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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can my wife ever forgive my affair?

129 replies

Funkywotsits · 02/01/2015 21:07

Hello,
I'd like some honest advice please.
Back in 2014 I had a silly,brief,stupid and first time ever affair.
I told my wife it was going on and stupidly told her our marriage (7 yrs) was over.
I left her ( and my sons) for three days before opening my eyes and seeing what a stupid mistake I had made.
I ended the affair straight away and asked to come home and she said 'No'.
We have lived apart for 6 months now but have talked about going for counselling ( Relate) soon.
I truly regret this ever happening and over the past six months have kept some distance as asked,sought 1-1 counselling,kept regular contact with my Son's,paid monthly amount to run family home and caused no trouble or hassled her.
Can she ever forgive me? Does that happen?

OP posts:
christmaspies · 03/01/2015 00:29

Give the op a break. He knows full well he's been in the wrong

AmantesSuntAmentes · 03/01/2015 00:30

Having experienced this (twice) and the ensuing bleatings (plural, you will note. IME all cheats do and say pretty much all the same things) about mistakes, weaknesses, lessons learned, regrets, blah, blah and the further pleas to come home - refused outright, of course. I wouldn't bank on either her forgiveness or for her to want you back. They are two quite different things, you know. In fact, knowing as I do that life without a cheat (or two) is far better than with, I hope she has the strength and inclination to steer well clear.

DropYourSword · 03/01/2015 00:30

And he asked whether we think he'd be forgiven and we are giving him our honest opinions christmaspies. That's all.

AmantesSuntAmentes · 03/01/2015 00:32

Give the op a break. He knows full well he's been in the wrong

I would imagine he also knew this before, during and after his affair. A little honesty will probably neither help or hinder in the present.

Funkywotsits · 03/01/2015 00:42

As I said all your comments are appreciated.I wasn't expecting an easy ride or comforting messages of support.Weak may not be the right word to use,I committed a conscious act over and over for two months,but sometimes we can commit conscious acts in what we feel is a clear and conscious mind.I made a mistake,a massive terrible mistake.
I do regret it ( no blah blahs)

OP posts:
ChocolateNutsAndCreamLiquer · 03/01/2015 00:53

Would you forgive your wife if she had done to you what you have done to her ?

Really, really think about your reply. Right now you would probably forgive her anything you are so contrite.

You got your, 'jollies' while she looked after the family home and all that entails.

Now the person who has hurt her the most needs to make it up to her ? What happens when the making up is complete ? Business as usual ?

Really ?

You made your wife feel not good enough. Jesus Christ man, what more do you want ? She had your babies. She does the mothering part of parenting. She's your wife and then you fuck off with somebody else. Guilt gets the better of you and you want to come home, no harm done.

Good luck.

Lovingfreedom · 03/01/2015 00:56

I think people often forgive affairs but given the period of time that has passed I would guess that your wife isn't going to in this case. I think she would have had you back by now if she was. A risk you take when you break up with someone is that they will accept that the relationship has ended.

AmantesSuntAmentes · 03/01/2015 00:57

I committed a conscious act over and over for two months,but sometimes we can commit conscious acts in what we feel is a clear and conscious mind.

I'm genuinely trying to think of a situation I could apply this to - but I can't. You're either 'conscious' and aware - or not. It's impossible to claim that you were not conscious of the fact you had a wife and were having an affair, unless you were suffering from amnesia.

So, I, personally, would have to file that concept under 'blah'.

This is all deviating from your original query though. Can your wife forgive you? It is often impossible. Can you give a realistic reason as to why she should? Maybe that will give you a better understanding of whether she should or could.

Galvanized · 03/01/2015 01:02

Lol at "back in 2014", we're only two days into 2015!

springydaffs · 03/01/2015 01:04

Oh I do hope someone posts with some constructive advice - or, indeed, experience of making a marriage work after infidelity.

I can't offer either because I haven't, thankfully, experienced this either way. Unfortunately, many on here have experienced it, been cheated on, and, as you can see, will not view you or what you have to say favourably. Which is understandable.

I'm not sure here is the best place to post tbh. Too many broken and smashed hearts here. For the majority there is no way back. If you do make it work somehow it will be a shadow over you for years, I suspect. Repent at leisure and all that.

