My mother's been snooping

[mummyrunnerbean]

Not sure what to do- basically have discovered my mother has been reading all my emails for months. She's seemed oddly telepathic on a few occasions recently and today I was round at hers and said something about something I KNEW I'd not told her about. I pushed a bit about how she knew and she said that she'd 'guessed' (that I'd sent a photo of DS to my father, whom she is acrimoniously divorced from). After a bit of thinking, I remembered logging into gmail on her PC about six months ago. Popped to have a look and sure enough it was logging in automatically, I then checked her internet history and she's been on it every day after checking her own email in the morning. She's been into all my deleted and sent folders too, and though luckily DP and I don't email each other I saw from the history she'd read through an entire three year relationships worth of emails from an old boyfriend!!! Which from memory included a fair few eye-wateringly dirty ones . I'm so fuming about this- didn't say anything to her but obviously removed the automatic login and changed password. She has history with poor boundaries but as a breach of trust this really beats everything. Not. really sure how to tackle it though as she'll just turn on water works/ say she was worried about me since DS was born or since things have been difficult with my Dad etc. AND it's bloody Christmas next week and I don't want an atmosphere...

Hold your ground; you are bang to rights on this and NOTHING justifies her actions. Maintain a dignified silence and do not allow her to drag you into justifications. Repeat the same message over and over again - you had no right to read my emails. But me me me me - You had no right..... don't deviate and don't explain yourself; justify; or get caught in arguments. This is basic fundamental wrongness. All the other things you say about your mother are also no doubt true, depressed; upset; etc but none of that justifies outrageous disrespectful behaviour. If you tolerate this you can basically sign the contract that says she can do whatever she wants because her husband left her; life is unfair and absolutely none of it is her fault. If you want to be kind tell her to get her own counsellor and come back when she has insight into her horrendous behaviour and her belief system that she's entitled. As a new mum you don't need this madness in yr life take a rain check trust me she wont go away easily.