Dry 6

[sydneysideup]

This is the thread for the alcohol free. Happy and hopeful, continuing from Dry 5 here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a2137624-DRY-5?msgid=50943574
Whether it's been an hour, a day, a week or a year, join us here.

Thank you littledonkey, I read the preview and I've brought the book.
I never thought I was a runner (though I'm only a d cup!) but I can really recommend the couch to 5k app. I've just finished week 5, the 60 sec run in week one killed me, I did a 20 min on my last run..that felt awesome.
My DD has larger boobs (hh at one stage), she wears 2 sport bras when exercising that supports her.

Hi everyone!

wearymum the getting home and opening that bottle was the worst trigger time for me too. What worked for me was alot of the tricks that teapot has mentioned, but also,- LITERALLY- changing the habit. I work from home, so my day more or less finishes with the school run. I would walk in the door at 4 pm and open the wine. Simple little changes helped..... it sounds silly, but I would walk in the door and the first thing I would do is go and have a hot shower and get changed into slobbing clothes. Just that 6-7 minutes of change just threw my mindset out of 'Home. Drink'. Then it was relatively easy to get a cup of tea, get the supper on etc. I also re-jigged my evening routine...... so in the summer DS and I were going to the park almost every day for a bit. We had also gotten into the habit of eating in front of the tv while I poured glass after glass. I started setting the table with candles and nice china and lingering over dinner, then getting a cup of tea and sitting with DS while we reviewed his reading and so on. I find that once I get past the first twinge of desire, then I am fine..... and the twinges get less. In the early days I was having to almost physically restrain myself at trigger times..... i would think 'Wait ten minutes then decide if I want a drink'. Often after ten minutes I did not want it any more. On bad days I would have to wait for a great many ten minutes, but it does get easier.

I have a number of sobriety books on the go, and I often have to take a few minutes out to read a few pages. I have also collected a number of articles about alcohol abuse which i save so I can re-read them when i need reminding that drinking ISN'T harmless and it IS harming me.

haha! don't get me started on running it saved me and still does. If I ever get any kind of urge for a drink, which is luckily, extremely rare now, I go running. I really have got I to it and am so so glad. (did i ever mention the 10k I did )

I started when I was still drinking, but when I decided to stop, it was so good it was there. I think a lot of ex drinkers become mad exercise freaks - it really is chasing another high.

Dh got some anti D's from the doc and is going to get some counselling. I'm really proud of him for doing this. He's a real gruff midlander from a big family of boys, so it really has taken a lot. It shouldn't of course.

In bed, with hot chocolate. Really good to see everyone - have a peaceful night x

I love hearing about your running Biggles. :) A friend of mine is planning to to do the Paris marathon in March..... she started couch to 5 k THIS week!!!!!! I want to zip along and watch her.

to your DH. I hope he feels better soon.

Forgot to mention to wearymum the powerful tool of - sober treats! Reward yourself for being alcohol-free! Make it a joy, rather than a punishment. I was on Belle's Team100 also, and she recommends every second day, but you might find something small every day helps. It can be something small, .... but you are saving so much by not drinking that you CAN afford it. I also keep a record of my sober treats (I am a list maker) and it is nice to see something tangible. Recently my sober treats have been fluffy slippers, really lovely knitted mittens, things like that.

I think also, what has helped me was changing my thoughts around alcohol- when I first joined this thread way back in March I felt fear, and shame. I felt powerless, I felt self loathing. Alcohol was tied up with what I knew about myself. I wondered what would be left of me if I removed drinking. What I have found is that everything is better, life is so much better. So now 'not-drinking' has become a joy, and an adventure and a pleasure.

Sorry for the essay. :)

That's fantastic re. your DH Biggles. Excellent news that life with your mother on Christmas Day was bearable too.

I used to be really into running, it gives a great buzz. Sadly I ended up getting injured more often than not so have had to stop it. I don't know what the consensus is but I would think that it's probably a good idea to get a bit of sobriety under your belt before you start 'adding on', in terms of lifestyle changes. When you first stop drinking you can get really high on the possibilities for your life, and take on loads and loads of changes (I seem to recall starting a juicing fast after a couple of weeks, deciding I wanted to learn the piano, etc etc...!) I think the phenomenon is called 'pink clouds'; for me it felt as though as soon as I lost the millstone around my neck that was alcohol, I got very over-excited about my new life and wanted it all to happen at once.

