help me play MIL bingo and survive this week

[onemiddlefinger]

First of all I have to admit I don't know how MIL bingo works exactly
but it sounds like it could help in making this week a bit more bearable.

My ILs are visiting and the first 2 days were ok, but yesterday evening I came home to find MIL ironing DH's clothes, ALL OF THEM.
We live in a small flat, there were clothes everywhere in the living room sofas and on the kitchen table (basically all our living area surfaces), she was ironing with a loose cable in the middle of the room whilst my 2 year old was running around. Later I barely managed to stop DS from pulling the iron on top of himself as she had stepped away for a second.

Also my DH and FIL had (totally unnecessarily) changed the kitchen tap to some horrible giant monstrosity that ILs had gifted us, apparently it was expensive so I should be grateful. All I managed to say when I walked in the kitchen was "oh, my god!", DH realised that I didn't like it and was then sulking for the rest of the evening as he thought they had done such a good job. I think he is under the influence (of his parents).

I'm not even going to list all the patronising remarks that MIL likes to dish out at regular intervals - these come as a norm with her.

Please explain the MIL bingo concept to me, i'm worried I will otherwise do or say something horrible soon...

Either of these would be lovely.

I am just having a flashback to an incident involving another friend's mad MIL.

She invited me round for a cup of tea - we are sitting at her kitchen table whilst her MIL is walking along the kitchen work surfaces cleaning the tops of the overhead kitchen units -- MIL is dressed in a very posh formal tweed suit with coordinated court shoes, costume jewelry and silk neck scarf.

I said to my friend what is she doing - friend said just ignore her - she always does this the day she arrives -- she had just flown in from Italy 2 hrs before!!!!

Suburban my first thought seeing that tap was "big dangling cock".

OP do lots of oohing and aahing and running your hands up and down the tap in front of the PILs and DH. He'll soon change it back!

Wow careless dad you have put it so much better than me:

I’ve seen the no boundary situation where there was the tearful ‘But we were only trying to help’ when unwanted, and discouraged, interference created the opposite effect

This thread is providing some much needed comic relief! I'm bracing myself for tomorrow (staying at MIL's). I wonder how early is too early for g&t?

OP could you accidentally somehow cover the tap in turkey juices? Therefore proving that it's impossible to keep clean and so it must go.

HTH.

I wish my MIL was alive because she was lovely. Plus it would mean that we didn't have to have FIL tossing around on the sofa downstairs in preparation for another day of moaning at the dc and passive aggressive comments 'I didn't know that you could cook sprouts like that, not quite the same though is it as sprouts which have been boiling since June ?' One for the FIL bingo card. Is it so bad that I am googling hotel rooms for the reminder of the stay? Will bring it up as a suggestion whenever he mentions how badly he slept.

I actually like your tap OP despite it having a flaccid penis feel about it

Op, Your mil sounds like mine.

I can't believe your pil came round with a new tap for your house and fitted it. You have to use it everyday! Why didn't your dh say " hold on, before we fit it, let's wait to see if my dw like it?" I expect your mil was desperate to get it fitted before you got back. An early Christmas present of a completely unnecessary and unwanted tap? That's odd enough but to fit it!

Your dh shouldn't have fitted it. And you appear to have dragged up some ancient memory of you liking a tap and how your dh must have mentioned it to his pil etc etc. what? It's not your fault and it's completely normal to be pissed off. With all of them. And don't be grateful if you're not. Would you pop round her place and change the taps?

I take it your trying to distance them isn't working so well? what distance are you talking here? Are you supposed to pop round every weekend?

re ironing whilst your toddler is there- that's so dangerous and thoughtless. She has handed you a reason never to let her have your ds alone. You have to stand up for yourself and your ds on this. And your dh put your ds at risk fir her. Why didn't he just say no? If she loves her dgc so much she would be doing drawing or something with him. Not ironing!!!

When DH and I first moved in together mil did our washing in her first visit then proceeded to hang out a set of awful red lacy shit from Ann Summers dh boughtlacy basque and underwear from Agent Provocateur of mine on a clothes horse in the middle of the room. More a case of the underwear than the elephant iyswim, doesn't help Fil is a bit of a perv.

