**Reconnecting 2015**

[knightofswords]

Hello this is the thread inspired by the recent NY making friends thread, for anyone who feels a lack of RL friendships for whatever reason, and wants to do something about it.

My personal aim for joining this thread would be to end the year with a few more genuine friendships, even if they just stay online. So if any of us needs support or encouragement or a shoulder to cry on or just a virtual , we know where to come.

Here's to a great year.

I'd like to join please.

I have a couple of good friends - 1 has just had a little one and another lives a bit further away so I don't see them that often. I have a few acquaintances but I find them a bit much sometimes.

I've made a few poor friend choices over the past few years - people I feel that I have really been there for but I don't get it back (best was taking time off work to help a 'friend' retrieve her things from her ex. When I had a major op a couple of months later she left me in the hospital waiting room as she was 'bored') . I can't seem to work out what I am doing wrong, although I am conscious that I am quite self contained and maybe offer practical help rather that being really open about things. I feel I open up and no one wants to listen so it's a vicious circle. I also only seem to have friendships for a year or so before it burns out. I made loose plans with 4 people over the festivities and all of them haven't happened. I really tried in 2014 - I tried a couple of team sports last year but couldn't really settle into them, although I gave them a good few weeks.

That sounds really whiny but I am not overly down about it. I've worked hard on my self esteem. I think a big part is my current living arrangements as I live in a halls of residence type set up. I hope to get my own place in about a year, then it will be easier to host people.

Happy New Year all :)

Another vote for marmite, can we have a Marmite emoticon please

I 2nd the call for a marmite emoticon!

I'm rubbish at friends (hence name, often feel like the grit in other people's sandwich) and would love to join.

hello to everybody new!
Just wondering, for the people on here who do have a couple of close friends they've met as an adult, what were the things you bonded over?

It's funny isn't it as a adult when you get on well with someone it's really hard to get to the next level of closeness - it's kind of awkward like dating?!

Two years ago I rekindled friendships with a couple of old college buddies, and we now go to the theatre sometimes. Not sure if we still have loads else in common (as we've all changed in the 30 years since) but we do all like evenings watching plays and eating out!

Can I join?! I'm 26 with two daughters 4.5 and 9months. All my friends my age don't have kids and all my mummy friends are a decade older than me so I'm in no man's land!

Hello Tea1.

Has anyone tried Mumsnet Local in their area? I had a look once but there didn't seem to be anything going on in my area...

I met my now best friend 10 years ago (I'm 46 now), we met through work...he's gay and partnered and in another country but we see each other 2-3 times a year...we can go weeks without speaking but always pick up where we left off. I love him dearly-he's the only person who knows everything about me...

Oh and my Mumsnet Local page is totally blank lol...

Hello, I have joined mumsnet just to become a member of this group! I was just reflecting over New Year how my group of friends has diminished and I seem to have made some bad choices of friends over the years. By the end of this year, I will have two children aged under 2, and will have moved to be closer to my husband's job - feeling nervous about my social life (which isn't very active at all considering my pregnancy and inconsistent sleeper and separation anxiety-ridden baby!) once we move.
Good to be in a group to spur each other on! I am hoping to meet some real friends with whom I can have more than just work-talk or baby-talk....

Knight, in answer to your question about how I have bonded with close friends, the friend I have seen the most of since I have had my baby is a friend I met through work a few years ago - I must confess she is the one who is more sociable and was the driver of our plans initially....
I always lack confidence to make the first move / make further plans with people and my shyness can make me seem aloof I am told. I have been through some difficult times and am quite resentful of friends who were clearly only there for the good times; this has further diminished my confidence in my ability to know who to try to become friends with....sigh.

Hello and welcome Lilipot. Congrats on impending new arrival.

My strategy is just to be really friendly to absolutely everybody. The trick is knowing how to then distance yourself from anyone who turns out to be non-friend material.

Hello - happy to sign up. Very few of the people I know would want to do anything in real life, and I feel pretty lonely sometimes. I have teenagers who don't need me around as much and I Need a Life!

I made a new best friend through Meetups.co.uk

People form groups and post social activities on there - It was recommended on a mumsnet thread similar to this.

I am also working on my self confidence and happiness as I know it's much easier to feel like joining in social activities when you feel good about yourself and are not distracted by personal problems .. Also if you are positive relaxed and open, it is more inviting to people.

I had a terrible time in 2014 with my relationship almost breaking down (no infidelity just a load of crap, miscommunication, self esteem issues etc) so was really down and "detached from life" however we have turned things around so I'm feeling more relaxed and able to concentrate on MY life - new friends, activities, my work etc not just navel gazing about my relationship

This thread is a great idea!

We moved house in July, when DS2 was just 2 weeks old. Ironically, we moved to be nearer to family and friends, but reconnecting with friends hasn't really happened, partly because we're still just a tad too far away to make it work, and partly because they've moved on since I was away and have their own lives and other friends. It's sad, but that's life I suppose.

We've moved a lot over the years and I've always been quite adept at getting out and about to toddler groups (not that I'm necessarily looking for 'mum' friends per se, but it's the easiest way to meet people and break the ice).

But it's so much harder now, with 2 children and having to fit in the nursery run twice a day. Feel like I'm trapped and isolated. My MNLocal is v quiet and even the other site's meet-a-mum section is slow around here (Norfolk). DP works long hours too.

Am sociable, but introverted (though I don't always give that impression in person!). I read a lot, and watch far too much telly (soaps, comedies and far more CBeebies than I'd like). I am a writer, unpublished as yet, but hopeful.

Would love to make some close friends, but even chatting to people online would be great. Feel free to PM me if you're in a similar situation.

Hi would be great to join in with this, I think it is definitely harder as you get older to make friendships. I am a single Mum and fedup with being on my own when Dcs are with their Dad. I have a hobby and do voluntary work on top,of paid work but struggle to connect with people.
I would like to have friends I can see for a coffee or a few glasses of wine at weekends but I'm quite introverted and don't like large groups of people so not sure what to do really......

as suggested by another poster, shall we create a Facebook group? Can anyone suggest a good name for it?

I'd like to join I have a few friends but all mostly busy with their own lives which is fair enough! I live in North London and I've been to a few meetup groups too but it's hard to find the energy sometimes!

Yes Facebook group sounds like a good idea to me!

I would be up for a fb group .. Mumsnet social life improvement project?

I'm in!

Like other posters, I have some friends but I don't think any of them would regard me as a close friend. I am probably in their top 30 friends not top 5. I am getting married soon and won't be having bridesmaids as I don't have anyone close enough to ask.

My friends are people I have known since school (am now in my 30s). We don't all live close by anymore and I guess they have all made closer friendships with more local people whereas I have not.

I don't struggle to chat to people etc and think I am well-liked eg at work, but I never seem to convert this to proper friendships.

I don't have any friends I see regularly, I probably see each of my friends once or twice a year.

Also a couple of my friends are now married with babies and it's very clear I am no longer in their 'inner circle' so to speak. If I go to them for a cup of tea they will welcome me but they would never make the effort to visit me at a weekend, they have other priorities now.

I have lots of interests and a demanding job so not bored, but do get lonely.

My goal is to make a local friend or two who I can have a quick coffee with every now and again. Would also like to meet someone to go cycling with locally. I thought I had made a local friend, but last time I text her to meet for a coffee she replied saying she had moved to the other side of the country two months ago and had not bothered to tell me. So whereas I thought we were becoming good friends she clearly didn't think so

Oh and I am another one who never gets 'likes' on Facebook etc but really try not to let that bother me!