What does this say about a person, how they see their relationship and really feel about DH.

[MyBrothersKeeper]

A GF has been on pill for years with no issues or baby scares. About a year after marriage, the now DW announces she’s pregnant with ‘no idea’ how it happened (starting a family hadn’t been discussed with DH). She wasn’t ill or on other medication. No question here of parentage child is defo his. However, GF cheated with OM when dating BF but denied it to him (but it did happen!!).

So, she got pregnant on purpose to try and cement relationship/trap DH, knowing that the truth about cheating would eventually come out and worried he’d be off???? Thoughts anyone.

Thumbwitch - love roundaboutation! It's going to be my new word.

OP, don't know how you can say it's not relevant who you are. It really, really is. If you're the DH you should say so. If you're anyone else - especially his sister - you should, as numerous other posters have said, mind your own business & have a good, honest look at why you're so over-involved in this.

Being asked for advice / help isn't an excuse. I have known people who love to drag others into their relationship messes, encourage them to feel indignation on their behalf, even get them to intervene. It doesn't end happily, & the outsider is usually resented for their involvement, however well-intentioned - especially if they've obviously "taken sides".

Nothing wrong with saying: "I'm sorry you're having these problems, I'm happy to listen, but I really don't want to get involved any further. I think you need to speak to DW - she's the only person who can help to sort this out".

No one on here with whatever background can possibly tell you what kind of person the DW is, or how she feels about her DH. She might have just been idly surfing facebook. She might be looking for a way out of an unhappy marriage. And she might have never truly loved him, like you suspect. No one on here can tell you which it is. The DH needs to talk to his DW about this, with impartial outside help if necessary, if he wants to sort it out. He and you won't get anywhere by trying to guess.

Sorry OP,

don't think he's gonna leave her for you

That was an incredibly swift deletion from MNHQ....

What's going on?

What did the deleted post say?

even more confused

Didn't see it....was removed with sniper stealth

"what she must really think of DH, and how she's viewed their relationship"

How do you expect any of us complete strangers to see into some woman's mind? This is an insane train of thought.

Wow, that was fast. I think it said something about bitter responses, and might have rearranged the letters F T S U...

It just insulted a couple of posters who weren't saying what OP wanted to hear. Was an impressively quick deletion!

I didn't see it either.

I actually don't understand how there was enough time for someone to report it, MNHQ to read the report, come to a conclusion, and delete.

Quite Cinnabar. MNHQ faster than a speeding bullet.

Sometimes, if a thread has been reported enough, I think MNHQ keep an eye on it to see if anything dodgy is going on. Maybe that's what.

Meh, not bothered what it said anyway - this thread is a lost cause.

Oh I thought it might have been

PART 3

Maybe that's what happened I mean.

I take the view that if the OP was being gratuitously insulting then her post should have been allowed to stand, so everyone can see the kind of person we're talking to.

I fell pregnant on the Mirena coil. The chances of falling pregnant while on the pill are much greater than for the Mirena, so its perfectly possible this was unplanned.

You think she's trying to "trap" him with this pregnancy, but they are already married. Doesn't make sense.

I think you should butt out.

I would say keep out of it, it's their business. By all means support them, but that's all you can do.

I don't see its vital for someone knowing where exactly the OP fits for people to give viewpoints. Facts are facts however, and by whoever, they are presented. If you read my other posts Ive been honest about DW good and bad (yes the pill thing could have been coincidental - but unlikely)

PART 3 (for SCOOP !?!)
I'm DH brother, who 'openly' has no experience of female relationships.
I love him dearly and yes I do think he's been shafted.

I feel a bit guilty too because it was our other brother who found out about her seeing om on side but his then GF (whose sister was seeing DW then mateom mate) bullied him into not telling all he knew. My poor DH brother begged my arse of a bro to help him out and talk about it, but he refused. I knew it was all wrong and thought he should know the truth but Brother was a bully (who was bullied by GF!) and made me say nothing. I was too young to really understand consequences.

So its difficult for me to hear people say stay out of it because people staying out of it helped create this. I know my bro and he would never have married he if he'd known she cheated.

For her to be searching FB for the om now just throws shit in his face. Many have said no one knows except her why she's searched for om from years ago. But no one has given a valid reason why she should be searching for him, coz there isnt one - lets face it MN have lots of people regretting things, the last thing on their mind is looking up the OM.

BTW. Surprised my last post was deleted as it only suggested (robustly) people with nothing to offer except 'who cares' type responses keep off advice forums.

Even with your latest update, it is still true that:

• Your brother chose to marry her despite suspecting about the cheating.
• Your brother chose to rely on her being on the pill despite knowing it had failed (whether accidentally or deliberately before).

He has made these decisions and will be living with them.

I also don't understand how your brother's friend cheating, and him getting 'dragged in', has influenced hus relationship - you seem to be suggesting that it made the DW more insecure so she decided to get pregnant to 'trap' him, even though they are already married.

Did you ever tell your brother about the cheating and explain how your older brother had persuaded you not to tell him at the time?

And the point still stands that NONE of us can have the first clue what this woman's motivation was as we don't know her and only have your rather strange storyline, which tbh still doesn't add up or make much sense.

So again - WHAT were you hoping for from this thread? Validation for your belief that she's a manipulative bitch, or what?

Threads like this are odd aren't they?

The demands and the brittle control, obey everyone, or else!

You must answer like this
You must confine opinion to the set questions only
You must answer with the limited information provided
You must expect no reciprocal information sharing or free flowing discourse

And finally:
You must always say what the OP is blatantly steering you towards, or insults will rain down like fire from the heavens. Obey everyone, quickly!

Why? Exactly? What makes you think this is an appropriate way to engage with people? And why ask opinion when the last thing you want is actual opinion?

Baffling.

People are complicated, relationships are complicated. People get married to all sorts of people for all sorts of reasons, and its largely not possible to judge from the outside how valid those reasons are. No one truly knows another persons inner most thoughts and subconscious reasoning processes, so your brother wasn't duped into marriage.
Its a shame for your brother though that his marriage isn't great at the moment.

Thanks for clarifying....

So tonight Mathew I'm going to be....The brother

Sorry typos on para 3, should be:

I feel a bit guilty too because it was our other brother who found out about her seeing OM on side, but his then GF (her sister was mates with DW and was also shagging OMs mate) bullied him into not telling all he knew to DH brother. My poor DH brother begged my arse of a bro to help him out and talk about it, but he refused.

Thinking about it, I cant believe we ALL (other bro, his then GF, her sister and their parents) watched my poor DH brother get married under such circumstances.