Am I boring in bed?

[bowlofbananas]

Actually I know the answer is yes. We always do it in bed. Dh always goes on top as I can easily orgasm in that position, but not so easily when I am on top. We have a kiss and bit of a grope first. Occasionally I give him a blow job as part of foreplay. I enjoy sex and dh says he does too (and seems happy enough). We have sex 2-3 times a week. This has been the same for approx 10 years now since we had the dc. It has been so long since we did anything different I suppose I have lost confidence in changing things.

It does sound like you would like to spice things up a bit but really don't know how to because none of the things you can think of, actually appeal to you.

You don't have to get wild, but you can change things round a little bit to liven things up. Maybe different positions - you can still go back to missionary if you need that to orgasm. Could you get away with a quickie in another room (after 10pm), or just spend the evening teasing each other. Do you like to see each other dressed in a particular way? Wear a skirt and tell him you aren't wearing knickers, or go and join him in a shower.

Just a little bit of change from the usual, can be a lot of fun and add extra excitement. You don't have to, and if you are both happy with your current routine, then don't stress over it, but it doesn't take a lot to add a bit of thrill.

if you are both happy with your sex life I don't see the problem

there is nothing to say you should be swinging off chandeliers etc

you get regular orgasms and your H gets regular BJ's ?

erm, sounds ok to me

I like a bit of kitchen worktop sex myself. You can polish the hob while you're at it

Win/win

2-3 times a week for 10 years - how can there be anything wrong with that!

at AFs admission

polish the hob I said < tchuh >

Sex with someone you love is also about the closeness you both feel. By all means, try different things if you are concerned but if it works for both of you as it is and you feel that special closeness then I don't see the problem.

at Cog's admission too!

AF, I'd burn my bottom if I did those acrobatics

Get on some fancy underwear prance around and get the whips out!

whips ?

how common

I'm convinced that must be an innuendo, simontowers2, because I can't imagine why you would decide to start suggesting that the OP needs to work on the meals she (according to you) prepares each night in the middle of this thread. I'm not sure where you got that she's the one in charge of food variety in their house in the first place, to be honest. So yes - must be a joke I'm missing.

Though I'm really struggling to work out what 'spag bol' is in that case.

Sounds more than ok to me!

Don't knock the duvet day until you've tried it :) A heady mix of middle-aged sex, tea, toast and napping.... Phwoarrr!

Haha! I'm just jealous

Although the thought of asking my boss so I can have a genuine duvet day fills me with fear!

I don't ask my boss for a duvet day! (Perish the thought) I just take a day's leave. My 'image' in the company is of a rather sensible, motherly type. They probably think I spend the day doing something very safe and boring.

Your sex life doesn't sound boring.

IMHO kinky positions are over-rated - tmi but I usually end up a bit sore and unsatisfied. Or it becomes a bit to much about the mechanics or how to actually manage it rather than letting go. like an episode of the Chuckle brothers 'to me, to you'

For me great sex is where we both orgasm and can relax at let go a bit - for us that is missionary (I don't know why just seems to work best for us!)

nothing more cringey to me than the thought of 2 mddle aged people romping in the kitched, wearing rubber gloves, sticking the washing up brush up their bums etc, all in the name of 'spicing things up a bit'

It sounds ok to me OP. Also you're very lucky that normal piv does it for you, luckier than you realise.

"sticking the washing up brush up their bums etc"

Is this something you do on a regular basis or just seen in a particular kind of movie?.....

There's a vast range of possibilities between 'twice a week missionary' and the pages of the Karma Sutra that look like a game of nude Twister.. Spicing things up can be a simple as swapping a few fantasies, sharing a bath or getting out the massage oils. Ultimately, it's two people thinking 'what would the other person enjoy?'... and being just a little more creative than normal.

DH and I are a bit dull in all parts of our lives really, we have a set of friends, we do the same hobbies, we do sex pretty much the same each week...trouble is, it really works, we are happy, have low stress levels...there's a lot to be said for that.

I also pontificated to DH that maybe we should spice it up a bit and try role playing - but we laughed too much when we tried.

Realistically, if you are getting multiple orgasms and having fun, that's what counts.

I did get some new underwear and some stockings and some very high heel shoes - that's about as racy as we get!!!!!

Agree with redholly You are very lucky to be able to orgasm with piv -in any position. Many can't.

There are some great replies here. Thanks so much for all the ideas I am feeling inspired (by some things more than others!)

Cog - I couldn't ask my boss for a duvet day as she is so flipping nosey and would ask why and then all my colleagues would ask what I did the next day!

Having said that, with the day I've had today, I did have this thread in the back of my mind and if I did have a partner at the moment, wouldn't hesitate to take a duvet day tomorrow and tell her exactly what I was doing when she asked.

Good luck bananas - still jealous

i think youre over thinking it.
Youre both doing what you both like and are close, intimate and maintaining a decent sex life.

If you want to do different things, then thats fine, but dont feel you have to.

If you're happy that's great, 3 times a week is pretty good going from what I understand chatting to my mum mates. Try some lube, try it partly dressed, i quite like it when the fella wears his shirt undone,change location like the lounge, just inject a little change (no pun intended) and bloody we'll enjoy!

I'm going to step in with a tale of caution about spicing things up

so, after me thinking things need to be a bit hotter, and consulting magazines and friends, I came to the conclusion then sneaking a cheeky finger up DP bum whilst in the throws of passion was the way to go....yeah it really wasn't DP shot across the room like a startled cat screeching in horror "why would you do that?" I explained I wanted to spice things up, he replied spice things up, you nearly gave me a heart attack. Needless to say I haven't tried since to spice anything up without his consent hahaha .