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Original poster

**Reconnecting 2015**

151 replies

knightofswords · 01/01/2015 20:07

Hello this is the thread inspired by the recent NY making friends thread, for anyone who feels a lack of RL friendships for whatever reason, and wants to do something about it.

My personal aim for joining this thread would be to end the year with a few more genuine friendships, even if they just stay online. So if any of us needs support or encouragement or a shoulder to cry on or just a virtual Brew, we know where to come.

Here's to a great year. Wine

OP posts:
Aloneandnowwhat · 01/01/2015 20:15

I'd like to be part of this - being a single mum of two, most of my friends are either married or don't have children so I'd like to make more friends in my situation.
Have no family either so it gets tough.

MadameLeBean · 01/01/2015 20:40

I am in will post my plan of action here too

Longsufferingmum2 · 01/01/2015 20:44

I have friends but am definitely not a 'core' member and Facebook makes me feel very left out. Last night I felt like everyone else was invited somewhere or had people over. We never get an invite and if we'd invited people over, they'd all have somewhere better to be.
I am going to try harder to be part of people's lives so that they think of me when it's time for events, even if it means I do all the inviting and arranging etc.

mrsnewfie · 01/01/2015 20:56

Hello.

I'd like to join this too.

I feel exactly the same as you Longsufferingmum2. I have plenty of 'friends' and friendly acquaintances but always feel on the outside of a group. It's the same wherever I go.

I would consider myself to be quite a bubbly, chatty person but I feel I am always overlooked for a better option! Sounds daft for a grown woman to be saying that but I can't help myself feeling low about it.

I don't know how to overcome this problem!! Good to know I'm not the only one!

MadameLeBean · 01/01/2015 21:19

I spent NYE with dp and his two best mates whose wives were off out with their own friends! It was a fun night but I wish I had my own female friends to go out with!

MadameLeBean · 01/01/2015 21:20

Reposted from the other thread:

I am going to make more of an effort with a couple of friendly acquaintances that live locally as I often CBA to go "out out"once I'm home or at the weekend (I mean going into central London) and my after work socialising is somewhat limited by needing to either pick up DD (or if DP is on the pick up duty - we split it 50/50 - then I'll take the opportunity to work a bit later or I'll have a work event / late conference call scheduled).

So my ideal social life would be something like - dinner & drinks after work once a month or so, a weekend cycling/running buddy, & someone to chat shit with at my house / theirs or in local pub / restaurant at the weekend (not every weekend though, think once a month would be plenty!).

Action plan:

I'm going to ask local friend if she wants to run with me on Tuesday nights which is my jogging night.

I'm going to look into a women's road cycling club for weekends. Need to negotiate with DP as I already "get" Sunday mornings for yoga and he normally gets sat mornings for bike ride (but he has been lazy the last few months!!)

I'm going to ask work friend (well the girl I get on best with) if she wants to go for dinner after work occasionally, or do a Friday lunch

I'm going to ask the two mums I like from dd school if they want to come over for coffee more often at weekends (we have a good laugh)

What would your ideal social life be like and what's your plan ??

AWitchThisWayComes · 01/01/2015 21:23

Can I join in with this?

Since I got rid of STBXH, I find that the few friends I did have were only wanting to be around for the good times and none of the bad when I needed support the most.

I would love to get out more and make new friends, genuine ones, and see this year end with a bunch of laughs rather than sadness Smile

olderguy · 01/01/2015 21:25

Are men allowed? I'm feeling very left out as a newly single dad of one and wouldn't mind the odd virtual Brew

ElphabaTheGreen · 01/01/2015 21:34
CalleighDoodle · 01/01/2015 21:52

Add me :)

Rioux · 01/01/2015 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MerryMo · 01/01/2015 22:09

I would love to join. I feel the same as Longsufferingmum2 describes.

I have a few friends but dont feel fully accepted by them. I suggested to a couple of them that we should get together at some point running upto or over christmas for a few drinks. They agreed. As usual no one got back to me so I messaged them and suggested a few dates. This time they were busy. Fair enough its a busy time of year but the same happens in August. I feel as if I am the insurance choice - ok to hang out with, if nothing better is on offer.

