The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Driving Through A Sober Winter Wonderland.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Bus, he's called Gerald.... he takes us up and down and this wondrous land, searching high and low for Babes in need of some support, a warm place to sit and chat, and to have someone to listen to them.

So, grab a seat as we swing by your way. There's lots of hot drinks, food and fleeces, places to just be and places to sit around and chat if that's what you want.

We don't judge, because we've all be in your shoes, be they stilettos, wellies or crocs!...

We're just us, we're just honest and we just do what we can to help, if we can, when we can. Let's try and have a Merry Christmas without getting off our faces this year.

Here is the very first, emotional thread if you would like to see where this all started

And the last thread if you want to keep up!

Busy is good Ma.

What is everyone else doing to keep WW at bay? I'm ordering a greenhouse, helping DS to bake some biscuits, booking some travel (though unfortunately not for me) and going out for dinner this evening - as designated driver.

Ha! didn't see we'd moved on a page! Morning Isinde, was hoping for the boing this morning but have lurgy instead.

Thanks for the low down isinda, I also looked back and see you have. Smock of smug, and some rather special shoes hoping, prying I'll get the pleasure of handling them.

Morning sober babes - last day of holiday (boo-hiss). Keep on keeping on

Day 5 tomorrow, hoping to have some boing in time for a busy week at work. I've just eaten the last of the mince pies (don't even like them) so I'm now getting ready to try and eat better in January as well. I've put on about 2 pounds but my body fat has gone up by about 3/4 %! Last year I did dry january and ended up gaining weight, I think I must have over estimated the wine cals and over compensated a lot.

sweet all I'm doing to keep the ww at bay is reading more. I find evenings difficult as I drink at home, usually in front of the pc or tv, and apart from reading there is nothing much else I can do on an evening. Well I could do housework but I think I'd feel resentful doing that, and would possibly reward myself with wine...

Annie at rewarding yourself with wine!! I've gone back to reading Game of Thrones after a break, I'm on Dance with Dragons part 1. What are you reading?

Morning 70

isinde your dictionary is great! We also have:

Roger the Regulated Roofrack - for those doing controlled drinking
Barry the Squid - for slapping Babes who get too self-pitying

And along the way we've picked up a camel, some horses, a polished triangle, a midget sailor, t'interbosies (virtual hugs) and a dog called Spirit

Morning babes,

I too had horrendous nightmares, I have them every single night. It started after dd2 and I think it was part of the reason my drinking started getting worse, I became so exhausted and traumatised by the nature of the dreams (death, children stolen, buried alive, parents dying, dh cheating) I have a huge imagination and they are like epic films and I wake up every day with my eyes stuck together that I needed wine to get to sleep.

Between the dreams and the PND, I was a wreck, although there only dreams they are so vivid and powerful they stay with me and I remember them, every horrible detail.

I'm only mentioning all this because the longer I go without wine the more vivid they become, that's when things go horribly wrong, I'm in that zone now, 2nd week sober and while my day mood is improving constantly, my nightmares are getting intolerable and I'm exhausted BUT this time I'm very self aware and keep reminding myself "it's not real", I'm having
a relaxing bath every night and listening to a meditation app, we'll see how it goes.

Reading has been a saviour, I love reading and it fills empty time. Anyone looking my favourite book of all time was "a thousand splendid suns" can't spell the author but it's in amazon. The island by Victoria Hyslop is also very good.

Right off for my walk, battery low on my phone.

Luffs you all xxx

Good morning, babes!

(Just wanted to write a sunny day; looked out and the fucking sun is playing hide and seek!)

So. Another 12hours in bed. I have to stop this before going back to work next week. But honestly, the less hours awake the fewer to suffer.
I'm in a mood for cleaning. But I need to buy vacuum cleaner filters for my (new!) vacuum.
Will probably go for a run. Even if it snowy and watery and what the fuck am I going on about?

Ok. I miss somebody that I used to know. That's the bloody thing with being sober. All the feelings are just so INTENSE and one REMEMBERS.

I miss how he used to bring me my coffee in bed on weekends.
How we could spend the whole day in bed surfing the internet or reading or chatting.
I really miss the sex with him.
I miss how sexy I found him.
How proud I was that he was my man.
How he would tell me jokes which got me into laughing fits.
How he loved my cooking.

But I have to be realistic about him too. He was shit with money and when dd1 was going through her two years of teenage hell he had an affair and our marriage broke down.
And it didn't help that I drank too much whenever we went out at the time because I just wanted to FORGET being a mum.

It took me four years to get over that all that (we've now been separated over six years!).
I thought I was really good after spending more than two years on my own, not drinking much, therapy; just to meet an abusive fucking alcoholic and now I'm back really, really missing my (still husband!) ex-ex.

RESONSIBILITY FUCKING SUCKS!!

Sorry. Feeling shit right now.

Ah khalisi all the feelings are intensified without the blurring edge of booze. Just feel free to vent on here and hopefully things will get better. Can you manage a walk if not a run? I've walked every day these holidays to try and stave off low mood and boredom. Dunno if it helps but it passes some of the time.
I know what its like to miss someone you want to be with...
indie good to see you posting on here again. Where is wry these days?
Love the bus dictionary, funny to see it all written down. We also have our small furry leader mousface who I hope is lurking and will come back soon.
Where IS the smock of smug by the way? Just with me being on day 4 an all......

