Would you be happy for your sister and your husband to share a bed?

[jumpinchillybean]

I'm 7 months pregnant and my husband's snoring has been getting on my nerves. I also get restless and am a light sleeper because of heartburn. So, halfway through the night, I sometimes ask him to sleep on the settee .
That way, we both get some sleep.

My sister has been staying with us for a while because her flat was recently flooded, and I have just found out that she has taken pity on him and has let him into her bed on at least two occasions over the last month!
The only reason I found out, was I went down for a glass of milk a few nights ago and he was no longer on the settee.
I heard laughing and found them in bed together.
They weren't doing anything and weren't even led close to each other.
There was no jumping apart when they saw me. Or guilt that I could see.
The spare bed is a Kingsize, so there was plenty of space between them.

It seemed to be on the level, and I was so tired, I went straight back to bed and decided to ask questions in the morning.

The next morning, in the kitchen, I questioned them and according to her and him, all they've done is chat and then fall asleep and I should be okay about it, because she's my sister and I can trust her and she would never do anything to hurt me. And she said she felt sorry that she was a guest and had a bed and yet he had to sleep on the settee.
And in her words: 'She sees him as a brother anyway'. He said he looks upon her as an extra sister.

My friends (and my mother) think I'm crazy to allow this. But, she's my sister and I can trust her. Can't I?

The only thing that makes me slightly uneasy is that she dresses skimpily in front of him and is very flirty. But that is and always has been her nature. She is like it with everybody.
Still, it makes me feel a bit shit, because I feel unattractive and frumpy at the moment as it is. This is making me feel worse.
And if I'm honest, I feel a bit hurt by their attitude. The way he seems to flirts with her and the way she encourages it.
Or am I imagining it?

Is it normal for a sister to treat another sister in this way? is she just being kind in sharing her bed?
Is this being too close?
Am I being paranoid? Or is it all the fault of my hormones.
Should I be okay with it?

See, surely the sister would get in bed with you if she felt guilty about your dh sleeping on the sofa. She's fucking him or she wants to.

I wonder if this thread was started by someone trying to prove a point that the majority of people blame the woman in a dodgy situation

Success so far, I would say

No.
If she's that bothered about hogging the bed she can give him the bed while she sleeps on the sofa.

Absolutely not,
How very strange.

I was just coming on to say what lemiss did.
Sister should offer up the spare bed by getting in with you. That's much more normal.

Is this a joke?

Sister is out with friends tongith.
Its me and DH. I was going to talkto him about it, but he switched the tv off and brought the subject up himself.
He said he has been thinking about it all day at work and knows it made me uncomfortable and he won't be doing it again.
He went to get extra pillow from spare room and that's when the 'invite' occured.
I think he's telling the truth. I mentioned flirting he says he didn't think he was, but now he is aware.

If you have been married for a long time, and she is like this around everyone, then I would say it's fine.
Your sis is just a open person, and not a necessary a flirt,
Though my bil is quite ridged a I could never imagine doing that with him.
I'd trust her

Erm....no.... just odd.

I trust my sister and my DH but I can't imagine a scenario like this ever being acceptable.

My sister and DH would be deeply uncomfortable at such an idea (even though they like each other) and so I'd be perfectly happy to let them go ahead with it

In your situation, hells no.

Why can't she just let him have the bed?

And I think if I can't sleep in future, I will leave him in the bed and go into spare room with sister myself..
Not ideal. I am a really restless sleeper and need space at the moment.
But its better than the other scenarios.

No way! Even without the skimpy clothes and mutual flirting, it's just weird beyond weird. Is she jealous of you, it seems she may be. Really shocked to be honest.

Tell her to sleep on the sofa if it's such a problem.

This wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Do you trust your husband?
Do you trust your sister?

If the answer to both of those is yes, then what's the problem. King size bed, not near each other, not interested in each other. Not a problem.

My DH would be welcome to kip with my sister if it was that or the sofa, because I trust them both.

I think it's fine. Mind you, I'm the one who, when we were staying as a family in a haunted house, fled in terror after one too many creaks at 3am and sprang shrieking into bed with my brother and SIL.

They were livid and booted me out.

OP, I'm glad DH has decided against a rematch.

Hell no.

I trust my sisters implicitly but wouldn't like this.

I haven't read all responses but my overwhelming feeling is that if they are all they should be then they should realise that it is inappropriate, and that they should not be putting you in this position.

Have you seen or read In Her Shoes OP?

I wouldn't like this at all. I trust my sister totally utterly completely. I know nothing would happen etc, but I wouldn't like it anyway. It's just not appropriate - far too intimate. Equally I wouldn't sleep in a bed with her DH even though it would mean nothing. It's just not something I'd be comfortable with.

I don't have any siblings, but I can't imagine there's any way in hell I'd be ok with this. And I'm not normally the jealous or insecure sort.

This would make my toes curl, and I love and trust both my sisters and my partner. I have no pregnancy hormones flowing through me either.

Seeing as you are 7 months pregnant I would suggest that now is the time to speak to your sister about moving out so that you can prepare the house for the baby - this would avoid any possible issues before Christmas. All new parents need a bit of space and time before baby comes along.

No. Especially as they had done it a couple of times and didn't even tell you.. Guilty conscience, even innocently just sleeping, as they know it would upset you and isn't right.

Going to speak to mum tomorrow with possibility of sister moving in with them for the last couple of weeks. I think its best and they did originally offer.
I'm not happy with this situation and I don't want an atmosphere. And we have done our share, so itis not as if we didn't take her in at all.

I think she will agree, as I confided about the ';sleeping arrangements' and she was disgusted. So she will definitely agree to her staying with them. Sparks will fly as they clash a lot and it will be cramped . Tough.

There was a new episode of the Kardashians last night.

Pregnant Kourtney kicked Scott out of bed for being too noisy and he eventually went in to sleep with her sister Khloe and she got upset about it and everything being so weird.

So similar. Uncanny.

Ooh.