Corn - great post, sums it up perfectly :)

How weird that it is new years eve! hadn't really noticed it. Last year was my first sober nye and dh had got me some gin and tonics as he thought I would probably have a couple! I had only got a couple of months then so I totally get it (didn't though - it was hard..)

Now though - blimey, a whole calendar year and 14 months in total, it doesn't quite seem real. I said the other day that it has taken sobriety to actually realise who I am, and I'm quite a nice person I think .

A year plus of waking up and actually getting up, a year of not cringing at what I may have said or done the night before, a year of not panicking in case the alcohol runs out, and a year of finally being able to speak to my mother assertively and confidently.

God though, I'm still very imperfect. Still lose my temper, still sneak the odd cigarette , still get frustrated and sad, but it is just a different way of life.

I totally recommend it.
Sales pitch over.

HAPPY NEW YEAR lovely lovely bunch xxxx

Ugh fell off the wagon two nights ago. Raging with myself. I think the problem was I'd built up in my head that being AF at Christmas was going to be great, I was going to feel wonderful etc. Instead I got a bad viral thing and felt like absolute shit all Christmas. Of course looking for support from ex to help with dc was a no go so had to struggle on through it despite wanting to curl up a die under the covers. Was a huge disappointment.

Its an excuse I know. I suppose I expected how to feel if the dc were sick which is usually what happens but not myself.

Still back at it and the anxiety yesterday morning brought me back to reality. Stocked up on loads of fruit and veg to give my immune system a boost. Relative of mine was taken into hospital over Christmas and they now know its her liver caused by drinking. Don't know how bad she actually is but bad enough to be very jaundiced and transferred to the liver ward. Ddad even talking about knocking drinking on the head for a while as its made him think after visiting yesterday.

Hi broken just seen your post and wanted to respond. Well done for posting and not giving in to the slide back down the slope. A blip is a blip, regrettable but over now. Feel that hangover, all the associated awful feelings, write them down and then let them go.

One day at a time. Don't drink today. Tomorrow you'll wake up clear and clean, you'll be starting a whole new year alcohol free and you can leave the old booze drinking you behind in 2014, shut the door and walk on into freedom.

Biggles look at you! A brilliant achievement well done! Sending you a virtual high 5 and a glass of pink lemonade.

Still house full of tummy bugs here but happy and sane. A lot of that sanity is down to you lot on this thread so a huge great Happy New Year to you all.

Also broken do you think you may be repeating destructive patterns related to your old relationship w your ex? I only ask because I'm aware that arguments or resentments I feel towards my DH can be a trigger for me.

Morning all
Another runner here who completely agrees about the value and benefit of running as a natural endorphin high. Corn your mate who's running a marathon in March better get a wriggle on!! I ran the London in 2011 which was April 17th and started marathon training on Boxing Day. She's going to run out of training time otherwise.
Biggles right with you on the one whole year alcohol free and how great I feel and how much more I like myself.
eggshells tough situation and completely agree with Sydney
weary agree with littleleftieteapot and corn - all out immersion in not drinking plus I used a tool called the 15 minute rule ((ahangoverfreelife.com/2014/01/03/the-15-minute-rule/))
DD's birthday tomorrow so no hangover will be a bonus for the early morning wake!! Have a great night everyone and thank you all for your support :) See you in 2015

You're probably right Sydney. Its the sickest I've been for years and yes I was really pissed off when as per I have to struggle with it when he so much as sneezes he cant take dc. Didn't mind so much when I thought he had to work as he kept telling me but then I found out the next day it had been cancelled and he went on the piss instead. I have really learnt to take a step back this year and not get so annoyed when he's an asshole but felt totally taken for granted this time. Anyway it is going to be a lovely sober new year for me and feel fresh and clear tomorrow (and learn to step even further back).

Another one who loves the runners high and the mood stability it brings. Have been a lazy sod the past six weeks as I have an inflamed nerve on my foot and waiting for my referral for the podiatrist to come through but after reading about it, it shouldn't do any harm to try and run on it.

Hope you have a lovely day with your dd's birthday Lucy and happy new year to you all!!

Don't worry broken it's just a blip.

It's such a hard time of year not to drink, especially when you were feeling a bit low and sorry for yourself. You just reverted back to an old habit, something you had used as a crutch before. Thing is, you know now that it isn't really a crutch and it makes things worse not better.

