dating 83

[jesy]

Can I start us ???'

I have just been sent over here from relationships, great thread btw. Not having the best time at the moment. Back story, I am 31 and was married when I was 20 for 5 years. I have a DS of 11 and his dad barely bothers.

Since the end of my marriage, I have had a couple of short term relationships. My latest one lasted in October this year when I was dumped after 16 months. Since then, I have had dates with two men that I have met online. One I went out with three times and then he went quiet on me. The second, I had a date with on Tuesday, and he seems to have gone quiet too.

I am feeling very down and my confidence is very low right now. I feel as though no-one will ever want me. I can't work out what's wrong with me

*ended in October

Do you eventually get over first date nerves? Got another one tomorrow and already the nerves are twitching. Once I've met the person I'm fine it's just the run up.

Well had a good cry , texted him and wished him the best ,grown up thing to do I guess .

Rioux

No I didn't , I wanted to but was grown up , said love to you both
And joked don't forget my invite

Sadly I will always have a love for him stupid first love crap lol

Tried OLD for the first time-it really is crap isn't it?!

Why do you think that MM? I used to love it!

Tried OLD for the first time-it really is crap isn't it?!

+1 to that mysteryman

Although I have to say if you are a vaguely normal bloke, it is much better for men than women I think. There are a higher proportion of normal women to weirdos than normal men to weirdos in my experience.

I've given up and am not doing OLD any more.

jesy I understand how hard it is to let go of someone you cared about, you cant delete those feelings you once had for that person. It took me a couple of years to except that my EH didn't love me anymore.Still have a tearful moment when I find a old picture or remember the dreams I had for us. Be strong and remind yourself that its better to use your time and energy on someone who loves you back and cares about you.

Taking my own advice I have removed the blinkers and told Mr Young that I deserve to be treated better. He doesn't text untill very late, never has he called me to talk on phone. He is rough and uncaring in bed, keeps making digs about me being older, I got asked for ID the other week when buying wine :)
My Mum says I need to value myself more and build on my confidence, after years of being put down its hard.

Back to POF I suppose, I have no chance of getting a date in RL.

I know he won't invite me , and I'm sure the first I'll know is when I see it on one of his mates fB .
He can't have known her that long about five months or so.

Woke up in the night realised I had no pictures of us to be together and started to cry again.

At times he treated me crap and even his best mate says he full of bull lol but I did/ do .
Guess another friend lost and now he got his little family but when I told him about ours he went mad.

I have recently signed up and believe me, there are some weird women on there! I hope when they sent some messages that their were either drunk or high or both!

Mystery There are normal people on OLD you just need to block the weird ones. I find it depressing to be selling myself online but if I don't I will be single forever. There is a real shortage of men in my age group. So either I go younger or older by 8+ years.
Still think its more of a minefield for women than men in regards to weirdo and sexual messages. I just ignore and block.

This not dating as such but I trust your view.

Been chatting to the Mr garden on fB, no problem there moved from pof to fB as pof app on my phone a bit odd a yeah he not the issue.
Since been on fB a friend husband messaged me and I'm finding it creepy , I can't block him as they both use same account.

He made a,pass at me a few years ago and makes unsuitable comments and yesterday was final straw.
I've been polite but very non committal answers , asked what I was up to said shopping nothing else and I got the for your weekend date .
Now my mate had obviously told him about the date it I get impression he thinks I sleep around .

I a t say anything to her tho

Jesy just ignore, think you might be reading too much into this. I hate FB I have to say, find it very intrusive.
Mystery Just have to block weirdos.
gotta Mr Young sounds like a knob and you deserve better.

So not dates planned this weekend, chatting to MR Builder atm, let's hope he does not turn all weird on me, as seems to be a trend atm.

Saw a lovely profile ( don't like many) this morning we share do much in common on paper, but think he is far too good for me do did not bother messaging him.

