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abusive parents attacked me.

162 replies

NC090 · 30/11/2014 20:51

Namechanged for this.
I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this and I have called my DH to come home but didn't really tell him why over the phone. I need you all to calm me down a bit please.

So background
My father was abusive growing up and my mother not only used to ignore it but if she could see he was in a mood she used to tell him that I had been bad so he would take it out on me rather than her. My parents were and still are very respected and admired in the village were I grew up and were they still live.

DH is black and my father in particular was disgusted when he discover we were dating. When I was a teenager I met my DH and his family who have been great with me. We married and have two DCs who are beautiful. We live about 25 minutes car journey from my parents.

We have no contact with my parents and hadn't spoken to them since DC2 was born 4 years ago. When we have bumped into them we ignored them. The DCs don't know them they just know that we don't see then as they aren't very nice people.

So to today
I am 15weeks pregnant we have been trying for a few years so we are really excited. We told the DCs last weekend and then we told family and friends.

Today in the morning whilst me, DH and the DCs are in the local park we see my parents on a bench. They seemed like they had been their for a while as they had blankets and rucksacks with them. When they saw us they started to get up but we were already leaving as we told the DCs we had forgotten something and went back home to make cakes instead.

Then DHs aunt calls to tell us that my mother has been to theirs saying that they want to talk to us. They don't know we're we live so they went to aunts hoping she would tell them. She wouldn't and my mother left.

Then an hourish ago DH had gone to work. DCs were playing upstairs with me . I thought I heard the door opening so went downstairs and my parents were standing in the hallway. I turned to go back up the stairs and my mum begged me to just wait and hear them out.

She said that someone had told them that I was pregnant so they had come to talk to me. They had asked around and someone told them were we lived. I told them to go and I was going upstairs to call the police. My father said I had to talk to them. He told me that my grandmother was dead and they felt I should know. I asked when they said 3 months ago. They were trying to decide when to tell me and when they heard they had to tell me. I asked how they told me.

I told him to go now please. They said no.I turned to go upstairs and my dad lunged for me grabbed my top and pulled me back. I told him to get off. He told me to stop and listen so I said I would. He kept hold of me and made me walk back downstairs. He then went on started going on about the mistakes I had made and how I had wreaked his respectability in the village he was nearly whispering in a very low threatening voice.

I begged him to let go so he pinned me to the wall and ran his hands down my body and squeezed in between my thighs. And almost on instinct really I slapped him across the face. Then it's a bit of a blurr he punched me and my mum pulled him away and told him I would call the police. He said I wouldn't . Then I could hear DC1 screaming. My father pulled away and they both ran to the car.

I calmed DC1 down and she is now asleep in my arms and I am waiting for DH to come and I have locked and barricaded the door but I can't stop shaking and I haven't looked at myself yet to see if it's a mess or not and I can't believe I hit him because he will use it against me.

I need you all to calm me down and help me think rationally what the hell should I do to protect my babies.

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IAmNotAMindReader · 30/11/2014 21:30

Look at the evidence you have to back you up.
The history of abuse you left behind.
The years of no contact.
The fact they didn't know your address.

The police will look at these and believe you not your father. He may well come out with a wild tale but he wouldn't leave your home. assaulted you by pinning you up against the wall and dragging you around. He touched you inappropriately and you slapped him in self defence. His response instead of leaving you alone was to punch a pregnant woman. No they will not believe him at all. He only has himself and you convinced of that and your mother till she has to lie for him and your story will remain the same.