Waltermittythesequel · 03/01/2015 01:09

Have you posted about this before?

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 03/01/2015 02:02

I can see why you want your wife and boys back & I do believe you are genuinely sorry. I still don't think you really understand just how much damage you have done, not only to your marriage, but to her as a person, whether she takes you back or not.

To you the affair was a mistake, your 3 days 'away' was short, it's in the past...to her you have destroyed your marriage, her trust in you, her security and worst of all her self confidence.

You can't 'go back'. What you had doesn't exist anymore, you did the equivalent of using a wrecking ball on a building. If she considers a future with you, you need to start at the foundations and rebuild a new marriage.

It is masses and masses of hard work for both of you.

But before you can even consider you need to truly accept this was 100% your fault. No ifs or buts and you have to accept that it will be hard and you cannot ever be angry at her if she is still hurting. There's no such thing as 'getting over it' or it being in the past, it will always be part of your present too.

You need to ask yourself if you can accept/do all of that before you talk to her about rebuilding your relationship because if you can't accept/do all of that you need to jet her go and not put her through more pain.

If she continues to say 'no' then you have to accept that and not blame her for that. You had the affair, being very, very sorry doesn't mean she has to forgive you.

I dish you both well, together or apart.

RubbishMantra · 03/01/2015 05:29

funkywotsit, you're a Prince Among Men. Of course she will forgive you. Grin

Timetoask · 03/01/2015 06:05

I think that if you love your wife, then you need to try to win her back. I cannot advice you on how, but in your place I would definitely persist. Continue doing what you are doing now, plus counseling, plus winning back her love.
I remember watching the interview to Hilary Clinton about Bill's afair (not long ago here on mumsnet web chats), I will try to find her exact words but basically she didn't listen to people giving her advice she did what was best for her family and decided to forgive. Will look for it later.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/01/2015 08:18

'He knows full well he's in the wrong'

This isn't about what the OP knows or feels.. He can feel all the remorse in the world, keep his distance, plead for forgiveness, do the right thing financially etc..... and if his DW has no interest in reconciliation, it won't make any difference. The ball is in her court and if, in the last six months, she's come out of the other side of the raw hurt and betrayal a little, and discovered that life is OK (or even better) without the OP, then he's fighting a losing battle.

Vivacia · 03/01/2015 08:47

I ended the affair with OW as I knew it was such a wrong thing to be doing,I hadn't found better than I had

There's something about the end of this sentence that really struck me. What if you had "found better"? You betray your wife? What if you "find better" in the future? You'll betray your wife? It's as if the lying to your wife and children and family all rests on whether you think you've "found better".

Rebecca2014 · 03/01/2015 09:27

She is scared that if she takes you back, you will do it again. Be it in one month time or ten years time. She does not want to waste any more of her precious time with you when she could be with a man who could be loyal to her.

Can you really in your heart say you would never cheat on her again or leave? that is what you got to show her.

CuriouSir · 03/01/2015 09:27

Who knows, OP. Keep trying though, but respect her decision if she says no. I wouldn't forgive my wife though if she did the same without discussing it with me.

Whocansay · 03/01/2015 10:00

If I was your wife I'd be massively annoyed at you suggesting it was a 'mistake'. You didn't make an accidental error here. You chose to go out and fuck someone else. Then you got cold feet once reality set in.

Stop trying to sugar coat your faithlessness. You betrayed your wife and children. She may forgive you, but I suspect badgering her and whining about your woes won't get you very far. I suggest you listen to what she says to you about her feelings and act accordingly. Then you may begin to regain some trust.

NettleTea · 03/01/2015 10:59

you may not have found better, but for the 2 months that you had the affair, and the fact that you left the marriage (of how long?) based only on those 2 months, indicates that at the time you DID think you had found better. Why would you have thrown your family away if not? Dont tell me blindness or weakness, that doesnt cut it. At the time you thought it was the best choice, and that is going to cut to the quick for her.

OF course she would have known that after 2 months it was just lust, that you couldnt possibly know that this OW was your soul mate (and we know on MN that this is a paultry excuse for people behaving badly, soul mates do not exist) she would have known that the OW was all fantasy, that when Real Life kicked in, it would lose the thrill of the forbidden fruit and the everyday and little habits would not be so appealing. But still, you made that decision.

