What does this say about a person, how they see their relationship and really feel about DH.

[MyBrothersKeeper]

A GF has been on pill for years with no issues or baby scares. About a year after marriage, the now DW announces she’s pregnant with ‘no idea’ how it happened (starting a family hadn’t been discussed with DH). She wasn’t ill or on other medication. No question here of parentage child is defo his. However, GF cheated with OM when dating BF but denied it to him (but it did happen!!).

So, she got pregnant on purpose to try and cement relationship/trap DH, knowing that the truth about cheating would eventually come out and worried he’d be off???? Thoughts anyone.

What does it say about the W's character, opinion on their relationship and opinion of H?

If she did in fact get pregnant on purpose (unless you are she or she admitted it to you there's many reasons birth control can fail... one less known one being if the pill is damaged in some way or the blister pack has popped)... there are so many reasons for it:

• She could be very insecure in her relationship with her H and feels that a baby will mean he won't leave (naive too). Cheating was something she deeply regrets.

• Could be that she heard her biological clock ticking, wanted to have a child "in wedlock" and thought he'd be a good candidate so gave it a shot

• If he's rich it could be she wants child support from a rich guy (and a child too)

In my opinion though, thinking he's just a regular guy and she's just a regular girl... but one who did get pregnant on purpose, it sounds like she's probably living in guilt and thinks that having a kid with him, making him happy, will make it less likely he's going to leave her when the truth comes out.  Sadly, that's highly unlikely the reaction he's going to have and rightly so.

He didn't marry her knowing the truth. He didn't make the choice to have children with her, and especially without knowing the truth. He's going to feel very betrayed, moreso than just about the cheating itself.

Comfy seat - check
slippers - check
popcorn - check

ease back and relax.

You sound jealous, and quite bitter. Why are you do involved? Like another poster said, this thread says more about you than her.

Give your head a wobble OP . If your brother didn't want babies he could have wrapped it up.

They're married and starting a family... what is your beef?

Who cares?

Yeah, like the woman is a total bitch, i bet she spends all his money too and only wants the baby so she doesn't have to work anymore, what a slag!!!

Is that what you wanted to hear OP???

gamerchick What does "give your head a wobble" mean? I like the sound of that saying, but obviously don't want to use it out of context, would be embarrasing like! :)

Just post like a proper adult for a start, all of this 'hidden identity' is just childish.

I think your post says more about you than it does her.

Actually, maybe the best thing you could have done, OP, is to ask the husband WHY he didn't contemplate/discuss/allow his tiny mind to consider that babies might enter into the equation at some point (either DELIBERATE babies or OOPSADAISY babies).

But I'm sure the baby will bring joy, peace and happiness to the world around it, like all babies do.

Might start knitting some booties...

I STILL* think

Just another version of give your head a shake lemiss or give yourself a slap type of thing.

I'm not really sure what you're wanting to hear other than everyone slagging off the DW?

I've two children, got pregnant with them both on the pill. No illness, alcohol or whatever else affects the pill involved. Completely unexpected and didn't even find out I was pregnant with my ds until I was 11 weeks gone. It happens. Not sure where you're "she wanted to trap him" theory came from since a) they were married already and b) a child doesn't equal a life long relationship. Take that from a single mother of two. Admittedly I left him but plenty of men leave when there's children involved too.

Also, I think you best sit this one out. You don't need to come posting on a forum asking for advice when whoever else is wanting your advice can do so themselves. Tell them to sign up and start their own post about it, they'll get much more help as atm your op comes across bitchy and distainful so you're not likely to get much help.

Or are you maybe a girlfriend/wife/OW wondering that if you trick your partner into getting you pregnant he might stay? Or wanting to know what other people would think of you if you did get pregnant on purpose without oh knowing/consenting?

Generally people get married and have children. Before getting married life is perfect. If husband didn't want children he could have had a vasectomy. None of it concerns you. Many children are born into imperfect relationships and circumstances. You OP need to grow up and stop bitching. There before the grace of god go I.

You seem to know a great deal about their relationship. You mention in the OP that a GF has got pregnant and that the GF is now a DW.

You say you aren't questioning who the father is and frankly I am not sure while you feel you have the right to even consider this? Unless you are the DW or DH this relationship has got nothing to do with you.

What exactly do you want from this? Are you looking for a comprehensive slating of the GF-now-wife? Will that validate your own feelings?

Other than that, I can't see the purpose of this thread at all.

So, have they asked you?

What relation are you to the DW or DH?

I think the buns are just about ready, op.

PART 2
Facts about the DW
She's not a bad person. She's hard working and keeps a good family home. But she is a loner, has security issues and is able to tell barefaced lies convincingly. These are proven facts!

This first pregnancy actually happened a few years ago and although DH had mixed feelings about it and suspected it was intentional on her part (perhaps to do with her cheating, her guilt etc), he has been a totally committed father.

Problem is it happened again, this time after DH got dragged into some nasty shit when a so called mate got caught cheating on his own GF but tried dragging DH into it. A little while later, DW was pregnant whilst on pill again!

Recently DH has spoken about them becoming increasingly distant. He's discovered that she's been looking at her ex's on Facebook BUT has also been searching for this guy she cheated with (but didn't admit to). He is gutted.

He now thinks he was used mainly as a escape path from DWs awful family life. He believes she loved him but was never truly in-love with him; he also resents not knowing the 'real her' before they married.

MN has lots of bastard husband stories (understandably) , but he's a decent and loving guy and has deserved better.

I'm trying to gauge opinion from those who've had hard life experiences as to the type of person DW is; what she must really think of DH; and how she's viewed their relationship.

Yes I think she's a untrustworthy bitch but I am trying hard to see it from different angles...

Do we get part 3 tmrw

Oh fuckit, who gives a shit. I can't understand the angle here at all and am beyond caring actually.

Unless you're the DH and looking for advice on whether or not to leave her, or make a go of it, then I REALLY can't see what YOU want out of this. IF you are the DH then bloody well say so and stop with all this roundaboutation.

I'm thinking that the OP's MN nickname is significant?

Your OP said:

A GF has been on pill for years with no issues or baby scares. About a year after marriage, the now DW announces she’s pregnant with ‘no idea’ how it happened

Now saying:

This first pregnancy actually happened a few years ago and although DH had mixed feelings about it and suspected it was intentional on her part (perhaps to do with her cheating, her guilt etc), he has been a totally committed father.

Problem is it happened again

Which is it? Second pregnancy or no previous issues/baby scares?

(have I missed something here?)

She didn't get pregnant by herself. If the pill had failed before then it can't have been a complete surprise to the DH that it had happened again, can it?

You seem to have this image of this man who drifts along without any input into his own life. Everyone around him is determined to trap him into things or drag him into their own dramas.

He chose to marry his girlfriend, even though he suspected her of cheating on him.

He chose not to take any further responsibility with contraception, even though he knew that their chosen method had failed before.

He has as much responsibility for the consequences of those decisions as his wife does.