dating 83

[jesy]

Can I start us ???'

Upfront about turn-ons and offs is one thing, but upfront about possibly having performance issues I think should be kept quiet and just see how it goes first; they'll find out anyway if it happens.

I can't help but want to know the reason for the anxiety. My exh was always going on about how he wasn't big enough, he was actually normal size. But it made me wonder if I was missing out.
I just don't want any sexual hang ups, I don't want to be in a relationship with someone with mental issues because I was in that situation for years. If he's got a mental issues regarding sex, how can I ask. If I do find out ot may turn us both off each other. He has had two relationships end in last 6 yrs, he's got two children from those relationships so it works.

Blossom keep an open mind but at arms length...

Gotta unless you're very patient (I'm not!) sexual anxieties could be anything from premature ejac to his ex criticised him in bed... neither are nice for him or you but for him to bring this up means he's either sending out a warning (and expecting you to understand) or he's using this as an excuse (I'm guessing) as to how/why not to or to get close to you...

You could meet up but I'd have to say I'd want these anxieties out in the open! Don't be sad by the way...

My story so far... have had interest (wonder if any men read my profile...) quite a few older men saying I'm stunning etc which is nice to know have replied to one or two...

Blossom He's very flirty and is acting eager to get intimate, I now want to dtd asap. But if he gets all weird or he can't perform its going to be a horrible situation.
Never even thought that a man in his mid thirties would have problems with getting hard. I suppose if he had not told me and we got intimate and he couldn't, I would of felt it was me not being desirable.

Gotta - oh so its that... well that's not terrible but why by text?

Also - so many men are into the hair pulling etc - its porn type stuff they see and think women like... news for you men - we don't like to sometimes feel like we're being raped thanks v much... also certain stuff go see a prostitute etc for thanks v much - no disrespect to prostitutes.

also size (for the men) it really doesn't matter... well it does a bit but so many big men just think that does the trick. It doesn't. tenderness goes a long way too. TMI but hey!

That's what I'm meaning gotta about mentioning problems. Now he's got you anxious about what his trouble is and it's making things even more difficult than they might actually have been.

It's good to be honest, but not too honest about things early on in my opinion; plenty of time for that once the relationship has established itself better.

gotta you and I are on the the same page, My X was obsessed he was not big enough ( he was ok and I never made him feel bad ever about that) the last few years the ED became intolerable also I don't think he has a very low sex drive, also MH issues. So like you I am very wary of getting involved with some one with issues, just can't face it all again.

I can't comment on the current topic of conversation

But guys, I think I need you to keep my feet on the ground. I'm due to meet Ms Accent after Christmas. In the meantime we have chatted on the phone, not often but when we do we are on for hours (nearly five hours last time). We chat by text everyday and added each other on FB. I haven't found anything not to like yet. Remind me that we may meet and just not get on at all!?

Blossom My exh projected all his hang ups on me, he was clueless that not all women can orgasm just with the use of a mans penis. He made me feel bad about that, I have no problem giving myself a big O.He lost his sex drive and said I was like a sack of potatoes in bed, I didn't let this knock my confidence.
I don't want to waste anymore time having rubbish sex.
I Think Major Tom is lacking confidence, he's good looking but thinks he's punching Obove his weight with me, he's words. He wants to get in shape for me. Told him I am not shallow, most men play it cool and don't like to show vulnerability or always let on how much they are into you, play games and such.
That's why I was so suspicious of him, he wants to see me loads and take me out.
I wont do the come in for coffee but I need to find out if there's sexual chemistry.

gotta Yep been there got eh T shirt. Weirdly X and I had far better sex after we split. It was quite a revelation to me when I first started OLD that men found me attractive and sex can be good. I felt like a non woman for past few years of the relationship and it was all my fault apparently NOT!

Doc That sounds positive :) Be positive and don't do what ifs.
It is easy to get carried away and develop a emotional thing before meeting.
I had a long distance thing with a guy and I was not dating because he was in my head. I knew we would never meet but we had amazing chemistry and shared interests.
It sounds good to me that your in each others head, just go into it with a open mind and enjoy it.

Blossom I felt like a non women and unattractive, invisible to my exh. I had to numb all the feelings I had left for him and move on.
Now he notices everything, comments on what I wear, raised his eyebrow at me wearing lipstick and nail varnish.
When a guy fixing my boiler asked me on a date me complimented me I realised I was still attractive and how great it felt to have a man show interest and it made me decide to split from exh.
I stopped hiding my figure and embraced being a women, my confidence is a hundred times better.

Gotta, since you first mentioned him on here he seems to have gone through the stages 'cocky player type' to 'wistful, overly sickly sweet romantic' and now 'anxious wreck'.

Rioux your comments a page back re major tom maybe not being able to deal with other issues down the line is a valid point.

In fact I think it's one I've dealt with in my past few relationships but you know you get blinkers on lol

Made To be honest with old its easy to get jaded and over analyze stuff. Its easier to see things and get out quick than risk getting hurt or fooled.
I spoke to him yesterday night and explained why I thought he was a player and that I was feeling anxious about things, told him I was not comfortable with him saying I'm perfect because I am not. I said I was unfair to accuse him and he was alright about it.
I get fed up when men going on about my looks and body, I know attraction comes first. I don't want to be arm candy, looks don't last forever.
Rioux I asked him if he got excited down below with regards to finding me attractive, he said yes. Is that half the battle or could it all go limp come the act.

Rioux Since hitting my thirties my sex drive suddenly woke up and my exh suddenly lost his. Im definitely not all about penetrating, I also haven't had all of lovers which might explain why I put up with the hair pulling younger man. Definitely not keen on rough sex.

Gotta a bit off the record don't tho just love the fact you can speak to men here?!

I can only usually ask my brother or his mates... As no platonic male friends anymore!

Got a date on Sunday lunchtime. But bit frustrated by the fact that the guy is expecting me to decide where we're going, what time etc. last time this happened and I arranged the meeting place, we ended up in the chippy as although the pub I'd chosen offered food, the guy had pigged out at lunch and wasn't hungry! I suggested Covent Garden but would like him to come up with a few ideas rather than expect me to research restaurants this evening. Should I say what type of food I'd like and tell him to book somewhere suitable?

Gotta - Am I right in thinking this anxious man is still the same man you saw at the bar whilst on another date and had previously messaged with before on OLD; the "Hello Gorgeous" text man? That's why I made the comment about how he seems to have changed because he seemed initially from your posts to be quite the confident type; which now appears to have been an act.

I am glad for the male's opinion on here. Also they seem like decent men too.