We have been together 14yrs and have 4 children. Things are not perfect but we are very much together. We have been arguing about the same behaviour for many years and it is getting me down somewhat, though it will surely sound v petty. Here is this mornings example but it happens often
DP: The cat is in
Me (checking emails etc ahead of school run): Oh
DP (comes through from kitchen): You have left the top off the butter, the cat will get it. Come through and put it back on, or would you like me too
Me: I am sending an email, you walked passed the problem, why not just put the lid back on yourself, that it what I do
DP: How will you learn if I do everything for you?
Me: 
...you are not a teacher, I dob't need teaching...I need help in the mornings to get everything done
DP: You should get things ready the night before.
Me: angry expletives
It drives me insane. He is constantly making me feel as though his help is conditional or only needed as I am rubbish. For absolute openness, i am very messy indeed but I do my fair share of picking up after everyone, cleaning etc. To me, he thinks that I only qualify for help if I ask for it, or do things properly. He thinks that I should want to make things easier and better so he is duty bound to comment so I don't make the same mistake again.
What do you think?