help me play MIL bingo and survive this week

[onemiddlefinger]

First of all I have to admit I don't know how MIL bingo works exactly
but it sounds like it could help in making this week a bit more bearable.

My ILs are visiting and the first 2 days were ok, but yesterday evening I came home to find MIL ironing DH's clothes, ALL OF THEM.
We live in a small flat, there were clothes everywhere in the living room sofas and on the kitchen table (basically all our living area surfaces), she was ironing with a loose cable in the middle of the room whilst my 2 year old was running around. Later I barely managed to stop DS from pulling the iron on top of himself as she had stepped away for a second.

Also my DH and FIL had (totally unnecessarily) changed the kitchen tap to some horrible giant monstrosity that ILs had gifted us, apparently it was expensive so I should be grateful. All I managed to say when I walked in the kitchen was "oh, my god!", DH realised that I didn't like it and was then sulking for the rest of the evening as he thought they had done such a good job. I think he is under the influence (of his parents).

I'm not even going to list all the patronising remarks that MIL likes to dish out at regular intervals - these come as a norm with her.

Please explain the MIL bingo concept to me, i'm worried I will otherwise do or say something horrible soon...

I read so many stories about MILs giving DILs a hard time about not looking after their darling little babies. What if the fathers of these DILs started telling the DPs that they are not earning enough to keep their daughter in the manner to which she is accustomed. of course not because grown women would hate that Would people suddenly get a concept of boundaries if the situation were reversed?

Vivacia,
They are leaving early tomorrow morning. I'm slightly worried about all that snow, but so far nothing in the South East thankfully.

Funky,
Thanks for the offer, we are in London though

Hola,
I did tell my dad about all this, he found it funny and told me to get all my clothes out for when they next visit, so he can iron them.
But seriously he would never critisize or behave strangely to my DH. And yes, if he did, I would put a stop to it fast.
I think it's mothers that get away with a lot more, specially mothers of sons.
I will try and remember all this for when my DS is grown up and not be a pain to his DW.

Blimey. I think there is probably going to be payback for Ironing Boardgate. I would imagine tears and possibly a distressed Skype call to the other sister at minimum.

Hopefully you can get through the rest of the day in peace at least Surely there is nothing left of DH's to iron?

Im really sorry for your troubles but Ironing Boardgate sounds hilarious!

The having to sit there in silence for an hour whilst a Skype conversation was conducted is also worthy of a Mike Leigh film. What did you all do? Try to read books? That was the perfect time to get the ironing board out and ostentatiously iron everything your ds owns ...

She's such an amateur. Surely when you are in an ironing stand-off, you break away, march to the sink and start scrubbing the kitchen floor on your hands and knees? But make sure you only scrub the area around the kitchen table that your darling son sits at.

In fairness with the penis tap they can probably just sluice the floors like they do in prison, meandjulio

But what about rearranging his cupboards and darning socks? I must say my own grandmother did darn socks when she first visited my dad and step-mother. My step-mum quite rightly was having none of it "I just throw them away and buy more". Hee hee.

I think next time she visits you could do a deal with the local Oxfam and have her iron all their shirts.

Or take in some ironing from the neighbours and turn a profit.

Or hide the iron and board at a friend's house and claim you've thrown them out. You will need to take your next 2 birthday presents to Oxfam though

Itsnotsnowing, I trust your MIL and SIL won't be invited next Xmas? Or if they are, that you'll be going elsewhere? Why the hell should you have to put up with all that in your own house?

Can you make sure the tea towel is a tragic victim of a frying pan fire and leave it charred and tattered where they can see it?

Tribpot,
We were either on our phones or playing with DS, who at one stage started making lots of noise with his toys, perhaps he had enough too...
At sluicing the floors

GothMummy,
That's ok, I think if someone else wrote it I would find it funny too, i just wish I wasn't in the middle of it.

Itsnot,
I feel for you, to have MIL and SIL be equally bad must be horrible.

The rest of the day was thankfully quite uneventful. There were 2 skype calls to the other sister (less loud than the first one)
And then DH broke a chair and MIL took over repairing it which included banging with a hammer very loudly during DS' nap, but it got fixed in the end and DS had a good sleep regardless, so that went well.
Funny thought that DH and FIL sat watching tv whilst MIL fixed the chair. But it involved gluing and apparently that's her specialty (don't ask)

My MIL is very like this too. She once chucked out my kettle while I was at work and replaced it with a new one. Apparently the old one was disgusting.
On the surface of it that could seem a kind thing to do so I couldn't complain, but it was really her exerting her authority. She also rearranged my kitchen cupboards and when showing me told me how much better it all was.
She cleaned my SIL's oven and saved all the dirty cloths etc to show my SIL when she got home. And she's given me antibacterial dishcloths for Christmas more than once.

TRIBPOT, don't accident the tea towel!
Put it in a frame & whenever they come round, put it on the wall. Tell her that it's so precious to you that you love to show everyone what a beautiful gift she gave you for Christmas.

She fixed a chair? Can you get her up on the roof to check on the tiles whilst she has a mind?

It sounds as if she is used to waiting on FIL (and guests?) hand and foot and so doesn't know what to do with herself when she's a guest. I take it, however, you don't get the royal treatment when you visit the House of Perpetual Darkness?

Frances, I love that plan. The framed teatowel. Love it. Even better if it's just a plain checked one or something.

OP, I'm hoping you are enjoying a peaceful, in-law free day at last.

Eventually he was able to stop her, by saying that the iron is in the bedroom where DS sleeps, so can't go and wake him.

fatal flaw your DH needs to be assertive this means telling it like it is - ie "No we/I dont want you to iron" not the fudged/egg shell walking "you cant because iron is in room where DS is sleeping"

Does your DH really think it acceptable that she:

1)Goes into your bedroom
2)Rummages around in all your drawers and cupboards
3)Picks out just his clothes to iron
4)Goes back into your bedroom and closets to return his clothes.

This is such an invasion of privacy and demolition of boundaries.

Worst was when he was enabling and compliant by ringing you at work to find the hidden iron for her to iron more.

Your DH urgently needs to speak with her directly and tell her that you want her to respect your privacy do not want her to go in your bedroom or your cupboards or do any iron.