Single Dad wants to see baby more

[Cowapjn]

Hello everyone. I have posted on here before and received some excellent honest advice.
Im seeking some more if possible please. The jist of my story is:

• Me and the ex girlfriend have a 6 and a half month old.
• We split when she was pregnant.
• Despite my absolute best efforts we remain separated.
• Since the birth we have got back together a number of occasions but she has issues that created a vicious circle and she kept ending it.
• I did so much for her when it wasnt needed but to try and make it work. This included coming off all social media, changing my number, disowning my own sister, isolating myself from friends, decorating the house to her taste so she would want to move back in etc it wasnt enough.

As i said our daughter is 6 and a half months old. The only time i have ever had alone with her was when i took her for a walk in the cold wind rain. Every other occasion is supervised either at hers or at her mothers which isnt ideal as i have an audience. None of my friends what so ever have met my daughter. A lot of my family have yet to meet her.
Due to work I see my daughter at weekends for 3 hours tops which absolutely kills me!
Things have become so strained now i dont know what will happen.

Me ex made a very fair point that i dont know our daughters routine. I then said i wont know unless she tells me which she has so far failed to do. Its not like i can spend a full 24 hours with the ex and baby and note down the routine - i need her help.

I own my own home and i just want to start having my daughter on my own is it too much to ask? The ex is so unreasonable though its so difficult i fear my only option is a solicitor which i cant afford and even if i could id much prefer to spend the money on the baby.

Im not a scum bag, ive never cheated, i work hard and pay my way. It feels like this should have been the best experience of my life but it hasnt. I missed the birth, night feeds and so much more and it so painful even more as the ex led me to believe her moving back in with the baby was imminent and i spent a lot of time and money making the house how she wanted.

There is my story.
Advice please
Be as brutal as you like but ill not be made to feel bad because i want to see my daughter more.

Thanks

J

Im going to look at parenting classes not that i feel that i need them and i do kind of feel like its insulting bit if it makes me look good to her and in court im all for it!

Good for you. Proaction is the way forward.

Your local sure start/ children's centre should be able to advise on age appropriate courses. Failing that, Google 'baby parenting courses' - there are loads out there!

Every time you post here rather than Googling "mediation" in your local area, you're postponing being able to see your daughter more.

Our words on this screen won't change a thing. You need to take the steps. You've tried doing it informally, now you need to employ somebody to help you do this.

Of course she's saying No. What repercussions are there for her? She gets to have her daughter all to herself apart from a few hours a week when you come round but then you're gone again until the following weekend.

While you're doing a Google for mediation services nearby, also see if the local SureStart centres have any sessions for dads as these are usually on Saturdays - perhaps you could take DD, chat with other dads etc?

It's really important that you stop writing about the situation that you're in and start taking steps to change it.

OP, I've just read this entire thread and yes, I agree, you are harddoneby, but at the same time, you don't seem to have done any research into child-care and you are only interested in the parenting course for appearances sake. And there is such a lot of information online. You say you think about your dd 24/7, well a good way to use that time would be looking up baby development and child-care things on the internet. I know my dd did and does and she is a much better mother than I ever was. This is for the benefit of your daughter, because sooner or later, you are going to be allowed to spend more time with her.

If she's concerned (or using the excuse that she's concerned) about the baby's welfare whilst in your care ("what if the baby gets sick?")... Find out if there are dad's groups / Saturday toddler groups / anything else, preferably at a sure start centre. You could go to that (even ask her to drop the baby off at the venue!) and suggest she could go for coffee or a walk or whatever. Even if she doesn't trust your parenting skills (or claims not to trust them), in a situation where there are lots of other parents (and in some cases professionals) around to help, she has even less of a case.