engagement ring

[chesram]

Hi I have recently had a mutual split with my fiancé. We got engaged 10 months ago. She said that if our engagement didn't work out that she would keep the ring and give me the money I paid for it. The ring was £1600-of which I paid £1000, she paid the rest.
When I asked for reimbursement she refused, I reminded her of what she agreed and she said " that was before I put £600 towards it".
She has kept the ring. Is that fair?

[Betrayedbutsurvived]

This sounds very familiar, have you posted this before OP?

[CalleighDoodle]

You wouldn't get anywhere near the price you paid for it. So once she took out her £600 i can imagine you being left with much anyway.

She sounds like she's had a lucky escape! I cant imagine saying yes to marriage if the proposal was 'will you marry me? Oh and pay towards your ring? Oh and finally, pay me £1k if we dont get married?'

Maybe wait a few years before proposing again...

[DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn]

Doesnt, if he's not asked for and doesn't want either the ring or the money, how does he know she won't give it? And why is he here complaining about it if he honestly wants neither?

Curiosity I imagine. Given I am not the OP I can not see inside his mind and can only go on what he wrote. He said that she said she would give it back in the even of a break up and he doesn't really want it back.

I cant imagine saying yes to marriage if the proposal was 'will you marry me? Oh and pay towards your ring? Oh and finally, pay me £1k if we dont get married?'

Well, what a good job that wasn't how the proposal apparently went then.

I do wonder why the tradition of buying the woman an expensive ring hasn't died out. It's the 21st century and I thought most women didn't want to be marked as a man's property. Very few women buy the man an engagement item.

[NewEraNewMindset]

American law must be different because when I watch Judge Judy ( I love me a bit of JJ). She always says an engagement ring is a gift in contemplation of marriage and if the marriage doesn't happen, ie the contract is not fulfilled, then the engagement ring is to be given back to the man by law.

[EhricJinglingHisBallsOnHigh]

I think your whole arrangement was weird.
Who discusses what they would do re an engagement ring if they break up? Weird.
Why would she want to pay full value for an engagement ring if she is no longer engaged? Weird.
Once you have bought a new ring it loses value so it's no longer worth £1600. I reckon the £600 she has paid is around the resale value so I don't think she is wrong actually. If she gave you £1000 she would be out of pocket because the ring is no longer new and it is no longer needed for its original purpose.

The lesson is, don't spend £££ on rings for women you aren't sure about. Or don't spend more than you can afford on gifts. Either one.

[themechanicalchicken]

Re the issue of fairness...

Youve actually paid an 'extra' 1000 haven't you.... Its a concrete amount.

What were the other circumstances around your relationship? Was it always 50:50 wrt finance? I wonder if your ex feels she has already 'earnt' this by other monies /services she provided during your time together.?