The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Driving Through A Sober Winter Wonderland.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Bus, he's called Gerald.... he takes us up and down and this wondrous land, searching high and low for Babes in need of some support, a warm place to sit and chat, and to have someone to listen to them.

So, grab a seat as we swing by your way. There's lots of hot drinks, food and fleeces, places to just be and places to sit around and chat if that's what you want.

We don't judge, because we've all be in your shoes, be they stilettos, wellies or crocs!...

We're just us, we're just honest and we just do what we can to help, if we can, when we can. Let's try and have a Merry Christmas without getting off our faces this year.

Here is the very first, emotional thread if you would like to see where this all started

And the last thread if you want to keep up!

Morning babes, Day 12 , made it by the skin of my teeth yesterday evening, the internal dialogue was horrendous.

Hello babes, I'm sorry I've not read the posts but I'm checking back on the bus, I've been in a strange mood but want today to be day 1 (again) so setting out my stall now and will come back to catch up later.

Gerald has a reset button now, Pop - for when any of us need to start again.

Morning Obrigada, the important thing is you did it. Day 12.

Sweet that sounds like my doctor's -you should arrange for earlier appointment- you need the support me thinks. We sound so similar in terms of not treating ourselves but sometimes we should especially if we're not spending on the WW.
You've just reminded me about tea pigs - not received my teabags yet - they do have some lovely stuff on website- good for pressie's too.

I've just been to doctors and am going back to work tomorrow- eek! Not been for 4 weeks and I will need to manage the stress to avoid WW.

Hi Pop

Obrigada you did it!

Beaches the same happens to me, one minute I'm thinking I am happy to never drink again and 2 minutes later I'm thinking I'll get a bottle of wine in a bit . It reminds me of when I stopped smoking

Sweet, take the emergency appointment, it's better to get in early so to speak.

Welcome back Popcorn, as Mouse often says "you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave"

Ruby, have you been off work sick, or is this just back to work after Christmas break?

Obrigada i've had a horrible chest infection that wouldn't shift so been off work for 4 weeks and although I still feel a bit rough I think I need to get back into it (although am going for an X-ray later to check chest).

Ruby, I don't envy you the chest infection, as a smoker I usually get a bad one at least once a year and it completely wears you out. Hope the x-ray is clear for you later.

Thanks Obrigada think it has helped with no booze though

Ruby, I hate that first day back feeling. That must have been a really rotten infection to keep you off for four weeks. Hope you're definitely well enough to go back - fingers crossed.

I suppose I am paying more attention to what my body is telling me at the moment, and right now, it's telling me I'm bloody cold - though everyone who comes into my office says it's hot - , but my face is burning and quite sore. I am a right old moaning biddy today, and it feels like it has been a very long day already. Should be home by six (though a bit more admin to do when I get there) to try to cuddle the cat.

Pop, do come back as soon as you can and tell us how you've been, the first couple of days can be really hard.

We're almost on the last page, should we all shout for Mouse? I feel bad when I know she is so busy . . . "Helloooo Mouse"

Hi babes,

sweet I'm pleased and relieved that you recognise the need to see your GP, that's so important, recognising your feelings and instead of turning to booze you are taking positive steps. I'm so very sorry your feeling so low. Most people spend more time at work than at home so be putting on an act for so long must be bloody exhausting.

I didn't get to sleep til nearly 4 this morning and the sleep was shallow in between visits to the loo so I feel your pain. I'm on decaf coffee today and I'm keeping perspective, I'm in my danger zone, tiredness, painful crohn's and very achy legs (the swelling in my intestines cuts the circulation to my legs). The tiredness gets to me so I need to be very vigilant but despite all this I'm confident I won't drink and TBH I've drink for less previously.

I defo draw strength from knowing you guys are going through all the same emotions.

I had very good intentions of clean eating today but my slump in energy sent me hurtling towards the caramel wafers and now I feel sick and annoyed with myself!!!!

How is everyone else doing???

Xxx

Baby you go through so much- poor you. Keep strong & avoid WW. Not surprised that you turn to caramel wafers, it could be a lot lot worse (I mean what you turn to not what you feel)

Thanks ruby xxx

Just had a major reality check. I was looking through dd1's pictures on her Nintendo, haven't switched it on for at least a few years. There was a picture of me a few weeks before I had dd2, OMG I look 20 years younger (she is 4) I'm also a lot lighter and I look, well happy. It made me sad, I was blissfully unaware of what lay ahead, the verocious PND and the drinking hell it would trigger. I love dd2 so much but it's not been easy, she is very very hyperactive and sleeps very little, she is very intelligent and with that very fly and ridiculously stubborn, it has been a long haul. I'm ashamed to say I've never really been happy since she was born. I must strenuously emphasise I adore her and wouldn't change a thing but looking at that picture I cried because I remember being so excited and happy and healthy I miss that "me" so much. I looked in the mirror and I look more like the mother of that happy woman. I honestly didn't realise the toll the last 4 years taken on my body, I'm horrified!!!!

Well if there is a turnaround point to trigger change that was mine, I'm actually in shock I never think about the old "Me" much but now I remember being full of life, full of fun, always scooting about seeing friends and feeling so lucky my life was so kind to me.

How the mighty have fallen eh xx

Once again sorry it's me me me, this is kinda my online diary, therapy even, I'm very emotional, I want to be ME again soooo much xxx

I think this is a great place to put thoughts down and be honest about ourselves, don't apologise anyone. We are all here for each other even if we only pop in every now and then or numerous times in the day. I for one have found this so helpful and is keeping me focused on my aim to be ME again.

Come on babes we can get there (whatever we are trying to get too)

to not too

baby use that picture as a wake up call. As your motivation. Can't remember the last time I was carefree and laughing and fun either.
Just back from the dentist so it ain't going to happen tonight ....

*Baby, not decaf!

Sorry, I shouldn't be flippant, you are having a tough day, it's just that when DS wants to cheek me he threatens to swap all my coffee for decaf. I know what you mean about photos though. I was still being asked for id in pubs well into my 30s, but over the last couple of years, I am very aware of how much I have aged - and if you have been having such a consistently difficult time, it is hard to stay dewy and glam.

I think the early-mid 40s are difficult for many women, because we have to reassess who we are, and adjust to the way society sees us in a way that I just don't see happening for men (particularly for me in HE, the little buggers are always 18 - 21, and there is a real difference in the way they respond to me and other female lecturers, as opposed to my male colleagues of the same age and older.

I've found writing here useful, not just for the wonderful support, but also the ability to look back at my thought processes - esp just before I dropped off and stopped posting in Feb and in July last year.

You need to put your legs up tonight, if that's possible, be nice to yourself.

Ruby my tea order arrived today, unfortunately, for the first day in six weeks there was no one home, so it is stuck at the post office for another 24 hrs.

Poor Ma - tooth all sorted or do you have ongoing treatment to look forward to (not)?

Sorted and sore. Just a visit to the hygenist to go.
Day 12 AF

Day 12, yes, pretty damn impressive!

Oh, Only Connect, laters.

Hi everyone,
Just wanted to say hello before we go into the next one!
Tough times here, for me, but no big deal really, in the big scheme of things.
Love you lots
T xxx

Also, you keep me going ??
Xxx

That should have been kisses and a smile!
X

thurso babe. Wassup? You OK?