The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Starting the New Year in Fine Style

[venusandmars]

Hello, I'm Venus, and standing in for Mouse (who usually starts all our threads)

This is a safe and welcoming place for anyone who is facing up to a problem with alcohol. It may be something you’ve known for years, or it may be that struggling with dry January has made you re-think your relationship with drink.
Anyway, welcome old and new, lurkers and posters. It can be a weird thread at times – travelling on a bus called Gerald.... he takes us up and down and this wondrous land, searching high and low for Babes in need of some support, a warm place to sit and chat, and to have someone to listen to them.

So, grab a seat as we swing by your way. There's lots of hot drinks, food and fleeces, places to just be and places to sit around and chat if that's what you want.

We don't judge, because we've all been in your shoes, be they stilettos, wellies or crocs!...

We're just us, we're just honest and we just do what we can to help, if we can, when we can. If you find all the banter off-putting just jump in with a cry for help.

And HAPPY NEW YEAR xxx

Here is the very first, emotional thread if you would like to see where this all started

Our most recent thread, if you want to catch up

venus you are truly amazing, your posts are so full of truth, warmth and inspiration!!! If you were to lead an army, you would lead them to victory xxx

khalisi I'm so so sorry you've had such a tough time. I reckon you have lots of lovely luck and happier times ahead coz you deserve it.

sweet thank you for being you xxx

Feel almost elated having gotten a big chunk of housework done, tons more to do but a productive day. I used to think it was mega sad (pathetic) that my mum was in her element after doing her Saturday house clean, now I see that a tidy house kinda clears the chaos in my mind.

Little victories and all that.....

I LOVE THIS BUS Xxxxxxx

Baby I hope that cleaning bug is catching!

Have a good sleep if you can everyone. Night, night.

Sorry not to NC - am soooo tired - well done to everyone who is fighting tonight. Off to bed, night all

Good morning All

Day 3 had an altercation with a bottle of Cava on Sunday Miserable weekend, made it through Friday night and Saturday night. Had a chat with one of my Besties (she's not a great influence on the AF Spanna) bought Cava round to cheer me up

Soc and more experienced Babes did you have to cut out your 'drinking' friends? what I mean is the friends that you would tend to drink with? please advise?

Beaches buttercup, sorry to take so long in replying re glass. I don't know any of the technical terms so I apologise now! When I worked with glass I didn't use glue, used this metal to join the glass together (it wrapped around the edges and then I soldered it) then I used this tar stuff (like roofing stuff) to hold the glass into place. I think this was a traditional way of doing stained glass. I did have access to Uni studio which made life a lot easier. Sorry for my bad description. Hope all is good with you, sounds very BRRRRRRrrrrr over there, leaving hot choc with marshmallows for you honey xxx

I thought I had this weekend off from my DCs (this is a very rare occurrence!), as they were going to my sister in laws for the weekend, alas she is sick, has fucked up all my arrangements Oh well, hey ho. I will just keep on keeping on.

Sorry not to NC you all. You are all amazing and I love reading your posts. Have a good day y'all

Morning All.

Day 28 for me. Today I have my new patient appointment with my new GP, so I will (finally) be making some head way with some of my issues. I'm pleased to be able to go there and say that whatever my drinking score may say (I filled the form in early in December in a fit of almost honesty), I have been AF for four weeks, five out of seven including the week before Christmas.

Sober, you still sound positive - keep it up. How's your sleep - Lot's of us experience disturbed sleep for the first week or two - with very vivid dreams, but the boost you get from not being in a permanent hungover fog pulls you through.

Have a good bay everyone, I'll be around all morning, then its a busy afternoon followed by after school activity and general taxi services.

Hello babes

babyjane I love this bus too and am sooooo grateful for it. What a safe place it is to come and 'chat' and you were all such incredible support in the early days. Now I just come here to boss you all around.

spanna in the very early days I stayed away from drinking friends and/or socializing. It's way too hard to abstain when your friends are drinking in those early days/weeks. Didn't take too long when I felt strong enough to deal with it, but I don't have real 'drinking' friends so not one of them has ever pushed alcohol onto me. They don't really know how bad I was (no one does) and I've always thought if they put pressure on me to drink, I will tell them how bad it was and any good friend would very quickly stop trying to persuade me to drink. But it's never come to that. I'm 45 so maybe everyone has passed that point??? I'd just recommend avoiding difficult situations for a few weeks. You definitely want to get past that point before summer.

Good night. Going to be to read. Still love that.
xx

Morning babes, I have one particular drinking friend I need to avoid (or at least keep making excuses why I can't call up), I have now managed 11 days without calling up to her. Her relationship with alcohol is as bad as mine!

Waves to all babes x

Hello Babes!!

spanna I too avoided the usual drinking buddies in the beginning. I think that helped. And I realised something about my first drink on Friday which led to 2 on Saturday.
My friend meant well cooking me a great meal ahead of my b-day but really, I should not have started.
I don't want to end up having a life long alcohol problem. Which is why I wanted to start with dry Jan. But it is a lie to think I don't have a problem. Although it intensified in the last months of my very bad old relationship, if I'm honest, it wasn't the best before either.

