"You latched on to me and think you're more than you are"

[PigmyAcne]

That is what my lovely dp has just said to me. All because I asked if we could try and get. "Our" house in both our names as I'm contributing to it every month yet only his name is on the mortgage/deeds.

So yeah ... I apparently latched onto him and think I'm more than I am as a result.

Never felt so shit in all my life.

There was a case recently here:

www.theguardian.com/law/2011/nov/09/court-rules-property-rights-unmarried

What can I say? All the pointers appear to indicate that you are being mugged off and thuis guy has no intention of seeing you right whatsoever.

I think your surmises are correct and you ought to make plans to go it alone elsewhere.

Hmm this is worrying me I'm not in permanent work so couldnt get a mortgage so DH got it in his name. I pay around 40% a month of it (he's a higher earner) as we are married if we split up would I get anything

Being married is highly significant Physcobitch. Any property, cash, investments or other assets acquired since the marriage are deemed 'joint' in the event of a split whether you are named on the deeds or the mortgage or not. The individual contributions - unless protected at the outset by a pre-nuptial or similar agreement - are not taken into account. Even if you earned nothing, contributed nothing, did nothing bar sit all day on a futon eating caviar you would still be entitled to a share of the marital assets. Starting point 50/50

The 2k did you pay that directly to the solicitor? Did you bank transfer to him? Or withdraw cash?

Do you have any emails or texts from pre buying or during buying or post buying detailing the fact you were to be paying 50% of the mortgage?

How do you pay the 50% each month? Go online and obtain the last two years (every one since you moved in) bank statements showing your contribution (if a bank transfer). If cash print bank statements showing cash withdrawal.

Take a copy of the mortgage statement.

Go online and using house price calculator www.nationwide.co.uk/about/house-price-index/house-price-calculator (ie nationwide house price calculator) type in the price you paid and in which quarter and it will estimate the current value.
Check this with an estate agent, go into a reputable agent tell them you are looking to split up and ask if they feel the price seems correct.

Document all of the above in a tidy coherent list. Ie bought house in sept 2012 paid x gave him x deposit via bank transfer. Paid x per month sept 12 to sept 2013 then increased to x from October to dec 13 due to gas bill increasing or whatever.

Once you have all this info together go to a solicitor with your list and the documents used to create the list. This should hopefully minimise your solicitor bill as you won't spend ages rifling through paperwork and guessing figures.

It may not feel like it but it is good you realised who he was after 2 years.

How much has he offered to give you to buy you out? Me thinks 2k but I am cynical!

Wow!! You are so lucky you have seen his true colours now when you are really only 2k down (if you can treat the monthly payments as equivalent to rent). I'm afraid I agree with your assumption that he had no plans to marry you. It really does sound as though he was happy with the status quo but had no grabs long term plan with you. Now you've pushed the point you have seen his true colours and you really have only one option now, and that is to leave.

Stop this month's payment and get a rental deposit together and MOVE OUT.

Ltb.
let him pay you off and use that for a rental deposit.

did you ever hear the story about a woman whose husband kicked her out for another woman and she put fish in the hollow curtain poles and he couldn't work out what it was etc etc.

my evil streak would be tempted to do something similar!

You have posted about this arsehole before I think?

Definitely LTB. Do you have friends or family you can stay with for a bit?

I am guessing you don't have a joint bank account "hollow laugh" so you will just have to stop any outgoing payments that relate to him/joint things and get out as soon as you can.

Forget what you have spent - you had a nice home to live in and you can leave with the moral high ground. It's a sunk cost but time to move on now.

Onwards and upwards OP. Get him to "pay you off" and then cut all contact.

People like this DO NOT CHANGE.

For goodness sake. All those still saying 'go to a solicitor' - there is no point!

It's awful, but the OP has no rights here. If she had a deed of trust in place then she would have a right to her £2k back plus any increase in equity they had agreed upon in the DOT. She didn't, because he knew full well the implications, and refused to get one. So she has no rights. The law is in place to protect owners of property and unfortunately is very skewed against trusting partners who move in.

The article posted up thread isn't relevant unfortunately. It is talking about the assets being more fairly divided on a break up, but only where they jointly own. It clearly states "The unanimous decision by five supreme court justices makes it clear that even though the home was registered in the names of both the man and the woman, judges are permitted to substitute a fairer division of possessions."
The OP was NOT registered on the house in any way. She has no way to prove that the money she was paying to her 'D'P was going towards the mortgage or home repairs, and even if she could prove it, it still gives her no rights!

The only thing the OP has a right to is any physical items in the house that she purchased on her own bank card as these are legally hers.

It sucks, but that's that.

It's not fair, but it is legally the case, and all the print outs you are encouraging the OP to wave in front of a solicitor will not make a blind bit of difference.