Atisshoo, shoo, tishoo! D'argh!

ma you definitely deserve the Smock of Smug, not only for the AF but also for all that walking!

isinde I'm okay thanks, I realised last night that I was reluctant to go to bed, last day of the hols etc. and that would normally be an excuse to pour another glass of wine. Once I realised that, it became easier to handle. Tomorrow we have a new boss everyone who knows her says she's really nice, but I think people in our department will all be jockeying for position- although colleagues are mostly ok, I think they will be sucking up to her, and maybe the odd bit of laying the blame... We'll all have to be on our best behaviour for a while (I might actually get some work done )

How are you? Are you still at your dads?

khalisi are we going to see any really fit men in season 2? Cause all the Starks are chinless unable to grow proper beards; Jaime isn't exactly a heartthrob; Joffrey - although a little pet in his own way, I think might have issues ...

isinde thanks for the dictionary, I had worked out most of them but was seriously stuck on WB!!

joey hope all is well at work tomorrow, new bosses are horrible.

Well after day 1 on Friday I was all set for yesterday to be a successful day 2 until DH suggested splitting a bottle of wine with dinner (which then stretched to two). So today is day 1 (AGAIN) but I have planned the next few days dinners to be things that don't especially go with wine so that should help. I will remove myself to the sidecar until I can get a grip.

Joffrey is not a pet. He is a horror!
And sorry, khalisi but your brother terrifies me.
Ser Jorah now, .......there's a man! drool

Getting the dinner on, normally have wine doing this so let's see how I go ??

Keep at it jingle
Am off to the airport soon to get dd2 who has been two hours delayed. Then hopefully dh will be up and I can get this tree and decorations in the attic.slow day today.....

Hi Babes (slips on to the bus apologetically). Just looked in and wanted to send big hugs to Isinde. You sound so brave and resigned. I know what you mean about the body clinging on to life - my mum was in a hospice for a week, barely conscious for the last 48 hours. It took a while but eventually that image left me and now I remember her as she was, brave, and positive, and funny and loving. (she would pull a face if she heard me say that and say 'it's not like you to be so soppy', though actually it is)

You sound like you have been a tower of strength at the end. Please allow people to look after you too. I hope your dcs are OK. You are a star.

Sorry it's taken me a while to come out of hiding, am overwhelmed by the supportive messages . You really are a lovely lot. I didn't mean to make a dramatic or flouncy exit, I was just covering myself in case I got bogged down in myself and didn't post, and seem to have had the rather opposite effect of worrying you all . Sorry! What an idiot!

Day 4 here, and about to go our for a walk. Will read back in detail later. AF but still overeating. Work tomorrow. . I am on the warpath, I tell you. First call will be to the unions to tell them to get their bloody arses in gear. There is no hope for our careers now, but I am not going quietly.

Right, must go out before it actually goes dark.

Love to you all, and big hugs, especially to you Isinde

*ma your doing brilliantly ny lovely friend, I know how much you must be missing a certain person and all the responsibilities that you are dealing with, stay strong.

guggs show yourself.

love to all,

xxxxx

Hello again, babes. Slightly about my rant but thank you. I really needed to let that out.

ma, I called DSis and had a proper, snotty meltdown and then put on my running things and went for an hour long run! I even managed my horror hill for the first time since running again AND a second one! I feel flushed and strong and better.

alias Oh, does it get better! I'm so upset though that most the men I like don't last! But eish, I want to do things to them and with them which I cannot put into words...
But that Joffrey is the meanest by far!

I think I'd collapse if I ran for an hour!

ma I was in your neck of the woods earlier today and it was gloriously crisp and sunny - hope you got out for a few moments in that sunshine. I know it feels like shit at the moment but you're tougher than you think and you can fight the ww for a few more hours - go on.

isindie sorry to hear about your Mum - it's a time when things seems very surreal and laughter and crying all seem ridiculously close. This is SUCH a good time not to medicate with alcohol, let the real feelings (good and bad) emerge from time to time and don't try to drive them away.

I was away with a group of friends over new year - and this was the bizarre scenario.......

..... imagine a group of 50 year old women, all of whom are a little overweight, a little (or a lot) menopausal, who read too much information about health and diet..... So, every year when we meet up the food 'intolerances' or dietary plans become more and more complicated - we're not talking real allergies here, but self-diagnosed modifications to their diets. Wheat free, lactose free, food combining, no shellfish (causes gout flare ups), no red meat, organic only, high fat, low fat, blood-type diet, California beach diet..... on and on it goes.

So there is some compromise in eating habits so we can actually all make and eat a meal together (or at least something that is more than lettuce and broccoli with optional cream).

Following morning and everyone is justifying why they should stick to their preferred food fad nutritionally balanced diet. Here are a selection of the comments:
"Oh I felt so dizzy last night, I know that mushrooms always make me feel like that"
"I feel so heavy and lethargic - just the tiniest bit of lactose has a huge impact on me"
" I was sick before I went to bed - I wonder if pineapple contains glycophosphates"
"I have the most awful headache - I'm sure it's the malt vinegar which is a hidden ingredient in many foodstuffs"
"I know I'm not coeliac but reintroducing gluten brings on waves of nausea"
"My guts are in knots and I'm almost shaking - no more prawns for me."

..... venus looks towards the recycling pile - ah, so none of the above would be in the slightest bit linked to the gin, the wine, the port, and the stack of empty bottles. Nothing is said.

Happy SOBER new year to all of us