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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband is not good with baby

103 replies

mendelli · 26/11/2014 19:22

I am having a hard time with DH's relationship with DS. This is our first baby and he's 14 weeks old. My DH is so strange about him - never calls him by his name, just 'son' which is almost a possessive thing. He says things like 'he MY son & has MY name' ( we don't have the same surname) but 2 minutes later will be screaming at DS if he dares to cry. He says awful things like 'shut the fk up you little sht' which upset me so much. He has almost smashed the pram up 3 times when in a rage, and thrown things across the room when DS wouldn't stop crying.
He doesn't care about spending time with baby either. If he finishes work early, he will go to the gym rather than come home to be there for DS's bedtime.

But strangely, he talks constantly about how soon we can have another baby, and actually he was the one who was keen to have kids in the first place, not me.

I feel so alone and am really starting to feel angry and resentful. What can I do? I have tried to talk about it but he just turns it around on me and says I'm over sensitive.

OP posts:
MissHJ · 27/11/2014 20:05

Op has left mumsnet, found out from a email after I and some others reported the thread. I really hope she took something from the thread on board. I keep thinking about the harm the baby could come to if she fails to protect him and leaves the baby with his dad. It's really bothering me, keep thinking about it. I hate the thought of a baby being hurt Sad

SilenceOfTheSAHMs · 27/11/2014 20:17

Maybe she's come off MN so her partner can't find out she's said things on here? I don't know.

Maybe she's left him.

I have a feeling she may be back, I pray she will.

The bastard.

GoingToCalifornia · 27/11/2014 22:50

When my firstborn was a baby her father was having a row with me and she was crying constantly, so he picked her off the floor and yammed her really hard into the swinging seat.

He also threw the big, heavy 'decorative' boulder off the hearth at me whilst I was holding her once. It was so heavy it would never have gained enough momentum to impact us anyway, but the point is it was the closest thing to hand..

Don't underestimate the possibility he'll take out his anger on the child eventually, as an effetcive weapon against you. Be wary.

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