The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Starting the New Year in Fine Style

[venusandmars]

Hello, I'm Venus, and standing in for Mouse (who usually starts all our threads)

This is a safe and welcoming place for anyone who is facing up to a problem with alcohol. It may be something you’ve known for years, or it may be that struggling with dry January has made you re-think your relationship with drink.
Anyway, welcome old and new, lurkers and posters. It can be a weird thread at times – travelling on a bus called Gerald.... he takes us up and down and this wondrous land, searching high and low for Babes in need of some support, a warm place to sit and chat, and to have someone to listen to them.

So, grab a seat as we swing by your way. There's lots of hot drinks, food and fleeces, places to just be and places to sit around and chat if that's what you want.

We don't judge, because we've all been in your shoes, be they stilettos, wellies or crocs!...

We're just us, we're just honest and we just do what we can to help, if we can, when we can. If you find all the banter off-putting just jump in with a cry for help.

And HAPPY NEW YEAR xxx

Here is the very first, emotional thread if you would like to see where this all started

Our most recent thread, if you want to catch up

Morning babes, wracked up another night AF, so it's Day 10 for me today. Feel like I might have a little boing today .

Isinde, I loved 'Squash and a Squeeze' when DS was small, and for some reason always read it in a Scottish accent (I'm not Scottish, and about as far from the border as you can get!).

Thing about my job, is, people think they understand it because it appears to be similar to teaching at other levels, so they make all sorts of assumptions. But the strange hierarchy - and sometimes lack of it; the impenetrable language - both institutional and subject specific (sometimes I let it slip and see the look on their faces - 'liminal'? Who the hell uses that in a conversation? - even my spell check doesn't believe me). Oh and the stupid clothes and processions (fortunately only once a year though). And don't even get anyone started on my choice of specialism!

Glad you're feeling a bit boingy, have a good trip

I should read more carefully - Obrigada, I read your post as the end of Isinde's! DOH!

Well done on day 10

hey babes
going to have some of my recent posts deleted. no panic, I will still be around. just don't want some of the stuff accessed by third parties.

Whatever you need to do, Ma, take care of yourself.

Hope everything's okay ma xxx

Hi guys,

Hope all is well on our boogy bus ???

Just checking In, been swimming today and been cleaning the house. Still plodding on and thoroughly enjoy reading all your posts, God we a fabulous lot aren't we, proud to be "in the gang".

ma all sounds very cryptic, please advise of your situation and location, over and out xxxx

I'm feeling great but my weight is getting in the way of my vision of myself sober and newly fabulous, I have some lovely clothes bought with my "wine money" but Im heavier than I've been In a while and I feel disappointed in myself for not trying harder to use more of the "wine time" to excercise instead of stuffing my gob!!!! I'm 44 this year and dd2 has just turned 4 and Is a very "busy" girl so I feel every pound and I want to lose 2 stone. Has anyone any experience of juicing to help lose weight and boost energy ??

Anyways you are all fabulous and don't any of you forget it xxxx

Baby what a lovely positive vibe you're giving out today. I haven't juiced, but a couple of years ago I lost 2 st (managed to keep 1 and a bit off long term), I did it 1lb at a time, alongside upping my daily steps - I bet you have a little lady helping with that already - and pilates for the wobbly bits. I just focused on the calories in/calories out equation, though I didn't obsessively count.

You are fabulous too - well you're one of us, so you'd have to be

Made it - and didn't even drink Due to shift patterns, won't see colleague til next week now.

As far as I know, she hasn't made a complaint- probably because there was some truth in what I said! (Believe me, I was so awful that if it had been uncalled for I would have been disciplined ) I do need to try and work on my anger management though. Apart from work, it's not good for my health.

Am absolutely shattered now, the Stugerons have knocked me out on top of the adrenaline and anxiety. Game of Thrones (that bastard Tywin! I think he might get what's coming to him) bath and early night. no wine

High-fives, Alias. Well done, you deserve GoT . Waiting on the edge of seat for season five.

I have a dilemma. It is exWBs birthday at the end of the week. DS is already showing signs of being a typical bloke over dates, and ExWB is a hateful twunt, who has never once helped DS with anything for me, including sending him home distraught one year on Mother's Day without so much as a picture - by keeping him out all day and not giving him time or materials to do it! So, question is, am I a bigger person, or do I just not remember to remind him? I'm particularly cross with Ex for being nasty and refusing to talk to DS on Skype at the weekend.

Sorry, I knew as soon as I hit 'post', that I was the bigger person. Boy has been reminded

Thanks sweets unfortunately I read some spoilers by mistake, but am trying not to find out anything else! But I suspect that Jon Snow may be More Significant than we have been led to believe...

Re. Your ex, I'd remind DS a couple of times, but not bother making an effort to ensure he actually gets him something. Sorry, I'm too tired to give any sensible advice!