Be nice to this idiot's face and get what you can back off him. I hope he's enough of a gent to give you more than £2k, but I doubt it

Psychobitch - you would be entitled to nothing I'm afraid as things stand at the moment, have a chat with your other half...

I linked it more as a point of interest. If it's 2k in any event it would quickly be eaten up by legal fees.

I saw a thread recently were a woman was on the cusp of moving in with her partner and having a dilemma about not wanting to pay half the mortgage and she was accused of all sorts.

You have to think of these things.

I would cut your losses now, don't pay a penny more to the mortgage.

Well, the knowledge that this guy is a piece of shit is well worth 2K when you think that you might have ended up with children by him. Money well spent...

You know, he probably won't want you to go. Personally I'd tell him that you think it's best you have your 2K back, you'll put that in your own account to save for future house moves, then it will be morally all his house and you won't mention being on the mortgage any more, and you'll pay as you do now and see it as rent. If he won't do that then you will leave.

I reckon he may give you back the 2k on those terms. Then once it's safely in your bank - tell him to swivel. On a paper aeroplane made out of one of his big fat bank statements. Tosser.

Yeah, I saw that. She was right to be worried about it. But it is hard when you move in with someone in these circumstances. If you refuse to contribute to the mortgage then you're a cocklodger (or whatever the female equivalent is!), if you do pay in, then you're a mug!
The OP of the other thread was happy to pay market rent IIRC, which was less than half the mtg and bills would have been, but the only fair compromise really. You're getting none of the long term benefits of home ownership, so you shouldn't be paying in as much. I didn't see how the thread turned out...

The only thing you can do is go into these things with your eyes wide open. It's so frustrating that myths still exist about some sort of 'rights for partners' as it means people are not fully aware of their total vulnerability in these situations.

God yes get rid and tell him you're off to find a partner who is your equal.

I wouldn't go to solicitors because by the time you've paid them and costs of selling etc. are taken into account you won't get much back, even if anything can be proved. Instead tell him you do have a legal right to a share but you'll drop it if he pays you off, you 2K (plus interest if you think he'll do it). Then take the money and run.

YY Castle

The other frustrating thing is that he's had the best of both worlds. If he didn't want you on the mortgage at this point in your relationship, and wanted to give your £2k back, then you really should have got a proper rental agreement drawn up instead which at least gives you tenants rights (not to be chucked out on your ear etc). But then of course he'd have to declare the income as it's taxable, so of course that was never going to happen!

"Latched on" the more I read it the more derogatory it sounds....

What a vile individual....

Make sure you take every single thing you purchased including the floor

He means what he said, that he doesn't think as much of you as you thought he did. That would be the end for me too. Nasty little shit was happy to take your money though.

If you aren't married and not on the mortgage you haven't got a leg to stand on and that's the bottom line. I don't understand why people still seem to think otherwise. Seeing a solicitor is a total waste of time and money, and anyone advising that just doesn't seem to understand how totally powerless you are in this situation.

I lived with my ex for 11 years, had two kids with him, ran a business with him, put thousands into the house and I got fuck all. Not a single penny.

In order to get anything you have to prove that your contribution increased the value of the property in the time you lived there. Then you would potentially get half of that increase. It's incredibly difficult to prove however. You have to work out what it was worth when you moved in and what it's worth when you move out and the show in detail how you personally aided that increase - through financial contribution or work on the property. It's too bloody complicated to bother and the legal fees would eat up anything you might actually get awarded.

My ex's house was a complete shithole when I moved in, but it was bigger than mine, I was pregnant and dozy cow that I am I got talked into it not just by him but aided and abetted by my own mother who thought the sun shone out of his arse and even gave him a few thousand even though I declined, she just went behind my back and he bloody well took it. We spent thousands doing the place up. We all like to think our partner will do the right thing morally if we split up but they don't.

If you're not entitled to anything, but he is prepared to pay you off - what's he offering?

But she is entitled to the 2K she put into the deposit surely? I mean legally she might not be able to prove she paid it, but it's money that belongs to her that is tied up in the house. He can pay OP this back (obviously, it depends on him actually doing that, fingers crossed) and I would definitely be asking for it.

Tell him you agree to being paid off with interest and you'll stop going on about it.. then leave him. You'll never forget the way he's behaved or the things he's said.

Even if there's no increase in what you paid originally or he refuses to give you back what you've paid into the mortgage, I hope he at least gives you back the 2K deposit money so you can get a rental deposit together. What an absolute shit.

Captain - morally entitled? Yes. Legally entitled? No.

Tell him you agree to being paid off with interest and you'll stop going on about it.. then leave him.

This is your best bet OP.