dating 83

[jesy]

Can I start us ???'

I think maybe I need to meet up quicker. I was on holiday last week so had been chatting online/by text to tonight's date for 2 weeks. So I feel a connection but it just isn't there in real life.

Ok, I'm 5'5 and-a-half, so was putting 5'6" in my profile. Think I will change it to 5'5".

Would love to know the wack-a-do things women say to men in messages. I do know some women in RL on OLD and they are VERY aggressive in their pursuit of men. They come on very strong.

Wrap dress, I am very new to OLD and couple of women seem very forward! Definitely not what I am after at such an early stage.

As for height, I don't go for tall women really. I am 6'1" but prefer women much shorter than me.

I must admit that after some initial circumspection, I am finding OLD a bit of fun. Will see how things go but I may have lined up a couple of dates this weekend. Will see if they are anything like they seem on screen...

'Hi, I really like your profile and would like to meet and see if we get on.
One thing I should make clear, I'm not looking for fun, I want to have children, preferably within the next year. If you're looking to have children with someone too, I'd love to hear from you'

That's a genuine one I got. I did reply, but told her no thanks, I'd really like to at least know someone's middle name before trying to start a family with them

I think that's a fair enough email Bant.

She's not saying she wants children with you and right now.

She's just saying she's in the market for a serious relationship with someone who wants children pretty soon. There a lot of guys for whom either of those would be a total "no" - so it's best that she doesn't waste her time.

It could be better worded though as it's the "preferably within the next year" is a bit too full on. The wording could do with softening but it's fair enough to express that at the start.

and if you are saying no, that' probably a good thing as you aren't for her.

Funny how she said not looking for fun, but wants a baby, as if wanting a baby means having no fun. Either/or.

Having a baby within a year means conceiving within 3 months. Who can realistically decide that they want to have children with someone in the space of 3 months?

And yes, she was messaging me, so I can assume she was interested in meeting me, as long as I didn't turn out to be pleasant and interesting enough to not put her off. And the have babies with me if she fancied me. So I told her that while I appreciated the up-front-ness of the message, I'd like to get to know someone first.

I'm open to the possibility of having more kids, but not just to be a convenient sperm donor for a random woman I've just met

And as I said to her, it's fine to be upfront, just not in a first email, maybe wait until you meet someone first or have at least exchanged messages with them

maybe wait until you meet someone first or have at least exchanged messages with them

I disagree and think that most women experienced in OLD would disagree. When you first start you have this approach but there is so much dross on OLD that if you are after more than a sh*g, it is better to be very upfront.

Meeting someone for a first weeding meeting takes time - travel time there, time spent with them, time traveling back. Assume you met 10 men from OLD, chances are you may be interested in seeing maybe 1 again possible 1.5!

When for most of us with busy lives you could be doing something more fun and productive.

So many men are just after random hook ups or are post-divorce no commitment that if you wait til you meet them you are wasting everyone's time.

OLD is a dire process and conditions people to discount people on the smallest things. You are wasting everyone's time if you are looking for something non mainstream (ie. kids and in a fairly swift time frame) and you don't say so.

Well she was still on Match over a year later, so I'm guessing it didn't work for her.

LOL.
I agree that the wording was too blunt and harsh but the basic sentiment of "just to let you know I'm looking for a serious relationship and children in the near rather than distant future" is not something that isn't worth saying right at the start.

Serious relationship, fine. I'm looking for that too.

Concieving a child with a comparative stranger within 3 months? Desperation.

If she hadn't said that, I'd have wanted to meet her. She was educated, attractive and local. But she said it and immediately I'm wanting to slow the relationship down before I've even replied to a message. Maybe go on holiday with a girl before I impregnate her, you know.

So.
Next!

Well thought I would pop on this thread. Just starting to think about OLD again. Didn't get very far in the spring as it all kicked off with ex. I didn't have much joy with POF or Telegraph so thought I would try a few new ones so signed up to Mature dating (as I will be 50 next year) and a Parent one. Sent off a few random one-liners to test the water. Quick 1 line reply from 1 chap - quite pleased. Less so when 4 hours later a second email - stroppy message about me not sending one-liners if I wasn't going to respond. Heart sinks. How can any sane person think that a total stranger is going to put them first in a busy life. I am now at the point where I have clearly got to pay to be on a site - any recommendations?

Dolly I often find that too.. someone seems great when messaging but there is no spark when we meet in person. I just tend to keep that in mind, enjoy the messaging phase, but be prepared that when we meet we may not hit it off (or may end up just friends which is always great). Sometimes I have met up with people really quickly, others a few weeks or even months. I think my worst experiences have actually been ones I didn't spend much time messaging before I met them.

springalong Hi Personally I don't use paid sites. I use pof and lesbian specific free apps. While this means ignoring the more dubious messages.. and there may be a lot more of them for straight women.. I find there are enough sensible women on these sites too. Usually it is easy to tell from a profile whether someone is there for a bit of fun as they put less effort in and perhaps suggestive photos.

"I often find that too.. someone seems great when messaging but there is no spark when we meet in person."

Yeah I've had this happen to me as well in the past. The emails/messages are really good, but when you meet it's like the alien body snatchers have replaced the woman during the night with an emotionless clone; maybe it's just the first date nervousness thing. Dating might be easier if it were like in primary school where you just went up to a girl and tried to hold her hand in the playground and hoped that she let you.

What does anyone do when you really want to click with someone and you know deep down that you could get on really well, but somehow (possibly due to their nerves/shyness) you just can't seem to make the breakthrough with them?

So yesterday, the guy who I went on a date with on Tuesday started texting me again even after I blocked his number (not sure how that happened). Anyway, something I had been noticing was that he kept taking the piss out of my job, accusing me of being lazy and spending my time gossiping to patients. I pulled him up on it and he said I was being "funny" and "can't you take a joke?" I just said, let's leave it and have deleted his number and blocked him on FB.

I have two lunchtime dates next week. One on Monday, the guy seems very nice but I'm not particularly excited about it. The guy on Tuesday I am far more interested in. He's a single dad, likes corrie (bonus), easy to chat to and good looking. Should be fun.

Dolly I try to avoid chatting and messaging too long before date. I can tell from a week of messaging if conversation will flow on date or not. I state on my profile that I am not keen on weeks of messaging.
I am going to put up my pof profile Monday, I try and have hope that there's someone out there for me.
Any advice on dating someone who lives I the same village.
Got a message from a man my age and living in my village. Not seen him around but then I don't mix with the local people.

scrambled - I had one like your piss taker guy, he always followed nasty comments with a 'LOL'. Because that makes it oK
Corrie dad sounds like a good date (I would say that, being a northerner).

Toddler boy has been up on & off since 3am & is still bouncing about. Tis excellent pre date prep

gotta I suppose dating someone who lives in the same village would be like the olden days style dating

BABES- Yes, there was lots of lols. I didn't mind the first time but it stopped being funny after the 5th time. I got the impression that he thought his job as a paramedic was somehow more worthy than mine. Yes ok, he saves the odd life but I do some good work. Hmmph.

Just had shock of my life lol
Randomly looking at people on my city bit up pops Mr IT , it's not the same profile he had with me I even took one of the photos that were on there.

After the initial shock my first reaction was why ? he as a lovely girl even if he not looking he should take it down for sake.

Sorry just needed to share lol

What have we been telling you sll along jesy? He's a player.

It's funny I feel for her though I'm hoping I'm wrong and its old but he wasn't on it when we were together.

He a,player yes but also my mate lol

Has he been in touch lately as a 'mate' then?