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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Can't believe he could do this

84 replies

loganberry12 · 27/12/2014 19:25

You may have read my past posts me & ex split up after a second try which didn't work basically because he's a knob. But he hasn't even attempemted to see our 5 year old dc over christmas not even phoned to talk to her no card or presents nothing. Tbh its a relief for me but I can't understand how he can totally cut our little girl out of his life. She has mentioned him a couple of times over Christmas I've told her he's poorly bless her

OP posts:
Original poster
loganberry12 · 27/12/2014 19:27

I'm thinking that if he contacts me in the new year asking to see her I might just ignore him he doesn't deserve her

OP posts:
Quitelikely · 27/12/2014 19:30

He's obviously not a good role model. Did you tell him to stay away over Xmas ?

Original poster
loganberry12 · 27/12/2014 19:33

I told him not to come Christmas Zoe dinner but didn't think he would totally ignore his daughter the whole of Christmas not even acknowledge she existed

OP posts:
heyday · 27/12/2014 19:48

It's hard to know what's going on. Perhaps he has mentally shut down to be able to cope with the pain of not seeing his child on Christmas Day or perhaps he genuinely isn't that bothered.
Yes, you could just ignore him when he makes contact but what would that really achieve. Sometimes absent parents, quite often the men, don't know how to deal with all the emotional stuff. All said and done, your DD needs her father and needs to try and keep some sort of contact even if it is fragmented. Children who do not see both parents very often suffer greatly with self esteem issues. Keep trying to be reasonable and hopefully things will sort themselves out in time.

Vivacia · 27/12/2014 19:50

Heyday have you read any of the OP's other threads?

Original poster
loganberry12 · 27/12/2014 19:51

He told me that if he couldn't be with me then he wouldn't be able to see her because it would me a connection with me so basically putting his feelings before hers

OP posts:
heyday · 27/12/2014 20:17

I find it hard enough at times to keep up with the present posts let alone try and follow previous posts as it does get very confusing at times.
It's not always easy to offer any advice with the limited (and one sided) version of situations that we get on posts on this site.
Emotions are very traumatic at times. As my understand is very limited then perhaps all I can suggest is that some time and space is needed before he is able to emotionally re connect with his DD and op is able to find a way through this very complex situation.

AnyFucker · 27/12/2014 20:19

I can believe it Sad

Original poster
loganberry12 · 27/12/2014 20:23

Do u know something AF I've had the best Christmas in a very long time loved having all my family around & not missed him one bit just feel sad for my little one

OP posts:
IUsedToUseMyHands · 27/12/2014 20:37

"Perhaps he has mentally shut down to be able to cope with the pain of not seeing his child on Christmas Day"

Are you serious?? Confused

Original poster
loganberry12 · 27/12/2014 20:40

He's a dick just thinking about himself if you read my other posts he's had so many chances & is a terrible dad

OP posts:
BuzzardBirdRoast · 27/12/2014 20:41

If this doesn't show you who he is Logan, nothing will. He would rather hurt your daughter to try and get at you ( as well as your son etc) than be a real man and see his little girl.

He really is the lowest of the low.

Hurting you means more to him than his child...lovely.

BuzzardBirdRoast · 27/12/2014 20:42

heyday the man is a prize prick, don't bother trying to make excuses for him.

Original poster
loganberry12 · 27/12/2014 20:43

I know buzzard I just can't believe he'd stoop so lowSad

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 27/12/2014 20:46

Better she finds out what he's really like now than when she's older

BuzzardBirdRoast · 27/12/2014 20:46

He has stooped this low loads of times though Logan, you just haven't acknowledged it yet.

Vivacia · 27/12/2014 20:48

Why can't you believe it, after all of his other behaviour?

What plans do you have for next week? What plans do you have for 2015? You need to stop wasting your time and emotion on this violent man.

Original poster
loganberry12 · 27/12/2014 20:52

I'm at work a few days next week but haven't planned anything much . It's my grandson birthday on New Years eve so will be spending the day with him & my son & daughter in law. But I'm certain I'm not going to contact him. I'm not sure what to do if he bothers to contact me about seeing our DD though

OP posts:
BuzzardBirdRoast · 27/12/2014 21:01

He won't. Keep busy. If he needs to speak to you he can do it through a solicitor.

Original poster
loganberry12 · 27/12/2014 21:03

He defiantly won't go to a solicitor buzzard he's not working lives free board at his elderly parents & any money he gets goes on canabis

OP posts:
BuzzardBirdRoast · 27/12/2014 21:08

Good, more chance for your daughter to not have such a bad role model in her life.

Harsh, I know Logan but you really do need to cut the ties from this loser.

AnyFucker · 27/12/2014 21:53

I too am glad this dick is proving us all right

Original poster
loganberry12 · 02/01/2015 17:20

Still not heard a thing from him!!Angry

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/01/2015 17:42

Don't be angry, rejoice

Original poster
loganberry12 · 02/01/2015 17:48

Lol AF I'm angry for my daughter

OP posts: