The Dating Thread 84.

[MadeMan]

Well, fancy seeing you here.

Really I'm not surprised Mr HT was curt but if you want to see others and are bothered about him living close then that's your prerogative!

Jesy I must've missed the kisses but all good and you have the right attitude if fun then great if another date then great too.

I spent the week between meeting Mr sexy texting each other but also him going to see friends/relatives which I did too all pre/post Christmas stuff etc so maybe that affected things. Maybe I'm overthinking things?

Super I was completely in the wrong and I should not have agreed to meet up with him so quickly particularly (as in my heart and head) at the moment I don't want to meet someone so local but not so that I can meet up with others!! As I mentioned before I'm very new to any sort of dating so a lesson was learned by me today...

I am guilty of overthinking everything too. Perhaps once the holiday period is over, see how it goes?

Hi really thanks for remembering me. I've recently started to think about dating and rejoined match. Was a bit bruised after being dumped twice in a year by blondgeeky and his predecessor geeky All good now in my world though

Watching this thread with interest. Been single since March last year after a 13 year relationship & coming around to the idea of dating even though it's really scarey possibly online dating which is even scarier

Really Met up with MT today for lunch, he's very sweet but also very passionate. Very unlike my exh so it will take some getting use to but its good. He's adamant that he is in love with me, I told him that its not easy for me to say I love someone. I think he might be confusing love and lust :) just going to see how it turns out.
The problem with starting to date someone is that you want it to work and neglect to notice things about someone that might not bode well in the future. So far we haven't spent a Saturday /Night together because he's had his kids or working. Not going to want a man who puts work before spending time with me, I'm fine with kids commitments.
Rioix
Your a rebel and breaking the rules. Watch out ladies we have a James dean type on our hands :)

Hold on, think Dean liked the men :)

Really yes I've also been sick past 2 days so have prob been over sharing that with him....

I'm overthinking this too and before with Kent Lad (ex) and another man I dated I swear I wasn't like this watching the phone.... At least at work I can be more elusive....

really at least you realised you were in the wrong and what you wanted etc. Nothing wrong there!

dont I remember you too, dating can be a complete minefield but sounds as if you've had a good break and are now ready which is good.

quirky I have to say I don't know what I'd do in your situation I'd be petrified but watching the thread and thinking of dating is good at least you're not rushing things.

2 more bits about Mr Sexy Blue Eyes - he's told me a bit about he's a 12 year clean alcoholic but the other day he went on a bit about me as DD of an alcoholic maybe going to meetings (my DF is dead tho) as I'd have issues (I've had a bit of therapy) and then he asked about contraception and if I still wanted kids (in his first message he'd mentioned he wanted kids like I do) when I asked him re kids he said he was interested. I've not mentioned kids at all apart from its in my profile blurb as a heads up. I'm sort of feeling overwhelmed and we should be having more dating fun. Opinions?

Quirky One thing I would advise is that I found I got more genuine men messaging me on old if my profile included details of my interest and passions.
You will still get the prats and pervs but you can ignore and block.
If messaging someone seems a big effort then don't waste your time.
Its not going to be easy to find someone, you might get on well messaging and have things in common but in the flesh no chemistry.
I have had dates with some interesting men and made the mistake of DTD on first date, don't do it unless its just sex and you won't feel emotional after.
I came out of a 12 yr marriage and found dating gave me confidence and you learn about what you want and don't want in a potential new partner.
Man I'm dating I actually blocked because i was having a I'm fed up with dating moment. But by chance ended up on another old date and we spotted each other. He looked loads better in the flesh, felt chemistry as soon as I saw him.
Remember that some people are photogenic and some are not, don't judge too harshly on profile pictures.
You have all the lovely posters on here to help or give advice, even a man to meet up with for coffee ;) You know who you are :)

gotta I've got to say I wish I hadn't sexted or Dtd so soon but it's done.... Hope i haven't killed it.