They both carried on taking over our house, inviting people to stay, commenting on the cleanliness of it on arrival, buying shit tablecloths, ignoring me for almost 4 days on holiday together, going crazy at me for missing an event they organised (and not letting them take my 4 month old dd) because my mum had been rushed into hospital. It was at that point dh lost it with them and they've been perfect ever since plus we only see them twice a year.

Happy Christmas!!!

Love all the suggestions and the green apron, my MIL would probably honestly thank us and use it in the garden or smth, she is a bit funny too.
This thread is really helping, i'm now almost hoping she would do something crazy so i could report here.

It's strange, i thought of a flaccid penis too when that thing was dangling in front of me whilst i was trying to wash up, but never mentioned as i thought i must just have a dirty mind, glad to hear it's not just me. It is a bit grotesque.

Another thing i have forgot to mention that a small rug/mat has appeared in DS' room. There is already a rug there, so this new one is next to it now and it has fruit on it - nothing to do with DS' room's decor at all.
I suspect it's another gift that MIL has already found a place for.
In their place there are seemingly millions of rugs, sometimes on top of each other, i wonder if she is trying to make a start here.
The second she leaves though this rug will mysteriously disappear never to be seen again.

My mil redecorated my dc rooms when we were away. Soon to be ex dh refused to acknowledge it was a tad intrusive and was very bitter about how ungrateful I was.

Get rid of the rug. Why are you waiting for her to leave? Just say " how on earth did this get in here? And put it by the door. If she says she bought it say " well that's kind but we don't need any more rugs. Do you want to take it home when you go or I'll drop it at the charity shop"

The point is not whether the tap is nice or useful or whatever. The point is that you can't go to other people's homes and replace things without their permission. Ask your husband how his mother would feel if you sneaked into her home, threw away her napkins, and replaced them by others you thought were prettier. All with the very best intentions, of course.

at the rug. Is she attempting occupation by stealth?

Get rid of it before yours mysteriously disappears to the same place as your tap.

Ah but Distance, the MIL hasn't replaced the OP's napkins. She's just brought her own for her own personal use. Like bringing her own plates or bedding or something. BLOODY ODD. Maybe the tap is the same and the parents-in-law intend to uninstall it and take it away with them / donate it to the local abattoir at the end of the visit?!

With the rug I would simply roll it up and hide it when no-one's looking. When they ask where it is, deny point blank you've ever seen it.

Yes, I mean she seems to be very attached to her napkins, and can imagine her reaction if you were to replace them.

As I said, the point is not whether the tap is good or not (it might well be a great tap). The point is that this is a serious intrusion. Your home is your castle. People cannot just waltz in and change things at their whim.

And your husband should be considerate enough to bear in mind that this is YOUR home too.

Thank you for taking time from your Christmas day to comment on this!!

For the tap DH is just as much if not more to blame, he played an active role in installing it and seemed to think all was good...
I will start referring to it as "penis tap"from now.

The rug is now rolled up and stuffed into a cupboard and i have "accidentally " thrown one of the napkins into the laundry bin, oops!

MIL used the other napkin (i wonder how they will know which one is which) to wipe DS mouth , and then placed it on his lap, DS took it and threw it on the floor! I'm proud of him!

yay DS! he knows how to handle them =)

Hope you're surviving.

Coudl print out a small pic of a flaccid penis to tape up by the tap? It'd get the message over ...

I have four sons who have all flown the nest and are in committed LTRs. I simply wouldn't DREAM of walking into any of their homes and changing things around - even though they still take liberties here, the home where they all grew up! If they ask me to do things for them, I'm more than happy to oblige, but they all have other halves who also have views about what they want in their homes. The sheer arrogance of rearranging another person's living space is breathtaking. My mum was a bit like that: once she decided to clean our oven and asked me for a metal scraper, which she was going to use on non-stick linings! On another occasion my parents had been babysitting for us and when we came home she had taken it upon herself to polish the kitchen floor so that it was like a bloody ice rink! DW set to immediately washing off the polish which led to a bit of an awkward scene and the 'I was only trying to do you a favour' plea.