You say the affair lasted 2 months, was that 2 months since you had sex, or was that 2 months since you met. Unless you are in the habit of doing the pub/club scene it is unlikely that it started as a drunken ONS that carried on. (And if you ARE still in the pub/club scene, do you really think that was healthy for the marriage, for a man with children?) In which case there had to be a lead up, an emotional affair at least (maybe at work??) that moved across the boundaries? Why were you not able to see that you were getting into dangerous territory? Are your boundaries loose or do you just enjoy the ego flattery? Just Good Friends by Shirley Glass is essential reading if this was a friendship that you decided to take too far. If the OW is a work collegue what have you done to address that - moved jobs? looked to move jobs? Or are you kidding yourself that your wife will accept that 'its over' and trust you to not have any contact, or to keep that contact professional.

Because trust is the issue here. For those 2 months and before you broke her trust. She thought that she was happily married and you held information over her that didnt give her the right to know what was going on in her life. You lied. If your marriage wasnt happy, or you were not happy, why did you not talk to her? You broke her trust there too, because you didnt trust her to help you to solve any problems, you just chose an easy distraction. She will now be looking back at the marriage and wondering what else you lied about. About her memories, which she thought were happy, and questioning whether all was as it seemed.

How long were you married and how old are the children? Is she run ragged taking all responsibility for running the home and the children and you feel neglected. Did you take an equal part in the responsibility of your children, were you fully engaged in family life or were you, like most cheaters, leaving all the shit work to her and sulking because they were taking all the attention from you? Was that building resentment from your ex wife? Had she given up work and felt undervalued for what she did? Did you really understand all the sacrifices she was making to allow you to just carry on with your career unhindered? To provide for you? No wonder she felt rejected when you walked out for a new, probably unencumbered, bright young thing who was free to have fun and good times with you. Do you understand all that?

When you have given up a huge amount to have children (because ultimately a man can, and does, walk away, leaving you to provide for them until adulthood) possibly lost any chance on the career ladder, possibly made yourself financially dependant upon your husband if you have agreed to be a SAHM (and risking only to be able to get low paid pt work if you try to go back, due to childcare issues and a career break) you leave yourself very vulnerable, and you have to TRUST your husband implicity.

Deserttrek · 03/01/2015 11:02

I was struck by what Timetoask posted about Hilary Clinton.

My DW had an affair, and I made my decision on the future not the past. Forgiving takes a lot and that is for her to do and not you.

Some people can forgive and some can't and the best thing you can do is give her space and also work on you. In time she may come back, or she may not, but you will have no control over that process nor how long it takes.

Deserttrek · 03/01/2015 11:08

I just wondered OP if what NettleTea has posted has already occurred to you or is new information. It is very clear and easy to understand.

Lovingfreedom · 03/01/2015 11:20

You could try asking her out on dates and trying to woo her back slowly?

Lweji · 03/01/2015 11:33

Why do you want to know if she will ever forgive you?

Do you really want to be with her and will stick it out for however long you need to sort yourself out and regain her trust?

Or do you want to know if you are flogging a dead horse and would be better moving on? Do you think you will have wasted time of your life trying to earn back her trust?

If the last, then move on now, because you will never deserve her and it's likely that you will find again something that seems better and will hurt her again.

If the first, then concentrate on resolving whatever issues you have, give her space to heal from the wounds you caused, and hope that eventually she may be able to trust you enough or she tells you that there is no way back. And if you don't get back together, then at least I hope that you have become through the process an emotionally healthier, trustworthy man, and a better partner to someone else.

Deserttrek · 03/01/2015 11:45

It could take years to do what Lweji has said OP. Not weeks, or months, not even one year. For her to forgive and for you to work on yourself, especially the latter. And on your own, no bit on the side. Could you make that sort of commitment? What is your instinct, because if you don't think you could make that change, commitment or investment in yourself then you should move on, and do all the things that are right by DW to allow her to move on and keep a secure family home. But where do you go if you cannot make that commitment to yourself? Because if you want to make those changes in your character and soul, so that you do not compromise yourself again, you will have to make that commitment anyway. It won't happen by itself. It takes a lot of hard work to turn a big ship around, but if you don't you will continue on this course for the rest of your life. The question to ask is, why wouldn't you step up to the mark now?