Super With Mr SBE, he's being very direct and open with you.
I had a Alcoholic Dad, a mum with a dependency on alcohol but now sober 10 yrs. I had a tough childhood and drinking was always a problem, I can drink sensibly and no issues to carry on.
If you feel you have dealt with issues then tell him you don't need to attend meetings unless its a part of his life you want to embrace. Seems a very big part of his life and any partner will need to be sensitive about.
I married a man who had mental issues that were always going to be a big part of the relationship, I thought he'd get better but he never did. I ended up trying to help but couldn't and its the main reason our relationship didn't work. Is he ok with you drinking ?
Seems heavy to start.
Normally drinking problems come from a separate issue that cause the need to drink.
Dating should be fun, embracing new possibilities and bringing out good parts of our personalities.
Would you want children with Mr SBE ?

Super I dtd early with MT and sexted with him, he's a very happy man :)
Sometimes we do these things, were only human.

Re recent comments about dating the thread... initially I thought this would never arise as I don't know where anyone is for starters! TBH I didn't think the rules were that serious - more a checklist...

Yes we all feel vulnerable starting dating again in midlife but ffs - we are adults & I hardly think people are unable to say no - to a cyberperson!

But I think the "rule" is nonsense anyway - anyone can PM anyone so we don't know what goes on off the thread. I note that Rioux has been very open in comparison to the women Bant refers to and since the rule didn't save him from these approaches he rather proves it is nonsensical.

Rioux You made me Smile :)

gotta it's really interesting to hear your views on the alcohol side of things.

I've told him i don't think I need to attend meetings and I don't think I do. Maybe a few to clear up my DF but he's dead now as I pointed out to MSBE.

He's fine with me drinking i just think he wants me to see what I'm getting into as he admits lots of his relationships didn't go well due to his drinking when younger. He's happy to go into pubs but not keen on bar culture.

He's actually told me the main reason for him drinking is an alcoholic absent father and grandfather and also as an only child with 2 tragic deaths of siblings that seemed to be the norm to drink and he thinks it was/is genetic.

He is fun don't get me wrong and does bring other sides of my personality and me with him out but I feel I want to tell him to go easy on the emotive stuff (although I confessed my bullying at work etc the other day). I do think we'll do more fun stuff together I swear with me he hasn't done stuff I've done but would like to. I think I would like children with him but only after a long hard talk and think on both our parts.

Yes he has been v open and direct re his alcohol and yes I know we're only human re Dtd and sexting. I do tend to sometimes test waters that way and see if compatible in bed so I'm not that guilty about that!

rioux you make me smile too and why not be on wine it is nye after all?!

Super Sounds like you have a good idea about MSBE, I say go for it and just see how it develops :), Best wishes for new year

Rioux I'm on the Vine too, hiccup :)

I think the no dating the thread rule is a pile of crap. Date who you want, you are all adults and can make your own mind up with regards to who you meet up with from the internet.

Totally agree Rose.

Oh gosh, can someone please repost the rules as want to know what rule 9 is???

Happy New Year Daters, wannabe daters and just the plain unsure

Pah, there is no contract that is signed when you post on the thread, no terms yoi have to agree to and nothing that is enforced or even mentioned by mn towers.

Just a handful of 'rules' made up by a few people who don't even post on the thread any more.... and I think the ' rules' probably started as general advice as lots of people start online dating and are guided to this thread. .. so it saved posters repeating themselves.

Everyone is a grown up, they can use their own judgement and do what they please

Good morning all,
Well start of a new year.

Some of you may know I was ill last October time ,could have been life threatening and for a brief time after I was ok lets live life but it all stopped which was stupid.
Woke up this am to the news that my ex is back with his gf well not confirmed but like my second mum posted on fb look forward not back so decided things have to change .

So as I consider people here my friends I have a vow lol

To look after my self physical and emotionally
Get out make friends
Take agency work it be scary but money is good
Spend proper time with my dog
Not get stuck in a rut again