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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Can't believe he could do this

84 replies

loganberry12 · 27/12/2014 19:25

You may have read my past posts me & ex split up after a second try which didn't work basically because he's a knob. But he hasn't even attempemted to see our 5 year old dc over christmas not even phoned to talk to her no card or presents nothing. Tbh its a relief for me but I can't understand how he can totally cut our little girl out of his life. She has mentioned him a couple of times over Christmas I've told her he's poorly bless her

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Original poster
loganberry12 · 03/01/2015 14:51

Tipsy my sister & daughter have been great helping me. Can't go to work tomorrow though as won't be able to stand on it for 9 hours which is a pain because I don't get paid if I'm off sick

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Original poster
loganberry12 · 06/01/2015 09:43

DD went back to school today very excited to see her friends. She said to me this morning can I see daddy later can he collect me from school. Bless her she's missing himHmm

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tipsytrifle · 06/01/2015 12:09

Hopefully your ankle is better. Yeah, I don't get paid if I miss work either. Anyhow, new year and hopefully things will improve for you. Have you spoken to DD at all about how things are now? I'm not sure what you say but age-appropriate truth seems the way to go. Others on here would know the actual words better as they have done "the talk".

BuzzardBird · 06/01/2015 13:05

He is a selfish, immature, cruel git. Bet you don't "miss him" now? I don't know what you can say to your DD other than to let her know it's ok for her to talk to you about it. Don't let her see you upset when she asks or she will clam up. Heartless prick doing this to her just to get at you. More important to hurt you than see his daughter...lovely.

Hope your ankle heals quickly. Thanks

Original poster
loganberry12 · 06/01/2015 13:23

My ankle is healing very quickly & I am able to drive. Back to work tomorrow 9 hours standing on it so hope it holds out. No buzzard I don't miss him at all its like a weight has been lifted & my relationship with my sons is great now. I just said to her as soon as he contacts me I will let her know & that he & mummy love her very much she seemed happy with that answer

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tipsytrifle · 06/01/2015 13:26

What a smashing answer and a lovely post logan Smile

Original poster
loganberry12 · 06/01/2015 13:56

Thanks tipsy coming on here helps me feel much more positive Smile

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Original poster
loganberry12 · 06/01/2015 16:16

Yay just won £95 on a scratch card positive vibes I thinkSmile

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BuzzardBird · 06/01/2015 16:48

Fantastic! Smile Things are looking up!

Original poster
loganberry12 · 06/01/2015 16:53

Added it up wrong it actually £100 which is brilliant as I lost wages last week because I couldn't work because of my ankle

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tipsytrifle · 06/01/2015 19:15

WOW - the universe really IS on your side! Fantastic news! Wine

Original poster
loganberry12 · 06/01/2015 19:18

He's just text tipsy saying are you going to let me see our daughter this year? Idiot it's him who forgot she existed now not sure what to do?

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tipsytrifle · 06/01/2015 19:29

If he wants a schedule of contact then I think this is where you need to figure out if you want supervised or unsupervised contact? I think this is the point other MN-ers are needed? I'm kind of wayyyyy beyond that kind of thing now.

For now I would try and hold off replying, get some responses on here first, if you can? The text is sarcastic to say the least .. this year pfftt

BuzzardBird · 06/01/2015 19:38

Can you get someone else to contact him asking what arrangements he would like to see his daughter?

He is just after a reaction from you at the moment. How do you know he is tipsy from a text?

Original poster
loganberry12 · 06/01/2015 19:46

Lol buzzard I was answering tipsytrifle

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BuzzardBird · 06/01/2015 20:11

Blush oh yeh! Grin

Original poster
loganberry12 · 07/01/2015 09:08

Pissed off now I relied to him about 2 hours later telling him yes of course he can see her every other weekend Saturday to Sunday he has responded! Feel like he only text to see if I'd reply as I haven't had any contact with him & ignored his text about the bloody ladder! He's an arsehole grrr

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Original poster
loganberry12 · 07/01/2015 09:08

Hasn't replied

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BuzzardBird · 07/01/2015 09:56

That is why I said get someone else to contact him. :(

tipsytrifle · 07/01/2015 12:32

I had forgotten about that darn ladder! You're more than likely right about the purpose/agenda behind his snidey text. Don't follow-up at all. You're doing fantastic, loganberry Brew

Original poster
loganberry12 · 07/01/2015 12:56

No I'm going leave it now see if he gets back to me before Saturday if not I'm going to ignore him

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Original poster
loganberry12 · 08/01/2015 08:19

He text me last night he's having her this weekend! Hope he sticks with this arrangement

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Original poster
loganberry12 · 08/01/2015 21:41

I'm feeling sad & lonely today I know it's because I've had contact with ex & I can't seem to shake the if only feeling tonight ??

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tipsytrifle · 08/01/2015 21:47

I really don't think he should be allowed to dictate. If you agree to this contact then I think starting with this w/e it is generally every other w/e? Would you be ok with that? If so then this w/e would be his but not next, so he needn't even ask ... how about you set the pace a little? Have it in email or text so it's crystal clear?

If only's are cripplers but we all have them. You're doing really really well, loganberryFlowers

Original poster
loganberry12 · 08/01/2015 21:57

I told him that he could have her every other weekend tipsy starting this weekend so it was me who dictated really. It's just that I've had no contact for a few weeks & was feeling positive then just a few words in a text from him has made me feel shite again. I want my DD to see her dad so I'm happy with the arrangement but for some stupid reson I feel emotions for him still rediculous I know I've got to get strong & stop it detAct my emotions for the sake of my DD

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