've bent over backwards for my ILs but they don't really want to know about DH or me - there are only so many times you can bash your head against a brick wall before it starts to hurt Sad

Hakluyt · 22/01/2015 16:57

"People don't need to have a MH problem to be evil though."

Of course they don't. But if somebody lists a series of extreme irrational behaviours in anyone except a MIL, it would be usual to consider mental health issues. Read onlyjoking's awful story- does that sound like the behaviour of a mentally stable person? Honestly?

Hakluyt · 22/01/2015 17:06

"Not in this case TheComfort - the mil snatched the baby away and the dil found the relationship very difficult after that. I felt really, really sorry for the op because she had obviously tried really hard to be a "good dil"."

And the MIL's side of the story could be that she took the baby to walk up and down with him to give her DIL 5 minutes to catch her breath before she tried latching on again...........but no benefit of the doubt for MILs ever.

pictish · 22/01/2015 17:13

Agree with hassled and hakluyt - the worst ones for me are the ones that support poor mils being stuffed in a drawer until dil says they can come out again. Which is then supported on here by like-minded selfish cows.

Halfling · 22/01/2015 17:14

As mother of two DS (no DDs), the MIL bashing on MN depresses me no end Hmm

Bumpotato · 22/01/2015 17:15

My MIL and I had a period of not getting along. It was a combination of me marrying her PFB then me having a PFB. She didn't object to us getting married, and had a great time at the wedding but she was against us becoming parents (we were solvent and in our 30s).

We were both silly with each other and our relationship went from great friends to great frostiness. It's a pity I didn't have MN back then because maybe some mners could have talked some sense into me and made me be the bigger person.

She died, not before we'd called a truce but too soon to make up for the silliness that had gone on. She also didn't talk to her own MIL, who died just before she did, for 30 odd years.

If they're out and out toxic then yes there's a reason to distance yourself, but if they're just very different from you, or a bit overbearing but kind deep down, live and let live, I say.

Ohfourfoxache · 22/01/2015 17:23

Perhaps Pictish - but as someone who has got to the point of begging ILs for any sort of relationship and being rebuffed every single time (unless they specifically want to see/speak to us or if they want something) I tend to have a bit more sympathy with dils!

It doesn't matter which side is stuffed into a box until someone else decides it's time to come out - it's hurtful and unnecessary Sad