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Original poster

Revenge on the other woman

126 replies

Tryingtostaycalm · 19/01/2015 16:21

I know revenge is bad for the soul etc etc. but I really need to have some. My husband cheated on me with a woman from his office for at least six months until I found out. They denied everything (and I caught it in the early stages of sexual contact I think) until I found more and more evidence. The other woman then proceeded to call me and tell me I was to blame, and it was because I was a rubbish wife. This is a woman who had just been cheating on her own husband (she has two kids, as do I).
Whereas I might normally let this go and leave it to karma, the fact that she was so vindictive and bitchy has made me really set on getting some kind of revenge on her. It has to be legal though as her husband is a policeman - and he doesn't know (he is violent and I didn't want him coming to my home looking for a fight). My husband and I are trying to work things out, even though I still haven't forgiven or forgotten what he has done.
Any ideas? Apart from 'let it go'? Because I can't.

OP posts:
BeCool · 21/01/2015 16:48

Leaving your arse of a H and sending him her way would be fantastic revenge. She would "win" a lying creating untrustworthy idiot of a man.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2015 17:43

Sisted yes it's marvellous! I wanted to cheer when I read your first post Grin

ChloeDeville · 26/06/2016 20:25

On TV, in forums, in conversations..it amazes me how many women blame the other woman. HE made the vows, the promises with you--NOT HER. You have no idea what he told her...why would he tell the truth? To borrow the logic premise used in court "But for his actions, the cheating would not have happened."

HappyJanuary · 26/06/2016 21:54

I know this thread is ancient, but chloe you do know that, just as you don't have to share a finite pool of love when you have a second child, so it is possible to feel hatred and anger towards both your unfaithful partner and the woman who facilitated the betrayal.

Your partner betrayed you more of course, but then you have shared happy memories, children, the millions of kindnesses he did for you before this. The OW on the other hand has done nothing but hurt you and your children, pretending to believe the lies she was fed in order to justify her immoral behaviour.

In some cases I've read on here, the ow shows breathtaking arrogance or superiority that antagonises the betrayed spouse.

Really, they are vilified for a reason, hard to see any redeeming features in this type of person. If you need to fret about someone being unfairly tarred, there are better candidates.

Molly333 · 26/06/2016 23:43

Who told you he was violent , him or her ? Do you believe anything they say anymore , tell him I would as I would like to know

LordScuttlebutt · 07/04/2017 08:28

She wanted revenge on me because he told her he had made a big mistake, and I was the best thing he ever had and needed to win me back!!! Which he didn't I wouldn't ever let anyone treat me like that

Love the way you handled this Grin

Bet he's still kicking himself today!!!

hellsbellsmelons · 07/04/2017 09:12

I actually would like to thank the recent OW.
I managed to uncover a whole web of deceit and lies.
Almost a double life.

So now I can move on and find a decent man who isn't a porn addict.
Who doesn't feel emasculated because I'm the one who get the attention.
Who feels proud of me.
Who wants to focus 100% of their attention on me.
Not on porn or trying it on with OW.
If she knew half of what I know about ExP she would run a mile.

Do you really want to save your marriage?
Or are you just biding your time until you can get away with some financial security?
Have you looked into what it would like if you were to separate?
I would focus on that for now.

If you do want to save your marriage, then focus your attention on that.
Not on OW.
She is not worth your head space.

I would want to tell her DH so he knows all the facts and could decide if he wants to stay with a cheater.
But the fact he might be abusive and violent would mean that I would leave her to rot in that awful relationship she has.
That's probably revenge enough.

Thinkingofausername1 · 07/04/2017 10:07

He will only end up cheating on her. I'm sorry to hear what a bitch she has been and making your situation worse Flowers

LordScuttlebutt · 07/04/2017 10:08

Time will heal. A cliche, but it's true.

You can move on from this and leave your ex wallowing in the filth he has created.

AnyFucker · 07/04/2017 10:15

Zombie thread Smile

NeonGod73 · 07/04/2017 10:21

Revenge is bad for your soul? How? It's fucking brilliant! Oh, and there's no such thing as karma, dear, so don't wait for it to show up on anyone's doorstep.

BitOutOfPractice · 07/04/2017 10:22

AF I was reading it all invested and only realised it was a zombie thread when I read my own very wise and erudite comments Grin

AnyFucker · 07/04/2017 10:36

Me too Smile

Lesley1980 · 07/04/2017 10:36

All this woman knows about your marriage is what your husband told her. Do you think your husband used to shag her & then talk about a wonderful wife you were? your husband has hurt this woman too. She probably doesn't understand why he is picking his awful wife over her.

How do you know her husband is violent? Yours husband?

BonnyScotland · 07/04/2017 11:25

Go to her Husband and tell him about the Affair ... then tell him about her phone call... and ask him to keep his wife from contacting both you and your husband ever again ... he will not react violently as he will lose his job ... but at least you know she is having to 'work at saving' her marriage just as you are x

PoorYorick · 07/04/2017 12:07

In your head,
In your head,

ZOMBIE

ZOMBIE

ZO-OM-BEE-EH-EEH-EH-EEH-EH-EEH-EH-OH-OH....

aquamarine2 · 07/04/2017 12:47

I feel exactly the same with my partners ow. From what I have read, it is entirely natural to feel this way, albeit not very logical.

The mad stages you go through on discovery! Time will lessen the madness I hope.

So whilst I do understand your need for revenge, I have to agree with others, do nothing. Don't sink to her level.

HarmlessChap · 07/04/2017 13:07

For a dish, served cold.

On valentines day anonymously send her some perfume which has been diluted with a bit of your wee.

Then when she wears it she'll be spraying some of your wee on her.

Possibly not legal but.....

IrianOfW · 07/04/2017 13:20

Silence is the best response. Added to which if she know you know and you know who her husband is, she will always be a little worried what you might do. That is a little vengeful satisfaction if you like.

hmcAsWas · 07/04/2017 13:32

Myrightfoot - I think you were completely justified in your actions.

MorrisZapp · 07/04/2017 13:34

My thoughts haven't changed since I commented in 2015

hmcAsWas · 07/04/2017 13:36

So which chump resurrected this zombie thread? Ah LordScuttlebutt explain yourself!

LordScuttlebutt · 07/04/2017 14:02

LOL!

I thought these threads would be locked down or have something obvious on them.

Durr! Blush Must look closer next time.

Trich · 08/04/2017 00:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Postagestamppat · 08/04/2017 00:36

Makes sense that it is a zombie thread as it sounds straight out of the 1970's.