The Dating Thread 84.

[MadeMan]

Well, fancy seeing you here.

Rioux Good sex is Very welcomed and tbh I am the kind of woman to get up and get dressed after sex without cuddling.
For me its trust that's most important and communication.
I am a romantic at heart though.
Anyways ignore me I am on my third glass of wine :)

Helena Thanks, love Bombing sounds about right. Will google it.

Hi guys mind if I join you and get dating advice?

I think if I start a thread I might get slaughtered I need daters

I'll post my problem n Id be grateful for any help

Two guys have asked me out - both next week - ive known them both about 9/10 months met both online (not OLD hobby related)

One ive already met in real life we get on brilliantly have a real laugh loads in common he's very attractive but I think he's for Christmas not for life.

The other i really like and admire as a person he's a lovely man I really enjoy talking to - ive not met him in rl - physically he's not as attractive but gentle good and kind but he's too far away n we are committed by children n parents to stay were we are now for years

Do I meet them both? Am I a bad person if I do?

Hi all back from date :-) it went well. Very nice , calm, sweet guy..
Have agreed to meet up again...
squeeks of course you meet them both !! After doing so then you decide which one if any ! You prefer... It's when you start dragging it in for weeks/months that you would be being a bit devious...

Sounds great new start :-) glad you had such a good time - calm n sweet is a great combo

As for me I think if it looks like all speed ahead with Mr life who im meeting Sunday I'll cancel Mr christmas if not I'll meet Christmas on Tuesday n have that for the fun it will be

though if im concerned they'll find out I guess it's wrong n I should decide now

Hi squeeks. I really don't think there's anything wrong with meeting both of them. It's impossible to make a decision without doing that - and to be honest I would say you could go on a couple of dates with each and at that point make a decision. Do they also know each other from online?

I asked out Mr F for a third date after getting advice on the thread and he said yes so we're going out tomorrow. In the meantime he's also suggested meeting for a coffee today as we're both Xmas shopping in the same town. So I'm feeling positive about this. I can't believe I'm actually going on dates, I had begun to think this day would never come!

And newstart, glad you had a good date. He sounds really nice. 'Calm' is such a huge plus point for me after my ex. Prior to that it wouldn't have occurred to me to notice.

Helena Looked up love bombing, MT is a psychopath if that's what he's doing.
He's picking me up today, maybe I should google How to tell if a mans a psychopath.
If he's trying to build me up to just destroy my confidence in the future then good luck. I grew up with no kind words and constant criticism, I don't get anything from flattery so that's probably why I find it so hard with MT.
If he does show any signs of being an abusive psychopath then I wont think twice about getting him out of my life. I have seen abusive behaviour from childhood.
Its scary really, I like to give people a chance but now I have doubt with MT. I did think it unusual for a man to be so ott with compliments.The compliments he gives me I have had before but not in the double concentration MT is giving me.
Do psychopaths get sexual anxiety, if he was a bad man then I wouldn't expect his two exg to allow him to see his children regular and stay with him.
Think I'm overthinking this.

Tortilla Glad to hear things are going well with dating. Mr F sounds keen have a nice coffee date :)

"I did think it unusual for a man to be so ott with compliments."

Nothing wrong with compliments if they're genuine. I probably come across as nonchalant and uninterested sometimes, but I give as many compliments to a woman as I would to anyone else (which is not many to be honest); I don't constantly compliment my mum or other members of my family when I see them.

If a date shows up and she looks nice then I will say she looks nice, but for me to sit there in a restaurant saying stuff like, "Oh what beautiful eyes you have" or "What great big large teeth you have" ; it all gets a bit like Little Red Riding Hood.

Hope you're all having a good time dating. I have reached a bit of a hiatus. Feeling rather burnt out and have no dates lined at the moment. Haven't had anyone message me on Match or Eharmony for a while but I presume that most people are preoccupied with Christmas ( usually I'm quite proactive but am in resting mode)

Is it true that dating sites go a bit crazy in January so they'll be plenty of new options?

Finally, I had 2 dates last week and was bit disappointed that the guy from last Sunday didn't get in touch. I wasn't sure if there was a spark between us but the conversation flowed pretty effortlessly. Is it worth sending a 'great meeting you last week. Hope you have a good Christmas' text or should I just let this one go?

"Is it true that dating sites go a bit crazy in January so they'll be plenty of new options?"

Possibly. It's the whole "new year, new start" thing like gym memberships.

Squeeksaway yes definitely see both guys. At first I felt awkward about lining up more than one date at a time but a) it's good to keep you options open until you find the right person b) the guys are doing the same thing.

"Hope you have a good Christmas' text or should I just let this one go?"

If it were me I'd let it go; it might look as though you're in desperate need of his attention during christmas.

I thought the same MadeMan. Thing is when I spoke to a work mate she said the way I spoke about him gave the impression that I liked him. I don't know about you but my married friends and team mates at work look forward to hearing all my dating stories. Just a shame that I haven't yet got past date one with anyone, but I guess it's all been good practice for next year.

Dolly just quickly on here but let it go.... I can't remember about January being busier for dating but I'm sure it is.

Very interesting out last night with friends of a friend (4 single women) we weren't looking at all (strictly come dancing unofficial after party) but 1 woman met a man in a bar and I know bars can be pick up joints but it was good to see us all just relaxed and talking if we wanted to men. And there were enough of us to turn down the unwanted attention etc. So don't knock that daters real life meeting!

Dolly I was the same as you re work told my colleague about my dates which she found amusing. She and another colleague then tried to set me up with an ex colleague of theirs (nice enough not really my type) and wanted to 'track my progress' with him eg when he was in town they'd try to get us all to meet. Good in a way but they ended up bullying me ( and over invested in my life).

It's good though to share your dating stories and sometimes get their advice but also tell people you're single and looking. You never know their cousin, neighbour etc may be looking too.

Mate date Rioux is this a date you know won't go anywhere but is through mates and harmless practice if you're out of the loop?

Yeah apart from my situation if you do know singles then why not introduce? Some people are loathe to do this tho and vice versa.

Just got back from cupa tea meet up , we chst along well, asked me over for tomorrow just a cups tea n a chat but he said we need to arrange a night out ,

Did give me a peck on cheek as I left x

There are varying degrees of psychopathy from the very extreme which is portrayed in horror films like Psycho to low level stuff like completely changing their behaviour towards you if you were to fall off your pedestal. Switching off feelings that they probably never had in the first place.
I speak from experience.