Anyway, I am determined to be more positive this year. I have a fresh start ahead of me as we are moving over 200 miles away next week! I won't have any friends there, so will need to make the effort. I dont want millions of friends. Just a few good friendships and to maybe improve my social life a little.

yougotafriend · 01/01/2015 22:52

My mantra this year is to say "yes" to every invitation from friends/friendly aquaintances/work colleagues regardless of whether I particularly fancy the occasion or not, with a view to increasing my circle of friends as I've become single this year.

I would always have said I have a large and varied social circle but realise now that (a) they are pretty tied up with their own lives or (b) they fall in the category of "our" friends and their loyalties are now divided.

I'm definitely up for joining a group of like minded people

Mum4Fergus · 01/01/2015 23:30

Id like to join in please Smile one of my goals this year is to develop a social life. I'm on my own with DS but even on the nights he is with his Dad I make no effort to do anything Hmm I happen to be in London for 2 days with work this month and where I would normally get room service and have an early night-I've arranged dinner with a friend who is fairly local to my hotel. Also a neighbour and I realised over the hols that we're both home alone Wed evenings-so going to suggest we have every other alternate weeks at each other's ...

whatdoesittake48 · 01/01/2015 23:31

Count me in too. Strangely, I have come to accept being friendless recently. I actually feel that it is ok to be on my own or with my family and don't especially miss friends. But I know that living an insular life means I miss out on so much.
My goals are to get a job outside of the home so I have face to face contact with people and to make a decent effort when or if I have invites or offers. Who knows. ... They may actually come my way!

Lndnmummy · 01/01/2015 23:40

Marking place, in bed with poorly ds but will write more tmrw!

Original poster
knightofswords · 01/01/2015 23:49

ooh this is exciting! loads of people. Let's keep the momentum going

OP posts:
Original poster
knightofswords · 01/01/2015 23:55

just to answer a couple of posters: Olderguy yes of course men are allowed.
MLB, well my ideal social life would be basically a) having about 5 or 6 different people I can phone and have coffee with, b) another 5 people I can go to the pub with, and an interesting hobby. Already have the third one but find it so hard to meet people regularly as I work from home.

OP posts:
Heffalumps · 02/01/2015 00:04

Please may I join too?
It's me and my DD (11) here, I separated & divorced from XH last year and the year ended with an odd mix of feelings. A few friends and acquaintances were lost last year due to all the changes in life, I guess, and everyone else seems very much part of their own social circle. I also work f/time and have no family nearby- I can find it tough sometimes & it's also good to know I'm not the only one feeling like this
Here's to a great 2015 Smile

catbus · 02/01/2015 00:17

Count me in Smile
2015 will be my biatch and determined to rediscover the loon of a woman I actually - and be accepted for it Grin

Playthegameout · 02/01/2015 06:48

Can I join too? I have 2 good friends but they don't get on and are now drifting from me. One because of work/lifestyle one because she's engaged to a partner who doesn't like me. I do have acquaintances but find it hard to cement friendships. According to 1 of my friends I'm very "marmite". My DH is super popular, and does include me, but I want to get some more proper friends!

MadameLeBean · 02/01/2015 07:01

I think I am quite "marmite" too lol Smile

Playthegameout · 02/01/2015 08:45

Grin I really like marmite anyway!

ClashCityRocker · 02/01/2015 08:56

Can I join?

I have one close friend who lives away so I only see her once in a blue moon. Previously i didn't really notice the lack of friends - DH and I spent a lot of time with both of his and my family, however due to illness, house moves etc we don't see them as often - plus I would like to socialise outside of family!

It's really hit home this christmas and New Years how much I would enjoy just going out for a meal once a month with someone and being able to go the pub once a month.

I do struggle a bit with socialisation - am very much a 'curl up with a good book type'. But, if I do make the effort to go out, I really do enjoy it. It's taking that first step that's the problem.

My plans for this year are to find an IRL group to join and as a pp said, accept more invites to social events.

IndigoWoman2 · 02/01/2015 09:41

Can I join you?
Most of my local friends were made through DC's friends' parents when they started school. Now DC's are Uni age and disappearing, and I'm realising the biggest thing we had in common was our children. I do like them, but just want some friends more like me!