I am planning to walk every day when at work during 30 min lunch break ( I usually eat at my desk) and on other days, weekends and working from home days, I will go for a walk/run thingy.

I have ordered a sports bra. Can I run in converse or do I have to splash out on proper running shoes? I live practically backing onto a National Park stealth boast so I won't be running on pavement/concrete, it will be mud/grass.

Thanks runners

LittleDonkey recommend getting down to a specialist sports shop and getting some proper running shoes fitted where they can check your gait. I have over-pronation which I would have never known without that fitting.
Thanks eggshells for birthday wishes for dd :)

Brief dash in and out to say hi. :)

broken- blip, not slip. :)

and happy birthday to your DD Lucy.

all.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Hi all
Sorry to budge in. Newish to mumsnet and just found this thread. Got a fairly long history of getting sober or not sometimes. I am really loving living with not drinking but it is not always easy. Have embraced the AA way of life and find a lot of support there. I have survived Christmas and am away with the family now for new year. But my god, all these drink adverts everywhere.

Welcome mortil2 :) Happy that AA is working for you and that you've made it through Christmas. We need sober blinders on at this time of year don't we? It all ends tomorrow for another year though with Jan 1st - phew!

Thanks Lucy. Yes, cooking a great dinner and then we will have fireworks to see in the new (traditional to where we are for our Hols). Back to work in the new year after a couple of years off battling the alcohol.

Wow - congrats on battling and winning over the booze :) New Year - new job, how exciting! Have a great dinner and fireworks.

Happy New Year to everyone!!

broken - extremely impressive you getting straight back on the wagon, sounds like a case of feeling utterly hard done by (justifiably so with no back up and being ill over Christmas). As a fellow single-parent I know a lot of my drinking after separation was due to feeling like I 'deserved' to do whatever I wanted because I spent most of my life having quite a hard time - particularly with my ex himself, who was (and is, and always will be) an utter arse. I have a very strong 'fuck it' reflex when under a lot of pressure, which has got me where I am today...

Welcome mortil and congrats on sober Christmas etc. I haven't noticed the preponderance of alcohol ads due to my meagre TV consumption only due to being obsessed with Netflix but I have found the whole Christmas/New Year experience a bit harder than I thought. I can't remember a sober NYE, apart from a very sleep-deprived one I had which was two weeks after my DTs were born. Everything feels just that little bit more real this year... not only the celebrating, but also my thoughts about the year ahead. I feel as though I'm going to be able to make some tangible improvements and I'm looking forward to them, rather than pie in the sky schemes for personality overhauls and mammoth weight loss.

Teapot I share the Netflix addiction joy - shall be bingeing on Breaking Bad this evening
We're living it large with a curry, salted caramel sponge pudding and cream and I'm on the Becks Blue.
Wrote this post today which is my gratitude for the last year sans booze - should you be feeling deprived www.ahangoverfreelife.com/2014/12/31/reasons-to-be-cheerful/
See you on the other side!

Hang on a minute Lucy, I think I treated myself to the exact same sponge pudding at a friend's over Christmas... is it Waitrose?

Cuzza here too, then settling down to watch more of the Good Wife, and hopefully in bed for a very restful night. No alcohol, and the children are at their dad's for 4 nights. We've had a lovely day out today on the Southbank. Top stuff. :)

Not got ticket to watch the fireworks down on Southbank then?
Oh yes the pudding is aldi waitrose
Sounds like a top night!

Not this year Lucy although I did do that a few years ago, along with tickets for the Royal Festival Hall because my favourite band (Super Furry Animals) were playing on NYE and taking over the whole building. Ended up having to walk all the way home, and found the whole night very annoying. I've had some corker NYE's over the years, but that wasn't one of them!

teapot is this your first new years eve sober? I was in fact sober last year but just couldn't keep it going that time. I am determined to make it work now.
The pudding sounds great, have to give it a try when I get back to UK. Have a lot of really yummy chocolate ice cream to get through. Happy new year to everyone

Hello again!

Welcome mortil. :)

Don't have netflix, sounds like it might be a must. Have spent the past few hours watching Big Bang re-runs now in bed..... last few NYE have been like this. :) I'm okay with that.

Merry 2015 everyone. At the risk of sounding saccharine- thank you all for being here.