OH stay out all night?

[patch123]

My OH has been invited to drinks for someone's birthday in the village where he used to live. I am free that night and not drinking so I said I will pick him up. He was VERY adamant that I shouldn't and that he should stay at his parents. I think this is strange as we are a couple, I have children so we get every other weekend on our own which is one of these times so I can't understand why he wouldn't want to come home to me and wake up with me? Wanting to stay at his parents and act like he's 20 again and not want to come home to his partner is immature and worrying I think.Am I being controlling and suspicious for no reason or is he out of order here?

I thought I was needy!

I find it strange that you're so insistent you pick him up

On the occasions my DH has a night out with the lads I tell him to stay at his parents for the night!!
It's lovely to have a peaceful night with my soaps and not football.

If you don't have your children that night why don't you plan an evening out with your friends?
A healthy relationship isn't about being in each other's pockets all the time, we all need our own space.

"hooby to be fair she is not single, she is in a monogamous committed relationship."

She is single. She's his girlfriend for goodness sake! She's not his wife, not his partner, they don't live together, she's his girlfriend. Who knows if she's in a monogamous or committed relationship? She may think so; he, from the safety of his bachelor flat, may think otherwise and frankly I'd not blame him.

If he wanted a different sort of relationship to girlfriend/boyfriend with their own lives and homes surely he'd be in it (i.e. married or living with the OP) and not keeping his independence by virtue of having his own home separate from her?

To be terribly blunt, maybe the OP's neediness is the very reason why her boyfriend chooses to keep a home and a life of his own.

I suspect you have a different definition of single to just about everyone else here, hoobypicky. It detracts from your point somewhat.

Yep agree with everyone. Sometimes you just want to act like you're 20 again

I have a boyfriend he has his own house and I have mine but I certainly don't class myself as single

Actually, I see you don't trust him. SO YOU JUST NEED TO work out why, if it's him, dump him. If it's you! TRY TO CHANGe how you react to this
Sorry for caps
Can my dh come? Could do with an evening doing what I want and stretching out in bed

To be honest your way of thinking is going to get you and your relationship in trouble. People need space to be themselves. Being in a relationship- a loving one doesn't mean losing all freedom and spending no time apart from the other person. My husband is in his 30's and if I tried to control his movements when we were dating he'd have rightly considered me a bunny boiler.

You think it's inappropriate that he wouldn't return to you after a night with his mates, I think it's inappropriate that you are trying to control an adults behaviour. He isn't acting like a partying 19 year old. He's meeting old friend, having a drink and going home to his parents. I like when my husband is away, it gives me a chance to have some space and I appreciate him all the more when he comes home.

If you don't have trust, then you have nothing.