Would you be happy for your sister and your husband to share a bed?

[jumpinchillybean]

I'm 7 months pregnant and my husband's snoring has been getting on my nerves. I also get restless and am a light sleeper because of heartburn. So, halfway through the night, I sometimes ask him to sleep on the settee .
That way, we both get some sleep.

My sister has been staying with us for a while because her flat was recently flooded, and I have just found out that she has taken pity on him and has let him into her bed on at least two occasions over the last month!
The only reason I found out, was I went down for a glass of milk a few nights ago and he was no longer on the settee.
I heard laughing and found them in bed together.
They weren't doing anything and weren't even led close to each other.
There was no jumping apart when they saw me. Or guilt that I could see.
The spare bed is a Kingsize, so there was plenty of space between them.

It seemed to be on the level, and I was so tired, I went straight back to bed and decided to ask questions in the morning.

The next morning, in the kitchen, I questioned them and according to her and him, all they've done is chat and then fall asleep and I should be okay about it, because she's my sister and I can trust her and she would never do anything to hurt me. And she said she felt sorry that she was a guest and had a bed and yet he had to sleep on the settee.
And in her words: 'She sees him as a brother anyway'. He said he looks upon her as an extra sister.

My friends (and my mother) think I'm crazy to allow this. But, she's my sister and I can trust her. Can't I?

The only thing that makes me slightly uneasy is that she dresses skimpily in front of him and is very flirty. But that is and always has been her nature. She is like it with everybody.
Still, it makes me feel a bit shit, because I feel unattractive and frumpy at the moment as it is. This is making me feel worse.
And if I'm honest, I feel a bit hurt by their attitude. The way he seems to flirts with her and the way she encourages it.
Or am I imagining it?

Is it normal for a sister to treat another sister in this way? is she just being kind in sharing her bed?
Is this being too close?
Am I being paranoid? Or is it all the fault of my hormones.
Should I be okay with it?

I'm pretty relaxed about most of the scenarios that people post on MN but, no, this one is just too intimate and inappropriate.

This thread is like someone has tried to make up a situation that is weird, but a little different to the usual button pushing scenarios that get MN'ers ears pouring forth lots of steam

My friend thinks I should ask her to stay at my parent's house, but thier house is ramped.
I also don't want to create a family rift before Christmas.

sorry cramped.

Also she said she would never do anything to hurt you I think you can quite legitimately say her sharing a bed with your DH does hurt you!

No way.

Absolutely not. Send her packing. You are seven months pregnant. She shouldn't be freeloading with you, flooded flat or not. She's not your responsibility. If she's no where else to go she can go back to your Mums. Being cruel to be kind here as I have a sister who's angling to come and stay with me at the mo but I'm putting my foot down. No way.

Once you've dealt with her, you seriously need to talk to your husband too. I'm sorry to be harsh. Is is snoring in-audible to your sister? He needs to grow up.

sure you are lovely and he's with you for all the right reasons but your sister sounds like a right wee monkey and he's betrayed you in my view a bit too.

That's most odd.

My sister and my husband would both die a thousand deaths before bunking up together!

I don't have a sister but my thoughts are if you are uneasy there is a reason for it.

It's not even anything to do I with it being your sister really. It's just not appropriate for a any single woman to be in bed with a married man (or indeed if the genders were reversed).

Time for sis to go stay with Mummy I think.
Btw trust doesn't come in to it - it makes you uncomfortable that should be enough reason not to do it with no further discussion.

Seriously - very politely send her somewhere else. Get your Mum & Mil to help if necessary.

No chance. Massive, massive No. Even if they had asked me first (and they didn't ask you, or even tell you, they just got caught). Send her packing.

No.

They've crossed a boundary. Your sister should stay with your Mum.

Very, very disrespectful.

And weird. Don't forget weird.

Fucking hell. Absolutely no way.

Oh my God no. No way.

If they'd asked your permission beforehand, then yeah, fine. But they didn't. Did they even plan on telling you? Seems a bit weird.

No. Never. Not ever.

Btw if my sis invited my DH into bed never would happen in a million years then he'd say no and come to tell me straight away. That fact that no one mentioned it tells me they know it's not ok.

Your sister is inviting your husband in to her bed?

Well hey look I trust my sister and I trust my husband and there's never been any shadow of attraction between them and I still wouldn't put up with this. No you should not be ok with this.

Why is it taking so long to repair her flood damaged house?

If your Mum thinks it's dodgy then surely she'd happily have your sister for a few weeks? She'd understand afterall.

It's one of the most bizarre things I've read on here actually [and I have read a lot of stuff] and I cannot see how anyone thinks this is normal.

Ones partner should not be sharing a bed with another woman full stop.

You're not the one creating the rift.

Look there's trusting people under normal circumstances (as I trust both my dh and my ds, really I do) and then there's putting them in a situation where you are inviting a disaster to happen. I think it's verging on madness.

I don't think I would be happy but then I wouldn't kick my husband out of bed in the middle of the night either.

Either share a bed with her instead or send her somewhere else so your husband has a bed to sleep in.

Weird weird weird.

Show them this thread if they say you're being silly.

How odd. Whose husband shares a bed with another woman without letting his wife know?

A JK husband?