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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Relationships

abusive parents attacked me.

162 replies

NC090 · 30/11/2014 20:51

Namechanged for this.
I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this and I have called my DH to come home but didn't really tell him why over the phone. I need you all to calm me down a bit please.

So background
My father was abusive growing up and my mother not only used to ignore it but if she could see he was in a mood she used to tell him that I had been bad so he would take it out on me rather than her. My parents were and still are very respected and admired in the village were I grew up and were they still live.

DH is black and my father in particular was disgusted when he discover we were dating. When I was a teenager I met my DH and his family who have been great with me. We married and have two DCs who are beautiful. We live about 25 minutes car journey from my parents.

We have no contact with my parents and hadn't spoken to them since DC2 was born 4 years ago. When we have bumped into them we ignored them. The DCs don't know them they just know that we don't see then as they aren't very nice people.

So to today
I am 15weeks pregnant we have been trying for a few years so we are really excited. We told the DCs last weekend and then we told family and friends.

Today in the morning whilst me, DH and the DCs are in the local park we see my parents on a bench. They seemed like they had been their for a while as they had blankets and rucksacks with them. When they saw us they started to get up but we were already leaving as we told the DCs we had forgotten something and went back home to make cakes instead.

Then DHs aunt calls to tell us that my mother has been to theirs saying that they want to talk to us. They don't know we're we live so they went to aunts hoping she would tell them. She wouldn't and my mother left.

Then an hourish ago DH had gone to work. DCs were playing upstairs with me . I thought I heard the door opening so went downstairs and my parents were standing in the hallway. I turned to go back up the stairs and my mum begged me to just wait and hear them out.

She said that someone had told them that I was pregnant so they had come to talk to me. They had asked around and someone told them were we lived. I told them to go and I was going upstairs to call the police. My father said I had to talk to them. He told me that my grandmother was dead and they felt I should know. I asked when they said 3 months ago. They were trying to decide when to tell me and when they heard they had to tell me. I asked how they told me.

I told him to go now please. They said no.I turned to go upstairs and my dad lunged for me grabbed my top and pulled me back. I told him to get off. He told me to stop and listen so I said I would. He kept hold of me and made me walk back downstairs. He then went on started going on about the mistakes I had made and how I had wreaked his respectability in the village he was nearly whispering in a very low threatening voice.

I begged him to let go so he pinned me to the wall and ran his hands down my body and squeezed in between my thighs. And almost on instinct really I slapped him across the face. Then it's a bit of a blurr he punched me and my mum pulled him away and told him I would call the police. He said I wouldn't . Then I could hear DC1 screaming. My father pulled away and they both ran to the car.

I calmed DC1 down and she is now asleep in my arms and I am waiting for DH to come and I have locked and barricaded the door but I can't stop shaking and I haven't looked at myself yet to see if it's a mess or not and I can't believe I hit him because he will use it against me.

I need you all to calm me down and help me think rationally what the hell should I do to protect my babies.

OP posts:
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BitOutOfPractice · 02/12/2014 16:11

God what a horrible incident! How on earth did they get in? Did your father frce the door or was it unlocked. It's especially hard that it happened in you r own home. Hope you're OK

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Ohfourfoxache · 02/12/2014 16:34

I had hoped that this thread wasn't real Sad

Hope you're as ok as you can be x

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BlueBrightBlue · 02/12/2014 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Blu · 02/12/2014 17:08

And yet you manage not only to think it , but post it.
A mere 9 posts since MNHQ unlocked the thread.

RTFT and don't troll hunt.

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KateSMumsnet · 02/12/2014 17:33

Hi everyone,

We've unlocked this thread - but please do stick to our talk guidelines, and report anything you'd like us to look at.

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something2say · 02/12/2014 17:41

I think there would be legal issues around posting these events prior to giving a statement.

On that basis I wonder if this thread should be removed and perhaps the poster emailed to suggest she starts again with less detail and only how she is now. I have seen this before in another incident. Posting online is an issue especially if there will be a live matter.

X we report first.

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Ohfourfoxache · 02/12/2014 17:58

Have you heard from op, MNHQ? How is she?

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Ohfourfoxache · 02/12/2014 18:00

Sorry - stupid question Sad

Just wish there was something we could do to help Sad

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Roomba · 02/12/2014 18:14

Jesus, what kind of a man sexually assaults and punches a pregnant woman.

OP's husband, thank you for updating. You had no way of knowing that these sick fuckers would do this, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Who would imagine anyone would do this to their own child?

I hope everyone in their precious community sees what dreadful excuses for human beings they are.

I hope you are doing okay, OP. Wish I could do something to help you too.

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sykadelic · 02/12/2014 19:10

Hope you're doing okay OP!

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tb · 02/12/2014 20:02

Just to say that I believe you OP.

I really hope that you are your DH are able to get over this and continue your lives untroubled by your completely unfit parents.

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Dilligufdarling · 03/12/2014 12:26

Hope you're doing ok OP.

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