I'm going to try and go back to abstaining in the week - including Friday. If I can limit to two glasses on Saturday and also only if I have company, I'll be very happy.
And I'm going to buy loads of AF drinks.

But hey, all the plans mean shit when nothing works!

On the good side I spoke to my creditors (the two big bills that had me drinking on Saturday) and one has accepted a 6 months interest free pay plan and the other said I can pay on the 15th when my salary comes in.

Lesson learned: When the shit hits the fan over the weekend, not drinking and waiting to see if there might be a do-able solution is worth it.

baby a friend visited me the other day and brought a beautiful perfectly shaped mistletoe she found on the road so I bloody well hope good luck is on its way to me!

hi sweet, my love! Have a good one today!

Afternoon babes, I have quite a bit of catching up to do! All good here, have had a few drinks when out, but not in doors and not more than 2! Super proud of that, it's actually easier to deal with this way (for me anyway).

Hi all. Just popped in to catch up and to say hi.

Glad things are going well Jingle.

Get yes all that does sound familiar- stamping down feelings with a bottle glass of wine . Problem is they pop up again worse.

Anyway I'm off to pick up the dc's.

'See' you all soon

Afternoon.

Feeling rubbish - have spent all day sneezing, to the point that my teeth hurt and my headaches, my whole face is sore. I very nearly gave in and had a brandy because I felt so rubbish. But I sat and looked at the minutes clocking up on my app and knew I couldn't. I have, however eaten everything I could get my hands on.

Jingle, well done for moderating, and Khalisi, bills are rubbish, but so pleased you were able to come to reasonable arrangements - tell that Wine Witch that she can only come back when SHE pays the bills! .

Obrigada, you may have to 'fess-up' to your friend at some point, or you may end up being the subject of an AIBU!!

Spanna I have one friend I explained to - that I couldn't spend an evening with him and not drink - he's only in the country once a year though. Unfortunately, most of my drinking was done alone, so it's being in my own company that's the hardest .

Hi everyone. Khalisi - nice one on talking to your creditors, that's brilliant. Gives you the breathing space you hopefully need.

Sweet sorry you're feeling rubbish. Well done on avoiding the brandy. Keep it up! You know it really would only make you feel worse.

It's funny you should mention sleep. I've always been a dreadful sleeper. Take forever to get to sleep, wake frequently in the night, struggle to get back off again. It was one of my reasons for drinking (and yes, I did know that alcohol may help you pass out drop off but it inhibits good sleep overall - but why let the facts get in the way of a good excuse?).

But since stopping drinking I have slept. So. Well. Five nights on the run of sleeping all night (still waking, but finding it much easier to drop off again) and dreaming generally normal dreams.

Hard to describe, and I know it won't last forever, but I feel so at peace at the moment. A whacking great load of tension has just disappeared. As if I've been carrying a giant burden for years and finally, someone has come and taken it from me and said "here, you can rest now".

aww, sober sweetheart! Enjoy the feeling now and don't cry because it might go sometime in the future. Who knows, this might be your new normal, babes!
Strange, in all the years I never thought I was a bad sleeper because of the alcohol! Holy fuck, the things I'm learning on this bus!
That said, I do sleep better now. The nightmares are not as violent (I sometimes woke up standing somewhere in the room totally panicked!).

Good point, sweet. Very good point indeend. Next time she comes by I'm gonna say, 'back the fuck off, WW! Come back when you can save this fucking house!' (in my orange is the new black voice!

Hey sweets how did your appointment go?

Hi gals,

Loving the vibe and sisterhood on this here bus,

I've eaten a whole packet of oat biscuits today (10 in the pack) and I feel disgusting, I feel like I'm transferring one vice for another which is bloody ridiculous. I'm due my period so I'm calling today my eat shit hall pass and will try again tomorrow.

Keep on keeping on, I admire you all so much and I gain strength from all of yours.

Hasta mañana mon amegos... Xxx

Hey, you're due on and you've only over indulged to the tune of a single packet of biscuits? I think you're over achieving, if anything!

Though you have now made ME want oat biscuits, and I'm already on the blob so no excuse...

Night, everyone.

Morning.

sober at 'overachieving'! But isn't it unfunny that alcohol causes the very things we think it relieves? Have a good day, enjoy the 'boing'.

Baby that does sound like a very small packet of biscuits - hold onto the memory of that yuk feeling, the same way you hold on to the memory of a hangover! It might stop you next time (who am I kidding - it wouldn't stop me either).

Joey the appointment was a bit of a disappointment, I was told it would be a comprehensive new patient review, it would take half an hour, they would sort out my existing medications, blah blah! Five minutes, weight, height, blood pressure, on yer way, and not with a Doctor anyway (and it wasn't just me, DH was under the same impression). So I have to ring this morning and hopefully I can get an actual Dr appointment for early next week.

