oogling young girls

[typingtoofast]

Myself and my partner have decided to give it another try. He is convinced im the woman for him and has apologised for his regular selfish episodes where I have to explain to him that his behaviour is not condusive to a healthy relationship. Ultimately he's selfish. But he has improved and I have seen a loving, attentive and kind man. I was beginning to think that this was a great new start for our relationship and was glad to give it another shot as had missed him when I decided to end it. The break gave me and him perspective and what was important to us both. All that aside.
We were out today in town and a group of young girls (16yr olds I'd say)were obviously heading off on a halloween party night. I had mentioned how inappropriate I thought the outfits were as they were extreamely revealing. You get the picture. In my mind I'm also thinking how they will catch their death of cold!
He views the girls and says they're out for a good night and laughs. He almost snapped his neck gawping. Now nobody could help it as the outfits as i said were ott. But then he replies they'll be teasing the boys later in the nightclub. I reply yes and that's just wrong.
I have in hay days worn revealing outfits and I replied that I wasn't necessarily looking for sex I was I suppose just rebelling and trying to be adult like.
He replied but kids these days are having sex younger, just look at them,look at the one in the tiny outfit. She'll be having sex tonight with the way she's carrying on.
I told him that's enough, that he looked like a sleezy man oogling.
He replied oh to be back that age again. I'd love to meet her out. Imagine the fun.
I was appalled by two things. One him visioning and two saying it in front of me.
Is this normal? I was disgusted and chose to say nothing for the rest of the evening. But then I think what if middle aged men say these things in their head. He's stupid/honest enough to say it out to me.
Now I'm thinking I am with a sleezy middle aged man and worries me that he would think like that.

I still can't believe people are STILL coming out with this shit, telling women what to wear so as to avoid sexual assaults etc.

I really think there's room for a campaign where survivors/victims say what they were wearing at the time they were assaulted/raped/abused/groped/verbally abused.

it's FUCK ALL to do with what they are wearing.

I'll start. I was raped and I was wearing a red skirt and white jumper. But no bra. Oh dear. My bad!

I'll make sure I cover up in future.

Some women go out dressed to specifically attract male attention

yes, but that isn't the issue

again, switching the issue to the behaviour of women instead of the behaviour of men....it's a really damaging but unfortunately prevalent rationalisation

does this mean all women (and girls) should accept unwanted sexual attention, or write it off as just one of those things that men do ?

People dress for who they want to attract, every species does things to attract a mate. I see young men heading out in nice shirts, aftershave, hairstyled. I don't see the women leering or shouting show me your willy at them.

Woooooode, there is, here

And Cog wasn't comparing a woman's vagina to a wallet on a car seat at all. That's ridiculous.
The attitude of men feeling entitled is society's problem as a whole. As I said before, I'd rather my daughters not be a torch bearer to challenge these attitudes if it puts them at risk.
I know that's selfish and dismissive, even cowardly but they're my kids and I want them to be as safe as possible.

And now neil and cog are agreeing with each other. This is too weird.

Its ok if they are drunk Viva and black people should just make themselves whiter if they want to avoid comments .

I know that's selfish and dismissive, even cowardly but they're my kids and I want them to be as safe as possible.

Especially given the company you keep. Have the sleazebags met your daughters?

You be a torch bearer then and tell your mates to stfu when they make comments about women.

So they're "putting themselves at risk" with their type of clothing. Not victim blaming at all is it?

Myempireofdirt, I was young too. 14. Still my fault for having skin on display and putting myself at risk though according to posters here.

So Neil and cog, do you think if I'd been covered up it wouldn't have happened? please expand.

The theft of property as compared to sexual assault has been rubbished by better people than me here

Maybe my son shouldn't wear shorts too. All that leg on display.........

To be constructive.

Can we make some empowerment 101 reading suggestions to the OP?

Here is my suggestion : fuck off, sleazebag.

That covers it.

Start here if you're interested, OP. You were talking earlier about different angles.

Hopefully others will have even better suggestions.

The FWR section maybe? Might be educational for some of the rape apologists on this thread too.

This is pointless really. I KNOW men make comments if they see a woman out on the town with lots of flesh on show. Somehow, you seem to be turning that FACT into me being a rape apologist and a victim blamer.
I'm not. I know I'm not but I'll have to back away from this thread.

FWR as a whole could be intimidating for some people . I'll go and mooch for a thread.

It's not an ideal world and it never will be whilst dangerous views that women must adapt and change their behaviour in order to protect men from themselves persist. It is also frankly and insulting to men to portray and patronise them en masse as incapable of controlling themselves or understanding the difference between right and wrong.

In my own personal view I detest this emphasis on the victim of a crime, any crime, to take responsibility for preventing a crime the responsibility should lie solely with the perpetrator of the crime and the emphasis should be on not committing the crime irrespective of the victim's actions.