I cant remember if my boyfriend had sex with me when i was asleep

[wonkdont]

this is what i can remember or think i can remember:
woke up to do trying to put his finger up my bum, i pushed his hand away, went back to sleep
half awake i remember my underwear being pulled down when i woke up and dp 'rubbing' me i remember pushing his hand away again, pulling underwear up and fell asleep again.
then i remember waking up again to do trying to have anal sex with me, me pushjng him off then i cant remember so might have fallen asleep again then i remember him having sex with me but not for a long time and i don't remember the end of it.
I'm so so confused. If this actually happened, wouldn't i have been more awake/told him to fuck off.
things that might be relevant: wed been drinking (his idea, came home with giant bottle of rum, i only had about 3 drinks though so not drunk) he had about 4 or 5 but wasn't drunk.
he is obsessed with anal sex and i rarely agree as i find it painfull.

i just don't know how to find out what happened? I cant just accuse someone of something like that if I'm not sure.
feeling very weird this.morning so sorry if this doesn't make too much sense

OP you can and will get through this here for you. Keep posting. If you can't ring anyone keep posting here

I don't believe it has been established that he gave her tablets nor did he ply her with alcohol. Op said she served her own drinks. Also she doesn't know whether she dreamt the anal sex or not.

What's your point, Millli?

I don't believe it has been established that he gave her tablets nor did he ply her with alcohol. Op said she served her own drinks. Also she doesn't know whether she dreamt the anal sex or not.

Millie have you really had a dream like this one before? Where you dream something and them fall asleep again. And for that dream to be exactly how it us the RL and to have no weird stuff going on???

Seriously this was NOT a dream. It was the reality.

And btw it's not because their has irritated her own drinks that they can't have been spiked bshrvtristed that guy. Why would she have been particularly careful about not leaving her glass unattended?

For me, the fact that you've written this thread and would therefore consider him capable of this is all I need to know to really urge you to ditch him. How can anybody in a good relationship think their partner is capable of such a thing?

thefriar
I do dream like that after drinking. I go to sleep and then believe I've woken up and gone out/had phone calls/texted people/ had sex. In these dreams I can wake up and go back to sleep multiple times, it is so realistic. I've woken up and expected to find a mate on the sofa as I remember getting a knock on the door and her saying she needed to crash. It took hours for her to convince me she'd not been at my house let alone slept on my sofa. So you can't say people don't dream like that as some do. It's a condition when wires get crossed in your brain a bit like déjà vu.

I don't however wake up in pain, which the OP did millie. I think something definitely happened to her

Hi wonkdont,

I can't comment on the rest and am very sorry that you are alone and your life is not as you planned. Hope it gets better very soon and you make friends. Your son will help as you can meet other new mums.

About the original question: your boyfriend could have been trying to have sex in his dream. You can google, this thing exist. It happened to my boyfriend once. It was quite scary and I have known and trusted him for a long time. I had to wake him and it was not easy to wake him so a simple push would not have been enough. I am glad to report it never happened since.

I wonder what caused it to happen if it is indeed the case. Maybe the drink?

LandRoverDelma does that thing that exists also explain all of the other times he coerced her in to sex that she doesn't actual want and that causes physical hurt? Because otherwise it's not a very support thing to say to a young woman whose impression of sex involves that you have to do things you don't actually want to do.

What is his usual response when you decline his anal requests ?

He had this all planned out. Came home with a bottle of rum, his mum pills and spiked your drink. He then got to have anal sex with you, something you say he is obsessed with.

From reading all your posts this is what sounds like has happened. He is a very dangerous man and he got away with it so why wouldn't he do it again?

Hi Vivacia,

No, it does not explain anything done awake and in fact after being woken the person should behave like their normal self.

That's why I tried to write carefully, obviously I can't know what happened, this is just a possibility.

I don't think there was any mention that he'd brought his mum's pills with him merely that his mum has a lot of pills in her bathroom or did I miss a post

You ok OP? X

Reported

Reported here as well...

Reported

If the doubt is there that he may even be capable of doing this to you then you need to get out, I don't have any advice to offer, im sorry, but I do wish you the best with however you decide to handle this

Mumsnet please delete the trolls comment before the op sees it (I know it's a zombie thread but please!)

To the troll posting above, I feel sorry for you. It's really unfortunate that you find that funny.

Why don't you trick question him...

God that was good last night? What time was it haha?
Something along the lines...

RTFT before posting, people, this was from over half a year ago!

Woooops!