That is exactly what I have done, so it's brilliant advice!

I'm ok. No change at the moment but covering tracks and making changes. Bear with....

Crap. How do I get MN to delete my stuff? Have emailed them via the contact us email....

Would the report button on the blue bar above each post do it?

Hi Babes!!!!

baby happy you're better, my friend.

ma good luck with whatever you've started. Please know we are here for you.

sweet Back in the day I reminded the girls. But when I read your post I thought 'to hell with these ex-WB!! Why should we be the bigger people?
Very proud of you!
(Am now almost grateful that I had a miscarriage last Summer. I know it sounds horrible because it was very traumatic. But the thought of having a baby with ex in the picture FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! OMG. Can't even begin to imagine that.

Hi all the lovely babes on the bus! Sorry not to NC! Will be back soon.

xxx

bloody welcome back. I think that sometimes 'alcoholic' is not a useful term. It conjures up images that we sometimes don't identify with.

I also think that many of us women who drink too much are inherently resourceful - we cope with the balance of family life and work and finances, we create harmony and aim to nurture our children, we are dutiful daughters, loving partners, outrageously funny friends, nursery-rhyme-singing mothers, astute business women, emotional empathisers, and so on yada yada yada. And so it is not surprising that we take a whole heap of alcohol in our stride too. As an example, I have had a cough since before Christmas. Although not being prone to chesty viruses I have been wheezing and coughing, and coughing up 'stuff'. I'll get better, I'll live. By contrast dp has had a tickly irritating cough (he doesn't know how blood irritating!) Honestly, you would think he had ebola!

Ditto with hangovers. How often do you read on here about men who have come home drunk and then spent the next day in bed while their dw gets on with looking after children. No such luxury for us! Hungover, headachy, whatever we get up, get dc ready, get to work. We have strategies to get us through.

I know that I used to think that I was 'functional' at a pretty high level and it was only when I stopped that I realised how dysfunctional everything had become.

There is room here for everyone, and there is hope and help whether you drink a couple of gins a night (and want to get out of the habit), whether you're getting up at 4am to start your day with an early drink, or whether you're reading the stats about 'dangerous levels of drinking' and wondering how come you seem to be managing ok. Just post what you feel, read what is relevant (and ignore all the crap a bout the green opal fruits ).

sweet I get what you say about academia. I was doing a course and I had to write about PEDAGOGY. Why can't they just say education, or theory of learning, or something that us poor mortals can understand!

It's the bane of my life, Venus, I was once told that I had not been awarded an internal prize because I hadn't fully articulated my pedagogic philosophy . . . , by someone who hadn't been at the front of a class in years, I had fully articulated that my students liked my classes, learnt a lot, oh and I had a huge teaching load because some of my colleagues weren't safe around students with the National Student Survey coming up (ok, so I didn't say that last bit!). Nor had I discussed epistemology, ontology or any other pissing ology, because I didn't think that was the game we were playing. I was wrong .

Khalisi, that is so terribly sad, but so very understandable

Hello everyone. Busy bus tonight, feels nice and cosy! DP is out and I am having a lovely curled-up sofa evening catching up with stuff internet shopping and generally chilling. I have had a couple of Becks Blue but the WW seems to be under control tonight (though I am scared even to articulate that).

Has anyone seen Mouse or Wry recently? I have missed them both.

What has really struck me reading back through the last couple of days' posts is how amazingly strong and self-aware all you babes are. Even though some of us are going through truly horrible stuff, and have vile WBs/colleagues/sporadically vile DCs to deal with, and even though we all periodically have losing battles with the WW, we pick up, dust off and keep on plodding - and not only that, but we do it with fabulous reflectiveness and amazing support for each other. That is really, really special.

Crumples up in slightly over-emotional but reasonably positive heap.

So true, Venus. So true.
I just got off the phone with one of my friends who is finally cracking after almost 20 years of running life at full speed.

Fox, I always try to squeeze in a few minutes just to read up because I get so much strength and love from this bus, even without posting!

You babes are the best. Thank you for help me be a better person.

Luffs youse!
xxx

Good night, Babes.
xxx

Hi everyone. Like they said ^ I'm so full of admiration for everyone here. Every single person is strong, clever and warm. I feel really lucky to be here.

I've had a good day. Was pleased with my gym session last night. Due to headache and general emotional exhaustion, I really did NOT want to run at all. But I managed a little, and bike and cross trainer too, and ended up doing a respectable 45min and knowing I'd pushed myself just the right amount. Not too much (which is often a risk with me), not too little.

Still reflecting on yesterday's counselling session. There's a lot there about self esteem, confidence and pressure to be perfect. Also a lot about stamping down feelings in order to avoid dealing with them. This will all sound familiar to many of you, I'm sure!

Five days alcohol free now. Looking forward to hitting the one week mark.