In your position, I would be having that bloody tap replaced as soon as the Outlaws have gone and I would be having a stern talk with OH about boundaries. I am so angry on your behalf. But merry Christmas to you all the same!

Well I started off thinking this thread was funny - the MIL bingo card - and now confess I am a MIL but also a mother (obviously) grandmother, aunt, sister, cousin, friend etc. I thought the bingo card could be used for annoying people (ironically my DIL's mother who is a PITA...) but to be honest I think there has been a total and utter over reaction.

OK I can see the ironing thing was a bit odd and unsafe with the toddler around. I iron when I visit one of my sons (but I make sure I iron for all the family of course) and my DIL is happy for me to do it - why wouldn't she! But unless I've missed something that's all the poor woman has done. Oh and the napkins - tbh you all sound incredibly juvenile with your daft suggestions, and the thing about the mortuary apron is just ridiculous Ironically you lot all sound far more "batshit" than the MIL!

Re the tap - you did say you liked a similar one OP so why would DH think you wouldn't want one - and they bought if for a gift and fitted it hoping you'd be pleased...........and the rug - why the fuss - why is it stuffed in a cupboard. Why not just wait till they'd gone and then put it away. You sound a tad spiteful to me OP as do some of the other posters on here "call her on everything" "don't let her look after ds alone" etc etc. One day you will in all probability be MILs yourselves and I wonder what sort of DILs you will have ...........

I often wonder if the posters on these MIL threads are people who have poor r/ships with their MILs themselves.........

Oh, come on, NanaNina. It's one thing buying a tap and rug thinking that the recipient will like them - but you usually check with them first. Fitting the tap and placing a new rug and ironing your son's clothes without being asked to (and ONLY your son's clothes - making it very clear that you think your DIL is doing a bad job of "taking care" of her son)? And bringing your own napkins?

Not the worst offence in the world, no. But I think it's very rude and intrusive.

um nana. I think there's a lot of humour going on here ... I don't think anyone is actually serious about the mortuary stuff.

(btw, I have a really great relationship with my MIL and Im pretty darn sure she thinks the same - she's always offering help and she is warm, loving and generous towards us all; she's written me, only a DIL, into her will :o )

Nana, I think that you sound quite sensible ( and at least you iron everyone's clothes!) but I think op has probably posted as she says she is on the receiving end of lots of patronising remarks, she is trying to get distance from her pils ( hardly surprising really) her kitchen fittings being changed- really if someone made an off the cuff remark about liking a kitchen fitting the last thing they would think is that it would be imposed upon them!

The rug thing- sorry, but presenting it as " here's a lovely rug I bought you" is very different to sneaking it into the house and arranging it where you think it should go without saying anything. Honestly, would you do that? And why should op wait til she's gone so not to upset her? Why does op have to get upset instead? Op, you could somehow sneak it back to your mils and lay it in their bedroom:) without saying anything:)

My mil took it upon herself to redecorate my newly decorated dc bedrooms, which they had chosen the soft furnishings - sending the dc pics of her work, rearrange all my furniture and couldn't understand why I and the dc was so upset. I didn't even know she had a key! Completely bonkers!

NanaNina, things like the tap (especially) and the rug are meant to be fairly permanent items in someone's home. And if my (late) PIL had suggested that an item like that was a suitable present, then I would have been very unhappy if DP had gone along with it, without even asking me if I was happy about such a change.

It is a case of overstepping boundaries, making these alterations in someone else's home without any attempt at consulting all the people who live there.

Yes, it's the mother of OP's DH, but she doesn't live there, the house is nothing to do with her, and any changes to the house need to be a joint decision between OP and her DH.

DP and I don't make changes without consulting each other, and if his parents, or mine, had tried to do something that hadn't been agreed between DP and I, they would very quickly find it hadn't been a good idea.

Lavender I hope you got the key off your MIL. That was really awful, to redecorate like that.

Heh Bingo! My MIL brought her own napkin with her today :)

Not quite sure why she thought there wouldn't be any on the table.