I was hoping for a snow day today, not so much as a hard frost, PAH! Exhausted from yesterday's sneezing, and feeling the usual gnawing anxiety. I know it will be ok, but that doesn't seem to help.

Ho hum, on the positive side today is day 29 and yesterday I read back from the beginning of the month and remembered all of my milestones - the first day; a week; making it to double figures; passing my previous personal best; and now, if this was February, I would have clocked up a whole month! I would urge all of you to do it - the feelings get lost and forgotten, but this bus is a great way of recording them. Ma if you're lurking, tough as things must have been, you sounded so positive on the AF days at the beginning of the month.

Have a happy AF day everyone.

Morning all. Day 48 -1 today! The longest I have gone AF ever (as far as I can remember). I feel so much better in myself and sleeping loads better.

I am a binge drinker so didn't tend to drink every night (although sometimes did) which means I have to be mindful of not falling into the trap of going out/staying in and glugging as much as possible. On paper this would be 1 day only but it just means that I can't pick up the first glass.

Sorry you're feeling anxious today Sweet are you lecturing today?

Don't worry about the biscuits Baby they sound yum, a period calls for loads of biccys! You were asking about weight loss the other day and I find my fitness pal app really good; you add your weight and how much you want to lose and it tells you the number of calories you should have. You add in what you're eating and drinking throughout the day and it adds it up for you; have to say it can be a bit of a shocker so possibly notbest time to start when it's time of month

Right dd needs brekky so will see you later.

Yup, lecturing this morning - major performance anxiety - it was - until this academic year, my favourite bit of the job - I'm a bit of a thwarted actress, so, a captive audience should be heaven!

48 days is brilliant Ruby.

I'm lurking.
Edging round the elephant in the room.
AF last night.

Hey Ma, is it a happy elephant?

Or a scary one?

Well done on last night, are you planning on the bus or the sidecar tonight?

My morning lecture was an ordeal. Horrible, horrible, horrible. I know the content was good - it was good last year and I have added whistles and bells since, but they just sat and looked at me as if I was mad - well, I am a bit, but you know what I mean.

SO now, I am taking a quick break before afternoon tutorials, and wishing there was a ready mixed G&T in my drawer - there always used to be

Hi babes, thank you for normalising my biscuit binge. The irony is I went to a health food shop which sells all exotic fruit and veg and is in an über cool part of Glasgow where everyone looks Interesting and bohemian and you get your groceries in a brown paper bag ala New York deli. Anyway the oat biscuits were to replace my usual preservative laden gunk filled yum yums to have with my achingly cool decaf African cure everything coffee and I ate most of them on the way home!!!! My fresh spinach, coriander and dill are looking menacingly at me from my window ledge as they appear limper by the minute, well now they know how I feel, I had to keep the biscuits together as a pack
Is a family!!!!

sweet god isn't anxiety a terrible thing!!! Have you tried any rescue remedies, I use Dr. Bachs rescue remedy in droplet form and it bizarrely taste like straight alcohol but it really does work . I have a friend who gets migraines triggered by stress, bright lights, busy shops and gets quite panicky on these situations and she tried mine and was as serene as the flippin Dalai Lama for the rest of our lunch.

My anxiety started when I had dd2, it was instantaneous after the birth, she was premature and her eyes still fused shut and I was convinced she had no eyes , then I was convinced she had Down syndrome. I used to be a very smart, logical and resourceful person and now I get fraught with anxiety for anything and everything. It's exhausting and makes the world a dark and dangerous place. I spent so long pretending to be ok that it ended in an alcohol fuelled nervous breakdown which I'm crawling back from. I guess I'm trying to say you DESERVE help, don't be pushed aside and don't play it down your GP, your obviously a very smart and lovely lady so trust your instincts and get the help you need.... Big hugs my lovely xxxx

Ruby khalisi sober sweet, your posts and friendships are lovely to be part of and a breath of fresh air to us longer serving babes so keep doing what your doing, your doing great,

ma I'm thinking of you and sense a shift in your "stuff", post what and when you can and you know we're with you come what may.

Love and cuddles for all xxxx

Afternoon babes, still AF with no plans to drink tonight. Weighed myself on Sunday and have been trying veggie for the last 3 days, weighed in last night and I have lost 4lb ... happy frickin days .

Hello my lovelies!

Absolutely exhausted already. And I have another 4 maybe more hours to go!

baby I'm rubbish at remembering my dates. So I stuff my face in total of how much I can eat just to be surprised when I come on! Seriously, you'd think after all these years I'd remember. In my defense, I have never used contraceptives so my periods are still all over the place, like when I was a teenager!
Oh and another very positive effect of the long AF lifestyle was that for the first time in over six months I was on for my usual 3 days only; instead of a week! (have to remember that, before picking up a glass).

sweet those stupid binge drinkers! What do they know, ha?! Don't let them get you down. You're brilliant!
Day 29!!! So proud of you, my love! Would have loved to share it with you but am going to use that as inspiration!
Day 3 here.