X taking alot of my time, been @ mine 2 days in a row very late, think he is having a bit of a manic phase ( pretty convinced he is Bipolar but never formally diagnosed). Sadly still love him. He suggested we go away tog but know it was the Bipolar/drink talking so will not take him seriously.

Blossom

I prob am over reacting to it , it just made me feel uncomfortable.

Hello All

Do you mind if I join in? I've been lurking for a while, have much experience with the world of OLD... but I'm not a parent. I would add to the diversity, I'm a lesbian (yes they can be just as bad as men when it comes to sending unsolicited rude photos!).

Hopefully I can give some decent advice, as well as amusing you all and asking for opinions when I can't work out if I'm being paranoid or my gut instinct is telling me to 'let this one go'.

I'm not currently seeing anyone, it's also a while since I went on any dates but I'm currently chatting to a few nice ladies, with a view to meeting up with at least two of them. They are pretty long distance and my life is unusually hectic just now, so it won't be for a while!

When I first started reading these threads, I had never really come across the issues with lying about age/height on profiles. I had found quite a few women lie about their hobbies. However, recently a couple of women have lied about their age and turned out to be a few years older. Also I've had a few who should have been taller than me, but when we met were definitely shorter! If people care about age/height etc, surely they'll just dump someone when they discover that person is shorter/older?! Those of us who aren't so bothered about these things, but are bothered about honesty... well it's quite possible we'll distance ourselves because of the 'white' lies!!

Sorry this turned in to a long post.

Blossom, if only we could wave a magic wand when it comes to feelings about exes. Can you spend less time with him without impacting on kids?

Oh blossom take a step back from the ex... that's very hard to heal etc when you are around all the time. Personally I wouldn't be in the same graveyard as my ex....

The block button is a wonderful invention, pof is driving me mad with 20 somethings wanting an older woman .... so it's block block block !! I'm 37 , anyone my age wants younger girls ... so it's either 20 yr olds of 60 plus

In saying that I have a date tomorrow night .. not from pof ! We have chatted lots since the weekend and he seems really nice... We shall see

Dippinmytoe - what sites are you using? I used to think the same about age but I've just turned 35 and the guys I've seen so far have been 35, 39 and 36 and the one I'm seeing tonight is 37. So I don't think it's true that all men won't date women who are a similar age.

Doc Welcome I would think OLD would be just as difficult in same sex relationships, think something about OLD makes people think they bullshit but as you say when you meet someone lies become pretty evident. My thing about height is I just don't fancy short men. Re X, he comes to me mainly not DS, it is all rather complicated.

dipp Yes I know you are right re X but well I dunno actually lol

I agree about the magic wand

I'd love that right now x

Doc - welcome to the thread. Interesting to hear that women send unsolicited explicit photos too.

I think the 'lying about age/height' thing is based on people's self-delusion that they're charming/interesting/attractive enough that those little white lies won't matter.

I had an OD date last year with a woman who was 43 but said she was 35. I was 39, and I would be interested in a woman of 43 who'd been honest about it, but the fact she lied so ridiculously (she couldn't pass for 35) combined with the fact she didn't believe that I was telling the truth about being 39 - and 5'10 - when I was being honest about both - put me off her.

dippin - can't you use POF filter settings to stop men under 30 contacting you? Or do you need to be a paid-up member for that?

jesy - I believe that these days you can buy something vaguely wand-shaped which will temporarily take your mind off exes. They even sell them in Boots these days. Remember the batteries too.

dolly I'm on match and pof... I used to find pof ok but lately it's awful... I find match hit and miss. I know all guys don't want younger or older...

blossom do you want to get back with ex.. or is it a bad idea ?

bant ha ha re wand, very funny

dipp we were tog 20 years, I kicked him out a year ago. Had NC for several months but now I see him everyday, he spends several evenings and most weekends with me. (not sleeping tog, well occasionally) he is a very complex character. Don't know what I want, the idea of a fresh start with someone new and normal sounds appealing but X and I can talk/laugh for hours. Most people think we belong tog